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Why Christians should welcome, rather than stigmatize, unwed mothers and their children.
http://www.christianitytoday.com ^ | 9 16 06 | Amy Laura Hall

Posted on 09/20/2006 6:23:31 AM PDT by freepatriot32

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To: cripplecreek
I was the child of a young unwed mother. I was lucky that my dad did take responsibility for me.

You defied all statistics. Lucky you.
Your guardian angels worked overtime!

21 posted on 09/20/2006 6:54:14 AM PDT by starfish923 (Socrates: It's never right to do wrong.)
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To: freepatriot32; tutstar; somniferum; WKUHilltopper; DieHard the Hunter; NZerFromHK; Miss Maam; ...

Baptist ping


22 posted on 09/20/2006 6:55:15 AM PDT by WKB
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To: truthkeeper
Sorry, but this comment absolutely made my blood boil. I'm raising a grandchild so I know of what I speak. This attitude SHOULD NOT be encouraged.

Exactly. Despite the way society seems to look askance, they FINALLY learned what causes pregnancy and how to avoid it.

Shame is a very useful tool to inhibit immoral and stupid (and socially expensive) behavior. When shame went out the window, so did thinking about the results of one's actions.

And creating a human life is the most egregiously harmful thing one can do if it is not done in the proper context.

23 posted on 09/20/2006 6:55:20 AM PDT by freedumb2003 (Insultification is the polar opposite of Niceosity)
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To: linda_22003
God doesn't go around knocking up girls. He did it once only, and I don't think anyone else should expect that kind of outcome.

LOL!!!

24 posted on 09/20/2006 6:56:22 AM PDT by freedumb2003 (Insultification is the polar opposite of Niceosity)
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To: wagglebee; little jeremiah

ping


25 posted on 09/20/2006 6:58:10 AM PDT by freepatriot32 (Holding you head high & voting Libertarian is better then holding your nose and voting republican)
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To: freepatriot32
I read this article a few weeks ago. I thought that, while there were some unfortunate errors contained within the article which other FReepers have already pointed out and I will not rehash.

Still, I think the central thesis of this article is accurate: we as Christians need to make sure we don't lecture at single mothers. Once the horse is out of the barn, it's kinda too late to preach at them about how they shouldn't have sex outside of marriage. At that time, it's time to help them clean up the mess as best as they can. That would mean, for instance, helping the young girl with child care and having men in the church community take an interest in that child's life since he needs positive male role models.

26 posted on 09/20/2006 6:58:50 AM PDT by jude24 ("I will oppose the sword if it's not wielded well, because my enemies are men like me.")
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To: camle
There are so many teens who don't know "how" to behave in a Christian manner because they have not been taught what sinful behavior is. Yes, I blame Christians for some of it, including myself, because we aren't out there reaching these kids like the church should. Jesus didn't wait for the sinners to come to Him, He went to them as should we if we are to emulate the life and ministry of Christ. Instead, so many of us turn up our noses at those who have made mistakes and say "had they been acting in a Christian manner in the first place". Jesus sure didn't say this about us when He died on the cross.

We have a young lady in our church who is 15 and pregnant. Her parents are alcoholics and abuse drugs. That is the only life this girl has ever known. She was introduced to our church via some mutual friends. This little girl came in with a rebellious attitude, but her rebellion was stemming from feeling unloved and the fear of of rejection. You would be amazed at the turn around in her. She has accepted Christ and is encouraged that even though she made a mistake, He loves her and so do we. We didn't shame and blame her because she behaved unChrist like and got pregnant. She is learning how to behave in a Christian like manner because she is being TAUGHT (discipled). This young lady is now living with another couple in our church, is in school and has all the resources of our church behind her to help her be a productive member of society.

27 posted on 09/20/2006 7:01:00 AM PDT by PleaseNoMore
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To: freepatriot32

"Christianity Today" is a sort of "moderate" publication with articles like the one from this author who is described as a "Christian" and "feminist."

In my mind the modern feminist movement is inspired by Karl Marx and his 20th Century "descendents", Communists.

Just like John Paul II had to deal with "liberation theology" and its Marxist priests and theologians, Evangelicalism is filled with confused people who are drawing inspiration from secular leftism and mixing it with their Christian tradition.

Getting to the opening of the article, make no mistake that Margaret Sanger and her followers today in the "teen pregnancy" movement want to make sure that babies aren't born. They are obsessed with overpopulation and would prefer abortion to birth for young girls and its in that context that Christians should reach out.

A couple in Maine were arrested recently for abducting their own daughter to take her for an abortion.

As a father of two teenage daughters, I know their getting pregnant early would cause problems and make relatives feel shame. However, killing isn't the answer to the bad decision that led to the pregnancy.

The "teen pregnancy" Planned Parenthood crowd assumes that young people always have sex but if I may be blunt these nerdy liberals probably just have their hands down their pants.

That's about the extent of their sexual experience.


28 posted on 09/20/2006 7:01:11 AM PDT by Nextrush (Chris Matthews Band: "I get high...... I get high.....I get high.....McCain.")
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To: SquirrelKing
I don't know any Christians who stigmatize unwed mothers or make them feel unwelcome.

Our church was very open to an unwed mother, until she had her second, and then third child, still unwed.

29 posted on 09/20/2006 7:02:47 AM PDT by aimhigh
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To: PleaseNoMore
Please tell me she'll be giving that baby up for adoption to a loving, two-family home. After all, it's the truly Christian thing to do.

Please tell me that.

30 posted on 09/20/2006 7:05:19 AM PDT by truthkeeper (It's the borders, stupid.)
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To: Joann37

What? Is she serious? Is God in the business of just "giving" babies to teens these days? Has this author not told her daughter how babies are created, and that the daughter's actions have EVERYTHING to do with whether she will be "given" a baby? And the daughter would certainly be an anomaly to have two parents who would assume the responsibility to care for this child. How common would that be in today's world?

Very common unfortunately.

Kid should be packed off the an unwed mother's home, and baby out for adoption,.


31 posted on 09/20/2006 7:07:13 AM PDT by Chickensoup (If you dont go to the holy war, the holy war will come to you.)
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To: freepatriot32

If they've repented, no problem...


32 posted on 09/20/2006 7:07:32 AM PDT by Brilliant
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To: linda_22003
"If God gives me a baby"? God doesn't go around knocking up girls. He did it once only, and I don't think anyone else should expect that kind of outcome.

That excuse has been tried many times since though.

33 posted on 09/20/2006 7:07:37 AM PDT by ichabod1 (Political Correctness is communist propaganda writ small.)
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To: PleaseNoMore; All

Correction: Of course you know I meant "two-PARENT" home, as in husband and wife. Sorry about that.


34 posted on 09/20/2006 7:09:14 AM PDT by truthkeeper (It's the borders, stupid.)
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To: truthkeeper
This attitude SHOULD NOT be encouraged.

This is probably the toughest part about being a Christian.

Divorce is not a problem any more and dumping your wife for a young hottie - even if you are a Christian - is a non-issue. However, once upon a time my uncle (a doctor) had a man come in and remove his wife's records because he found out my uncle was a divorcee.

Somewhere in between those two extremes is where we need to live. Divorce is a bad thing. Some kinds of marriages are worse. G-d hates divorce but G-d gave Moses a law about how it should be accomplished "because our hearts are hard."

We must walk a tightrope. It is commanded of us by Jesus. If you encourage someone to sin it would be better for you if a millstone were tied around your neck and you were cast into the sea. But let him who is without sin cast the first stone.

We don't like walking the tightrope but the Christian can do no less.

I wish I were better at it.

Shalom.

35 posted on 09/20/2006 7:09:22 AM PDT by ArGee (The Ring must not be allowed to fall into Hillary's hands!)
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To: iowamark
That's one answer. To the girl... Mine would be that, when God gives you a baby, you are responsible to love and raise it. It means when you become a parent you become a grown up. I would be here to guide and help if you need it but it would require some changes in your life. If you were not married to the father you would need to get your GED and go to work. Diapers and baby supplies aren't free. It's a very hard job , being a single mother but you do what you have to do.

To the boy.... Mine would be that, when God gives you a baby, you are responsible to love and raise it. You are responsible to give your child a name and take care of your family. It means when you become a parent you become a grown up. I would be here to guide and help if you need it but it would require some changes in your life. You would need to get your GED and go to work. Diapers and baby supplies aren't free. It's a very hard job , being a young father but you do what you have to do.

36 posted on 09/20/2006 7:10:21 AM PDT by CindyDawg
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To: truthkeeper
I do not know for a fact what she is going to do, but I believe arrangements have been made for the couple who she is living with to raise the child or to assist her in raising the child while she finishes high school. She has two years of school left and has already began taking some college credit courses and plans to attend our local community college to pursue a degree in Nursing once she graduates.
37 posted on 09/20/2006 7:10:37 AM PDT by PleaseNoMore
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To: Kylie_04

I don't either. Unfortunately, I do know some that by their efforts NOT to "stigmatize" have gone all the way to another extreme - I'll call it indulgence - and in doing so have watched more than one unwed mother of one child become an unwed mother of multiple children.

I refuse to attend the showers and celebrations for women pregnant out of wedlock. I will give them something practical privately, but I will not say that it is a good thing.
But...but... you say...she didn't have an abortion.

Well to me that is a given that one does not murder. One does not celebrate NOT murdering.


38 posted on 09/20/2006 7:10:39 AM PDT by Chickensoup (If you dont go to the holy war, the holy war will come to you.)
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To: truthkeeper

Of course I knew what you meant. The only proper two parent home is one where there is a husband and wife. :o)


39 posted on 09/20/2006 7:11:38 AM PDT by PleaseNoMore
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To: freedumb2003
When shame went out the window, so did thinking about the results of one's actions.

Shame is also a useful tool for bring a person to repentence and back to G-d, which is what the Church should do.

But there's a way to handle shame. Handled as a loving act of a loving community it can restore the shamed to grace. Handled as the punishing act of a vengeful community it will drive a person away.

Shalom.

40 posted on 09/20/2006 7:12:47 AM PDT by ArGee (The Ring must not be allowed to fall into Hillary's hands!)
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