Wallow In Chaos, And Laugh (Mark Morford is having a nervous breakdown)

San Francisco Chronicle ^ | Wednesday, November 3, 2004 | Mark Morford, Sore Loser

[presidio9]

Oh dear God please not again. Oh dear God please don't let it be all convoluted and depressing and messy and stupid and please don't let it all embarrass us on an international level all over again even more than it already has and even more than it already is and even more than we've endured lo these past four debilitating and soul-crushing years. Hello? Please? Is it already too late?

Why yes, yes it is.

And lo and behold, it's apparently another completely tortuous and entirely knotted presidential election, still not finished and still not all ironed out and as of this writing Ohio is headed for a recount and Kerry still has a glimpse of a chance, and hence we still don't really know the outcome, even though it appears to be leaning toward the utterly appalling notion of another four years of Bush and another Republican stranglehold of Congress and repeated GOP chants of "More War in '04!"

Which is, well, simply staggering. Mind-blowing. Odd. Gut-wrenching. Colon-knotting. Eyeball-gouging. And so on.

You want to block it out. You want to rend your flesh and yank your hair and say no way in hell and lean out your window and scream into the Void and pray it will all be over soon, even though you know you're an atheist Buddhist Taoist Rosicrucian Zen Orgasmican and you don't normally pray to anything except maybe the gods of really exceptional sake and skin-tingling sex and maybe a few luminous transcendental deities that look remarkably like Jenna Jameson.

It simply boggles the mind: We've already had four years of some of the most appalling and abusive foreign and domestic policy in American history, some of the most well-documented atrocities ever wrought on the American populace and it's all combined

[presidio9]

I have been waiting four years for her to write this column. This is one that I'll actually read. With glee.

[wideawake]

No comments yet from Ted Rall or Michael Moore?

[CzarNicky]

Colon-knotting.

Interesting choice of terms for missy Morford.

[austinaero]

GAWD-no WONDER the pharmaceutical companies love the Dems!!!

Talk about a doper baby!

[Melinda]

Laughable rubbish! And they still wonder why they can't win?????? Hellllooooo!!!!!

[reagan_fanatic]

Colon-knotting.

Interesting choice of terms for missy Morford.


Well, when it comes to matters of the colon, Ms. Morford is an expert.

[Another-MA-Conservative]

Does this qualify as "the lamentations of their women"? Sure sounds like it to me.

Oh joy, oh joy.

[proud American in Canada]

"I have been waiting four years for her to write this column. This is one that I'll actually read. With glee"

LOL!

I like this line: "apparently another completely tortuous and entirely knotted presidential election"

"Apparently," yes if you listen to CNN, but not in reality.

[COBOL2Java]

I have been waiting four years for her to write this column.

Mark Morford is a she? Who knew!

Oh well, this IS San Francisco.

[over3Owithabrain]

maybe a few luminous transcendental deities that look remarkably like Jenna Jameson

Is buttboy going straight??

[Brett66]

Which is, well, simply staggering. Mind-blowing. Odd. Gut-wrenching. Colon-knotting. Eyeball-gouging

ROFLMAO! I knew he'd be thinking of his colon.

[COBOL2Java]

Better put some ice on it, sweetheart...

[grobdriver]

please don't let it all embarrass us on an international level all over again

BWAHAHAHAhahahaha! ! ! !
Who gives a Rat's rear end?

[arkady_renko]

Oh dear God

Too late to invoke God's name, Mark. Unless you are calling upon your god Molech, the deity of infant sacrifice.

A_R

[Dr Snide]

I think today may be the best day in my life. With the exception of course of my children being born although it does feel that way (really tired but extremely happy and satisfied) My wife is going to yell at me no because she had it so much worse when are children were born. Whine, whine, whine

[JOAT]

schadenfreude \SHAHD-n-froy-duh\, noun: A malicious satisfaction in the misfortunes of others.

Heh heh heh.

[hope]

Suicide watch in the blue states?

[Maceman]

For tens of millions of us, it is simply unconscionable that we could possibly be led for another four years by a small and spoiled little man who has very little real idea what he's doing and even less of how the hell he got there.

Suck it up, woosie! We had to suffer through EIGHT years of Clinton. What makes you think you should get off with only FOUR years of suffering now?

[cspackler]

Ahh, the king (queen?) of the run-on sentence is back. Sounds like it's time for another "sabbatical".

[COBOL2Java]

Does this mean we get to take over the moveon.org domain?