Posted on 01/30/2007 6:57:24 AM PST by DCBurgess58
Students were assigned to read two books, "Titanic" and "My Life", by Bill Clinton.
One smart-ass student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories. His professor had a sense of humor and gave the student an A+ for his report:
Titanic: $29.99.... Clinton: $29.99
Titanic: Over three hours to read.... Clinton: Over three hours to read
Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe..... Clinton: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Titanic: Jack is a starving artist..... Clinton: Bill is a bullshit artist.
Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar..... Clinton: Ditto for Bill.
Titanic: During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined..... Clinton: Ditto for Monica.
Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit..... Clinton: Let's not go there.
Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewelry..... Clinton: Monica is forced to return her gifts.
Titanic: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life..... Clinton: Clinton doesn't remember jack.
Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen..... Clinton: Monica... ooh, let's not go there either.
Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death..... Clinton: Bill goes home to Hillary... basically the same thing.
Love?
Ha!
The only things I miss about the Clinton Adminstration are the jokes. Since they left office, they've ceased to be funny.
You see the Miss America pagent last night? I didn't see most of it. I hope the new Miss America, being from Oklahoma, is a conservative. ;)
But anyway, during the interview portion, Chris Matthews was a judge. (!!) He asked Miss Georgia who would you rather sit next to on a long plane flight, Clinton or Bush? She replied without hesitation Clinton, because I've heard enough from George lately. I was annoyed at her comment. Thankfully, she came in third!
I hate to say this but we may be in for a whole lot more laughs after the next election. I sure hope the pubbies find someone better than the current wannabes to nominate.
She must be a Miss so and so like those other two in the news lately, dumb hos.
No one with any character and/or class would choose to sit next to Clinton.
"Since they left office, they've ceased to be funny."
Credit where credit is due:
Hillary's zinger the other day -
"What in my background would prepare me to deal with evil, bad men?"
was funny.
Hillary's running. The late night comedians are on the humor hunt again. "They're baaaaack!"
Jay Leno wondered, if Hillary got elected, what position Bill would have. "Hmmmmm....How about philandering husband?"
HAHAHAHA - only because his book reports are true!
I have seen that joke replayed several times. If you watch the blonde in a blue blouse behind Hillary you can see that she smiles in anticipation of what Hill is going to say. So, I think she is well rehearsed, except when probed she accused the press of trying to psychoanalyze her. She never answered the man's question. That could get old very fast.
That was a good one. Everybody knew exactly what she meant.
Hillary, the dumbest but most ruthless woman in the world, brought attention to what a dog her husband is. She can claim she was talking about someone else, but the nation immediately thought of Bill.
If she's elected, that evil, bad man will be back in the White House, too.
Who wants to go through that again?
When you found out your husband was a rapist, how long before you filed your divorce papers? I am still working on them. Hillary
Hillary is not dumb. She is intelligent and cunning.
It is a mistake to underestimate your adversary.
Of course she was talking about Bill. That's what made it such a very witty double-entendre. It was a good joke.
I certainly don't want to have Bill or Hillary back in the White House, but I suspect they will be unless the Republicans can build some sort of foundation and find their way forward.
No. She's not. Everything is staged in advance. She won't have it any other way. When she's left on her own, she fumbles.
The woman is ruthless. Power manipulates, and those around her are sent out to do the clean up whenever she trips.
It's not Hillary. It's her worker bees that keep her covered. If she were a Republican, there would be old damning film clips and sound bites of Hillary running 24/7. She'd be dead in the water before the elections even started.
Other than riding to Washington in her husbands briefs and being a celebrity for marrying Bill, what "intelligent" thing has Hillary ever done? What makes you think she's smart?
The liberal press told you she was "The smartest woman in the world." You believed them. That doesn't mean they're being truthful.
There is campaign video of Bill Clinton putting his hand up the skirt of a seated stewardess. Later she was rewarded with a job at the White House.
Perhaps Ms. Georgia is just looking for a Sugar Daddy.
Monica was rewarded with high-paying jobs she was unqualified for as well.
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