Fun with Pig Phat (Vanity)

The well known mooselimb aversion of anything pork related should be used to our advantage in the Iraq war.

In near modern times the latest instance of which I am aware of this occurring was with Black Jack Pershing and the Islamic insurrection in the Philippines near the turn of the 20th century. Most readers may be familiar with the incident where captured Moro terrorist were executed with bullets dipped in pig fat and their bodies wrapped in pigskin before burial. One Moro terrorist was allowed to live and witness the execution and burials and then released. Suddenly the Moro terrorism stopped and was not repeated in the Philippines for 50 years. I have read of this instance in several different sources over the past 30 years or so.

What I am proposing would be in the nature of a PYSOPS programme. The US military needs to develop several different products for the programme. The first product would be synthetic pork lard. It should smell, taste, look and feel like pork lard so as to be indistinguishable from the real item but contain no real pork. The second product would be miscible oil with the same characteristics. Containers for the items should be marked with official appearing nomenclature such as:

On second thought that may be too obvious and the making should be changed to “Lubricant”. The first product would be used in several ways. After a fire fight open containers if this pseudo pork phat (Triple P) should be left in the area in which the fight occurred. The containers should be open, almost empty or partially so, with the impression of the bullet points in the remaining Triple P. Around this container should be sufficient stripper clips, dropped rounds, and cartridge boxes to indicate activity.

During the same period empty containers of the Triple P should be included in base trash dumps always with plenty of empty cartridge boxes in accompaniment. Also enemy dead could be left on the battlefield with a wad of Triple P smeared on their foreheads (and perhaps another wad of Triple P placed in their mouths).

The miscible oil should be loaded in 55 gallon drums similarly marked. This is then mixed with water and spayed from altitude over the positions of insurgents. Alternately, mortar or artillery round could be devised to deliver the mix to enemy positions with a charge sufficient enough to spread the mix as a vapour over the target area. Enemy prisoners could also be sprayed with the mixture.

Word would have to slowly get to the insurgents via back channels about the US military’s determination that no Islamic fighter must ever be allowed to die without exposure to pig fat.

Of course the true nature of the products would have to be highly classified to prevent any leakage of the true synthetic nature of the products to anyone outside the need-to-know circle.

The effect on the enemy could be astounding in one of two ways: they would be unwilling to fight, or it may enrage the population to the point that we would lose any support that we may have engendered in the mooselimb community.

Why synthetic pork phat? So that when it is all over and done with the true nature of the product could be revealed. This would take the wind out of the sails of those who would cry foul or “War Crime!” Personally, I would rather use the real thing, but in this day and age I’m sure our “sensitive” leaders would blanche at the thought.

Unfortunately, a clearer understanding of the mindset of terrorists would tell you that doing this would not matter to many. THe attitude of the jihadists is that if they die serving their god, Al, that he will see their sacrifice as being greater than the sin of being buried in pig fat.

Only a few would be convinced that the fight isn’t worth it, and the ill will it would create among locals that pig fat is being spread about is not worth the effort.

What we need is for the president to git that Texas grit, spit in Pelousi’s eye and tell congress to back off and that he as CiC will dictate what the military can and cannot do, then tell the military to kick every butt, break down every door, and kill every insurgent at their own discretion. Explain that while he wants them to conduct themselves as representatives of the USA, they are allowed to take any means necessary within the confines of their superior officer to get the job done, and any international law issues will be handled with a good “Up Yours, UN!”.

I advocate the making of a skin cream for non-Muslim women, Christian, Buddhist, Hindu and other, that has either pig fat or some pig substance in it that is not objectionable to those who are vegetarian or do not wish to harm animals, such as urine.

Most importantly, such a skin cream should be advertised in places where Muslims frequently attack non-Muslim women.

The idea is to take maximum advantage of the Muslim aversion to pigs, to persuade them to never physically touch non-Muslims, for fear that they might be “contaminated”.

Of course, since such a product would be quickly outlawed in Muslim countries, large amounts of it should be imported or made locally before it is advertised. If advertising it is prohibited, then information could be spread by word of mouth.

While this is a good gag and an amusing idea, I don’t believe it would work. The concept is based on the mistaken assumption that the Muzzies apply their religious beliefs with any semblance of consistency or logic.

I’m afraid that Sensei Ern is correct.

Gihadists get special dispensation for living and working with infidels, for anything at all that is preached as a deadly sin to the lowly general Moslem sheepulace. IIRC they’ve even received special dispensation for whoring and carousing in order to gain the confidence of the infidels around them at times.

In short: anything at all is forgiveable as long as you’re killing Amnricans. Killing Americans is to them the ultimate rewardable deed which overshadows the punishability inherent in any other ancillary act.

When one’s ideology is not constrained by sanity, amazing levels of flexibility can be achieved.

(see also: Democrat)

In near modern times the latest instance of which I am aware of this occurring was with Black Jack Pershing and the Islamic insurrection in the Philippines near the turn of the 20th century.

Claim: General John J. Pershing effectively discouraged Muslim terrorists in the Philippines by killing them and burying their bodies with pigs.
Status: Undetermined.

http://www.snopes.com/rumors/pershing.htm

(snip)

The history of the American administration of the Philippines between the Spanish cession of the islands at the conclusion of the Spanish-American war in 1898 and the attainment of full political independence in 1946 — including American attempts to “pacify” various independence-minded groups through military means — is too long and complicated to explicate here. Suffice it to say that General John J. “Black Jack” Pershing was part of the process as Governor of the troublesome Moro Province between 1909 and 1913. We haven’t yet found any references to this alleged incident in Pershing biographies, however, nor does it match the way Pershing is generally recorded as having dealt with the Moros in 1911. When they refused to obey Pershing’s order banning firearms by surrendering their weapons, his response was to draft a letter to the Moros expressing sorrow that his soldiers had to resort to killing to enforce the order:

I write you this letter because I am sorry to know that you and your people refuse to do what the government has ordered. You do not give up your arms. Soldiers were sent to Taglibi so that you could come into camp and turn in your guns. When the soldiers went to camp a Taglibi, your Moros fired into camp and tried to kill the soldiers. Then the soldiers had to shoot all Moros who fired upon them. When the soldiers marched through the country, the Moros again shot at them, so the soldiers had to kill several others. I am sorry the soldiers had to kill any Moros. All Moros are the same to me as my children and no father wants to kill his own children . . .
When negotiations stalled and matters came to a head, Pershing was still reluctant to be responsible for any more loss of life than was necessary:

[Vandiver, 1977]
[Pershing] went to his offices on [14 December 1911] only to hear a message from the Sulu district governor: hundreds of hostiles gathered on Jolo’s Bud Dajo! The message had dread portent. Mount Dajo, awesomely high and capped with the creater of an extinct volcano, meant sacred things to Moros. It was the refuge against fate, the last bastion of the hopeless, the place where their ancestors stood off great waves of enemies. Once on the mountain, esconced in its big cotta, Moros would die gladly, as Leonard Wood had grimly learned. Retreat to Dajo meant a clear declaration of war.

Sobered and depressed, Jack wrote of an overriding worry: “I am sorry these Moros are such fools, but . . . I shall lose as few men and kill as few Moros as possible.” Memories of Wood’s massacre of men and families on Dajo rankled in the army and still bothered the chief of staff. Obviously another such slaughter in the winter of 1911 could adversely influence the 1912 elections in the States.

Pershing’s strategy was to surround the Moros and wait them out while attempting to induce them to surrender, a strategy that worked effectively: the Bud Dajo campaign ended with only twelve Moro casualties. But in his report Pershing seemed keenly aware that the best approach was not to take any action that would encourage religious fanaticism:

There was never a moment during this investment of Bud Dajo when the Moros, including women, on top of the mountain, would not have fought to the death had they been given the opportunity. They had gone there to make a last stand on this, their sacred mountain, and they were determined to die fighting . . . It was only by the greatest effort that their solid determination to fight it out could be broken. The fact is that they were completely surprised at the prompt and decisive action of the troops in cutting off supplies and preventing escape, and they were chagrined and disappointed in that they were not encouraged to die the death of Mohammedan fanatics.
(snip)

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.