Dream Job: Stay-At-Home Mom

Salary.com ^ | unknown | Regina O'Brien

[sageb1]

So why do thousands of career women nationwide opt to put their careers and salary-earning potential on the back burner to stay home to care for their children?

A Labor of Love

"I had zero experience taking care of children before I had my own," said Laura Mercer, mother of two boys and professional stay-at-home mom outside of Las Vegas, Nev. "Being a career woman most of my adult life, the thought of being a stay-at-home mom didn't even occur to me."

[tiredoflaundry]

I work P/T. My husband alternately complains that he wishes I worked F/T, so I'd make more money, or wishes that I were at home F/T, so I could sign our boys up for more "activities."

Boy can I relate to that! When my kids went to school, I worked part-time at a Credit Union. The more money I was making, the more it became "it's not enough". When my husband's company transferred us from NJ, to Fl., I told the hubby I wasn't going to start all over again & get a job in Fl. It's been 4 yrs. now & I'm still stay-at-home Mom.

[Thinkin' Gal]

And I believe that one of the latest surveys about daycare showed 80% of moms thought children did best in the home, BUT they were worried about the "socialization" issue. If more moms stayed home, there would be enough socialization in the neighborhood.

Socialization, heheh. The children who are NOT "properly socialized" are the ones who's parents can't wait dump their children off at day care, camp, school, whatever. Then, the children who HAVE been instilled with a sense of self control and appropriate social skills are at high risk of being corrupted by the kids with the irresponsible parents. And since day care personnel and teachers are not the parents, they will not or cannot provide the necessary discipline and guidance.

The malicious nitwits who have championed this socialization concept, while essentially accusing stay-at-home and/or homeschool parents with dereliction of duty, are merely projecting. They are the ones who are neglecting to teach their children the proper etiquette and coping skills for real life. Schools are filled with their little beasts. Instead of addressing their failures, it's easier for these self-anointed elites to believe that their uncivilized, immoral, disrespectful, profane children are normal, and kids outside the beast system are the ones "at risk".

Isaiah 5:20-24

20 Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!
21 Woe unto them that are wise in their own eyes, and prudent in their own sight!
22 Woe unto them that are mighty to drink wine, and men of strength to mingle strong drink:
23 Which justify the wicked for reward, and take away the righteousness of the righteous from him!
24 Therefore as the fire devoureth the stubble, and the flame consumeth the chaff, so their root shall be as rottenness, and their blossom shall go up as dust: because they have cast away the law of the LORD of hosts, and despised the word of the Holy One of Israel.

[sageb1]

"it is not uncommon for children of divorce to switch residential status from mother to father in the teenage years. In those years it is about interacting outside the home and into the real world."

You are right and knowing that mom or dad is not too far away gives them the best sense of stability. They can conquer the world!

[Thinkin' Gal]

whose

[Troublemaker]

I was at a party this weekend where there were a load of young kids. Quite a few had mommies my age. I am so glad I had children early and now can't wait for the next phase of my life and be a young grandma.

My wife notices this all the time. Many (not all) of these "older" parents seem to be quite stressed out all the time. She's really enjoyed staying at home and is/was real glad to have the children at a young age. One has already left for college and the other won't be long :o(.

[OneTimeLurker]

Makes sense. I wonder if there is empirical evidence to back this up (as opposed to being a result of higher material costs, etc.)

[sageb1]

" remember ready an article which was explaining why certain proctor and gamble products had doubled in price far in excess of inflation. The reason? Protor and Gamble determined if the husband and wife both worked, they could charch double for soap and other products."

Again, you are precisely right.

[sageb1]

"Dream Job: Stay at home dad in a neighborhood of stay at home frustrated moms."

un huh...

[tutstar]

bump

[sageb1]

"And then kids need you even more when they are teens."

Perhaps if we stayed home and raised them until they became adults, we wouldn't have so many 30-year olds who haven't grown up yet. :)

[sageb1]

"Well, I just know that there are times I know I'm not being the best wife I could be if I were home and "taking care" of my husband. He would never have to go to the dry-cleaners or shoe repair ever again....."

I always wondered if I'd go nuts when my husband retired. I'll let you know. lol! (It's a joke, guys)

[sageb1]

"I quit work when my kids were little, thinking I'd go back when they went to school. Now that they're teens, I'm still home and thankfully, I'm here when they're ready to talk...."

Ain't that the truth!

[pollyannaish]

Best job ever...but the interview process is a little grueling.

[sageb1]

"I would LOVE to be a stay-at-home wife. The main problem is that I don't much like to clean and my cooking (not to put too fine a point on it) blows."

Men will eat anything. And if not, they learn to cook. :)

[DameAutour]

I intend to be a stay at home wife. I have received some flack from people who think it means I must be lazy. But I want to make a home, I want to cook, bake, and engage in volunteer work in my community.

[Diana in Wisconsin]

"But our society uses the houses, cars, etc. as gauges of success, and too many people aren't willing to cut back on those things."

Exactly. When my stepson was in 6th grade, he started having problems with math and behavior. I crunched household budget numbers and we decided it was in everyone's best interest if I switched to part time, flexible work (a combination of home-based and outside paid employment) to tutor him and do all the school things with him that were becoming critical. We needed DH's healthcare, or he would've done it himself.

My stepson HAS a bio-Mom who was in the picture at that time, and she was absolutely unwilling to alter her work life and rabid consumerism in any way, shape or form to help her own kid! (And that's just the tip of the iceburg, but we won't go there today, LOL!)

I'd do it again in a heartbeat. We had a blast, and he's really by Best Guy to this day. He's off to college this Fall. Childhood goes by so fast! I can't believe that people don't want to spend every second of it with their kids as they're growing up. Especially when they're babies. (I love the babies.)

[sageb1]

"Socialization, heheh. The children who are NOT "properly socialized" are the ones who's parents can't wait dump their children off at day care, camp, school, whatever. Then, the children who HAVE been instilled with a sense of self control and appropriate social skills are at high risk of being corrupted by the kids with the irresponsible parents. And since day care personnel and teachers are not the parents, they will not or cannot provide the necessary discipline and guidance."

I have watched this happen. Kids with super manners suddenly turned into little brats after socializing in daycare/preschool. Why raise a child for 3 years to turn him or her over to the influences of society that early? It will come soon enough and you need as much time as possible to teach them how to resist aping the bad behavior of peers.

[sageb1]

"Best job ever...but the interview process is a little grueling."

lol

[sageb1]

"I intend to be a stay at home wife. I have received some flack from people who think it means I must be lazy. But I want to make a home, I want to cook, bake, and engage in volunteer work in my community."

There are so many things women who stay home can do. Volunteering in the community is necessary in every community. So many organizations began to hurt for members when moms entered the workforce.

[nodumbblonde]

Not to argue, but it seems to me the same thing could happen even if a woman worked outside the home. If we were relying on two incomes, he could run off with the secretary tomorrow and I'd still be screwed (although, he'd be dead, lol) Life is full of "what ifs" and you can never be fully prepared to deal with every scenario. We've tried to keep credit purchases at a minimum and as such only have a house payment and utilities. We carry enough life insurance to cover seven years worth of income in order to give me time to go back to school and get on my feet. (Once I pointed out that two weeks after his death I'd have to marry the mailman to put groceries on the table, he got my point, lol.)