[madison10]

Explains why MY family is still here. :P

[Kimmers]

so is there a big booty ping list?

[atomicpossum]

I wonder what he thinks:

[dinoparty]

Cromagnum got back.

[AnAmericanMother]

De clunibus magnis amandis oratio
Mixaloti equitis

mehercle!
(By Hercules!)
Rebecca, ecce! tantae clunes isti sunt!
(Rebecca, behold! Such large buttocks she has!)

amica esse videtur istorum hominum rhythmicorum.
(She appears to be a girlfriend of one of those rhythmic-oration people.)
sed, ut scis,
(But, as you know)
quis homines huiusmodi intellegere potest?
(Who can understand persons of this sort?)
colloquuntur equidem cum ista eo tantum, quod scortum perfectum esse videtur.
(Verily, they converse with her for this reason only, namely, that she appears to be a complete whore.)
clunes, aio, maiores esse!
(Her buttocks, I say, are rather large!)
nec possum credere quam rotondae sint.
(Nor am I able to believe how round they are.)
en! quam exstant! nonne piget te earum?
(Lo! How they stand forth! Do they not disgust you?)
ecce mulier Aethiops!
(Behold the black woman!)

magnae clunes mihi placent, nec possum de hac re mentiri.
(Large buttocks are pleasing to me, nor am I able to lie concerning this matter.)
quis enim, consortes mei, non fateatur,
(For who, colleagues, would not admit,)
cum puella incedit minore medio corpore
(Whenever a girl comes by with a rather small middle part of the body)
sub quo manifestus globus, inflammare animos
(Beneath which is an obvious spherical mass, that it inflames the spirits)
virtute praestare ut velitis, notantes bracas eius
(So that you want to be conspicuous for manly virtue, noticing her breeches)
clunibus profunde fartas(*1) esse
(Have been deeply stuffed with buttock?)
a! captus sum, nec desinere intueri possum.
(Alas! I am captured, nor am I able to desist from gazing.)
o dominola mea, volo tecum congredi
(My dear lady, I want to come together with you)
pingereque picturam tui.
(And make a picture of you.)
familiares mei me monebant
(My companions were trying to warn me)
sed clunes istae libidinem in me concitant.
(But those buttocks of yours arouse lust in me.)
o! cutis rugosa glabraque! (*2)
(O skin wrinkled and smooth!)
dixistine te in meum vehiculum intrare velle?
(Did you say you wish to enter my vehicle?)
in arbitrio tuo totus veni
(I am entirely at your disposal)
quia non es mediocris adsecula.
(Because you are not an average hanger-on.)
vidi illam saltantem.(*3)
(I have seen her dancing.)
obliviscere igitur blanditiarum! (*3a)
(Forget, therefore, about blandishments!)
tantus sudor! tantus umor!
(Such sweat! Such moisture!)
vehor quasi in curru quadrigarum! (*4)
(I am borne along as if by a four-horse chariot!)
taedet me in diurnis legendi
(I am tired of reading in the gazettes)
planas clunes gratiores iudicari.
(That flat buttocks are judged more pleasing.)
rogate quoslibet Aethiopes: responsum erit
(Ask any black men you wish: the answer will be)
se libentius expletiores (*5) anteponere.
(Rather that they prefer fuller ones.)
o consortes (quid est?) o consortes (quid est?)
(O colleagues [What is it?] O colleagues [What is it?])
habent amicae vestrae magnas clunes? (certe habent!)
(Do your girlfriends have large buttocks? [They certainly have!])
hortamini igitur ut eas quatiant (ut quatiant!)
(Encourage them therefore to shake them! [To shake them!]) ut quatiant! (ut quatiant!)
(To shake them! [To shake them!)
ut quatiant illas clunes sanas!
(To shake those healthy buttocks!)
domina mea exstat a tergo! (*6)
(My mistress stands out behind!)

[Etc.]

_______ (*1) Any apparent connection with flatulence, even in this context, is purely coincidental.
(*2) The original doesn't make much sense either. Is it a cellulite reference? -- ADDENDUM Nov. 14, 2003: The reading of the text here is a problem which has much exercised the scholarly community, with attempts to explain "rumpled smooth skin," or to suggest that it is a pun (a lame one, if you ask me) on Rumplestiltskin. The likeliest reading is "rub her smooth skin" (cutem glabram eius tere [or terere volo]). Now, there are ten pages of comments below, and a great many of them are devoted to this matter. Please familiarize yourself with the status quaestionis before making your own contribution. -- UPDATE 12/9/03: a reader tells us that Sir Mixalot's official site confirms the lyrics "rub all of that smooth skin." I am therefore willing to declare the matter solved, and wish to hear no more of it. Thank you.
(*3) Or saltare?
(*3a) I can find no obvious Latin expression that implies "romantic courtship." -- ADDENDUM 10/14/03: Amores has been suggested, but that can also be used for purely sexual liaisons, which is clearly the goal here, and so not to be thus dismissed.
(*4)All right, how would you say "got it goin' like a Turbo 'Vette"? And what exactly is "goin'" here? I have chosen to understand that the unnamed woman's extraordinary callipygy has inspired a primal response in the narrator, rather than that she "has got it goin' on," i.e., that she "is all that" -- although the later lines (not included here) concerning Fonda's Honda and the speaker's anaconda can, ultimately, be invoked in support of either interpretation. -- ADDENDUM 10/24/03: I have heard from several readers that the music video suggests that this line should rather be interpreted along the lines of "she shakes her posterior most vigorously."
(*5) Or uberiores? Although that's perhaps better reserved for a different fetish.
(*6) This line is not as succinct as the original, to be sure. -- ADDENDUM 10/24/03: I wish I'd said puella here, as domina suggests a power relationship different from the English original.

UPDATE, later that same day: Thanks to Nepenthe for pointing out that the lyrics link I had up here (to letssingit.com, which avoid) led to multiple pop-ups that install software without informing you. I've found one that seems to be pop-up free: but then my browser didn't respond to the other ones, either.

(This means, of course, that I translated a different transcription of the lyrics, and it might not match. Yeah, that's a good explanation.)

[The Spirit Of Allegiance]

Consider: Apparently Adam considered Eve a total babe.

Consider: Democratic women.

Reverse Evolution? Discuss among yourselves, no fair referring to the Laws of Thermodynamics, this is about art.

[sgtbono2002]

I dont know Kylie. i thought J-Lo had the worlds roundest butt.

[michigander]

I can't imagine why....

[Paved Paradise]

I know what you mean.

[Professional Engineer]

of Kylie Minogue (pictured), whose renowned behind is the world’s most popular posterior.

Never heard of her.

[Lokibob]

The GEICO cavemans apartment:
http://www.cavemanscrib.com/

[freedomfiter2]

Wider hips may be an advantage with childbirth.

[devane617]

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/1798568/posts

[Beagle8U]

"Why cavemen liked curvy cavewomen" ?

Because they are so "easy" even a cave man can do them.

[TigersEye]

Am I overreaching or do I detect a note of bitterness between the lines there? ;^P

I added 'godsgravesglyphs' to the keywords and I'll ping SunkenCIV who I believe is the overlord of the GGG pinglist.

[Phsstpok]

I learned this basic truth when it was explained to me why "Rubenesque" women were a representation of the ideal in the middle ages.  Peter Paul Rubens was painting full figured women because it was the current vision of beauty and, like this article, that was based on the type being indicative of "wealth, health and a good diet."  Remember these folks in his time, the 1600s, still had relatively recent memories of the Plague and would still encounter that kind of illness in their normal world.

Fat bottomed girls don't have plague.

For a long time I've been expecting the reemergence of the Rubenesque full figured woman as the ideal as a reaction to the twin horrors of drug abuse and aids.  I think this was a large part of Anna Nicole Smith's original appeal.  Of course, we see how well that has worked out.

I've read analysis that says the reason being a "redneck" was a negative trait, meaning people with a tan or even a sunburn from exposure to the sun, was because that meant those people were manual laborers, while pale skin indicated people who were wealthy enough not to do manual labor.  Now the anorexic (though tanned) look is held up as the ideal for much the same reason, as only wealthy people are presumed to have the funds to go to a gym and work out or lie on the beach at St. Tropez (or in a tanning salon).

[SuziQ]

Makes sense to me. A woman with a bit more meat on her bones likely was perceived to be better able to bear children, and survive to raise them, than her skinny sister cavedweller.

[llevrok]

sophia loren was (is) the ultimate benchmark woman with curves

Her figure would never be popular in today's world of anorexic females with plastic body parts.

[gaijin]

ugly feminists trying to revise history so as to render themselves more "date-able".

[xcamel]

I think this got posted - then pulled.

[Chi-townChief]

Just out of curiosity, who is Kylie Minogue? What is she "known" for??