Posted on 11/21/2003 2:50:38 PM PST by .cnI redruM
This Top Ten List Idea is Cool. Here's my version.
10) The Multistate Tax Commission - Even the name sounds evil. 1st Amendment? We don't need no stinkin' 1st Amendment. We'll tax the internet until the USPS is a cheap method of message conveyance.
When Sen. Ron Wyden (D - Love Ananda Granola Commune) is ragging your butt for OVERTAXATION of the American people, 'yea, verily thou doth suck!'
Here's a link in case my humble efforts fail to convey the true idiocy of the MTC...
http://www.nationalreview.com/nrof_comment/katz200311180903.asp
9) Kofi Anon, Lead Brigand, UN - Kofi believes the US should fork over a big pile of loot so that 3rd world pedophiles can take advantage of the world wide web, just like US and European ones. It's not fair, you see, if the hyper-powers have all the high tech gadgetry.
Link? I don't need no stinkin' link. We all know Kofi is a confiscatory, hornswaggling waghalter.
8) Ted 'The Cromagnon' Kennedy - ORCA of The Bay State has demonstrated a major case of racial prejudice. He has failed to accept the fact that neanderthals are people too. At least they were until GWB attempted to appoint enough of them to the Federal Judiciary to offset prior slights and past racial indignities.
I believe Senator Kennedy's intemperate remarks could have a disparate impact on the asperations of all neanderthals. This could have a chilling effect. Chilling effects are bad when you live in a cave and wear deerskin jerkins intead of Armani.
7) The AARP - When the AARP enthusiastically endorses legislation, it's time to make like the pre-30 Jane Fondle and not trust anybody over 30. Nevermind the pyschological ramifications of that fact that I, myself, am over 30.
The Perscription Drug Panderation Act is pathetic. A bunch of whiney, old fudge-farts were promised a drug-free America and they want their free drugs now. A panderation this big could span the circumference of Michael Moore's waistline and not even strain too tightly against the last belt loop.
The Prescription Drug Panderation Act must die. The members of AARP should get Icy Hot rubbed in their depend undergarments for spending $35 million to foist this travesty on the younger generations. Gosh, why are young people so ungrateful these days?
6) Michael Moore - Ted Kennedy isn't the only person who gets to pick on neanderthals. I want in on the act as well. When I think unwashed, slovenly, troglodytes, my mind asks the following cosmic question: "Dude, where's Michael Moore?"
Moore has the personal charisma of a phlegm ball. He is a traitor. He has done everything short of endorsing Mullah Omar for President. He behaves like a fully-owned subsidairy of AL-Quaeda. His virulent, anti-American propaganda makes the hiring of a War On Terror Lord Haw-Haw, to represent the intrests of militant Islam, an unnecessary redundancy.
5)Howard Nikita Vladamir Taxyernutzoff Dean - Picking on fatties and troglodytes would make me such a mean-spirited right wingnut. To remedy this perilous lack of balance, I'm now taking some whacks at America's personification of The Napoleon Complex.
Like old one-nut Adolf, Dean displays a rather unvirile metrosexuality, merged with a penchant for aggressively minding the affairs of others. His latest proposals to get the trains running on time again involve re-regulating vast swaths of the domestic economy. This Coceascou-Channeling, Green Mountain Nut-Job must be derailed.
In case your browser doesn't censor offensive content at work, here's link that describe his latest policy ideas.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/ac2/wp-dyn/A59183-2003Nov18?language=printer
4) Michael Jackson - Just in case The Perscription Drug Panderation Act didn't frighten younger Americans badly enough, it's baaaacccckkk! Michael, at least, can be arrested and detained. Maybe I err in making him more dangerous than the American Association for Retarded Policy.
3) John McCain and Russ Feingold - Congratulations Senators! You've reformed campaign finance the way Enron revolutionalized energy trading.
George Soros can buy an entire party wholesale rather than just shopping one senator at a time. This is an essential feature for the busy scumbag currency arbitrager who can't be bothered with retail politics. It's like shopping at Sam's Club rather than Walmart.
Campaign donors are no longer Johns. They've now been elevated to the role of pimp. America is all about upward mobility. Nice work, gentlemen.
2) George 'Gordon Gekko' Soros - Oliver Stone invented Gekko to lay waste to hard working Americans because he probably hadn't had the august pleasure of shaking the slimy tentacle of George Soros. Soros made his fortune by shorting The Thai Bhat during their currency collapse. If I were a dyed-in-the-militia fatigue, tin-foil-hat wearing soldier of the VRWC, I'd accuse him of shorting airline companies and travel agencies on 10 September 2001. He's enough of a sleaze to act on that type of info.
So now he's out to parley that fortune into control of America's political system. Thanks to McPain and FindGold, he's able to buy his democracy by the barrel. Its a sad day when a single individual can even contemplate pulling a LBO job on entire political party, but that's what Soros has accomplished.
1) Hillary Clinton - Without the Duchess of New York to unify them, the Dems are a cat heard in the throes of a violent thunderstorm. How else does one explain their roster of Presidential candidates?
However, Hillary is their ring of power. She can make them all behave and work as a team to plunder hard-working Americans. She has a sort of evil charisma that will make even the most vegged-out eco-freak stop and listen to her words of deceit and division.
Absent Hillary Clinton, George Soros might as well be buying Okeefanokee Swamp Condos when he purchases the so-called Democratic Party. With Hillary to raise the money and break a few heads, the Dems maintain a national presence and are never too far from the levers of power. She is Sauron to her Blue State Middle Earth.
Hillary doesn't generally break heads, she usually has them commit suicide...
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