Burglar captured after losing leg

Daily Bulletin ^ | 4/10/07

[ApplegateRanch]

Whew! From the title and the first half of the first sentence, I was expecting to read that one of his natural legs was actually ripped off by the chain somehow. Glad the story wasn't THAT bloody

No, he learned from the last attempt how not to lose a real leg.

This time, he's learning how to make sure he's strapped the prothesis on properly.

Maybe next time, he'll get it all together.

Practice, practice, practice!

[Grizzled Bear]

But he has the right to be tried by a jury of his peers. I wouldn’t want to be on THAT jury!

“Mr Bear; please put your paw across the stump. This won’t take long...”

[Grizzled Bear]

Unless the bear is in the mood for something fast...

[ApplegateRanch]

These guys apparently did not do good research - most if not all ATMs stolen in this manner over the years are found later abandonded with all the money still inside.

One must be prepaired to crack a safe (internal and very secure) after making off with the ATM box itself - usually bolted to the floor.

This is WHY they are criminals; they are too stupid to hold a job.

About 30 years ago, thieves broke into a business, and made off with a 600+ pound safe, at Riverside, CA. They drove into a nearby orange grove, and proceeded to try cutting it open, shielded from prying eyes by the trees.

Police found it a couple of days later, with the door WELDED SHUT on three sides. ITMT, the owner said that all he had in it were old tax returns etc; no valuables.

Those geniuses didn't know the difference between gas cutting & welding torches.

[ApplegateRanch]

Kneedless to say,

He got a rise out of the cops.

[Semi Civil Servant]

***There has to be a punchline here, but can’t think of one.***

I'm stumped, too.

[nothingnew]

"Barbershop"

FMCDH(BITS)

[The SISU kid]

Something tells me there’s a Blues Song in this story somewhere!

8^)

[Slings and Arrows]

The best gun for protection against bear is a .22 LR pistol. Shoot one of your companions in the leg with the pistol and start running.

[Apologies to whomever I stole that from.]

[Uncle Hal]

I hate when this happens.

[BykrBayb]

Mary Lou got married at a young age. She was nervous about the wedding night, but her mother assured her she could call at any time for advice. Mom had, how shall we say this, a lot of experience with men. There wasn’t a situation she didn’t know how to handle.

So the big night came, and Mary Lou was very nervous. She called her mom several times for advice.

“Mom, we’ve checked into the motel, but I don’t know what to do next.”

“Go into the bathroom, and put on the pretty white nightgown I packed in your luggage.”

A few minutes later, “Mom, I haven’t had the nightgown for five minutes, and he’s trying to take it off me.”

“That’s okay, Honey. He’s supposed to do that. Now you start taking his clothes off.”

As Mary Lou removes his pants, she discovers he has a prosthetic leg. “Mom, I took his pants off, and he only has one foot.”

“Honey, you better let your good old Mom handle this one. I’ll be right over.”

[Chena]

ROFL!!!!!!!!!!

[in the Arena]

The best gun for protection against bear is a .22 LR pistol. Shoot one of your companions in the leg with the pistol and start running.

LOL...I'll have to remember that...

[GSWarrior]

At least he wasn’t arrested for soliciting a prosthetist.

[F.J. Mitchell]

LOL!

[pepperdog]

Your story is even better!

[Slings and Arrows]

:^) It helps to go camping with people you don’t like.

[Slings and Arrows]

Like I told F. J. Mitchell, it helps to go camping with people you don’t like.

[F.J. Mitchell]

Better yet, always camp with people you despise. ;-)

[azhenfud]

Man With Wooden Leg is Stumped in Robbery Attempt