'War Stories' Have Some Facing Prison

The Oklahoman (via Military.com) ^ | August 18, 2008 | unsigned

[trumandogz]

With a name like John Smith, you have to find away to separate yourself from the rest.

[colorado tanker]

And POWs, which is a grievous error considering that the list of real POWs is quickly available via the POW Network and elsewhere.

And Medal of Honor winners. Those impostors are so easily caught.

[Joe 6-pack]

"Anyone with a military ID card can walk into any base uniform shop and walk out with a bunch of ribbons and any special qualification badges."

In the Army we called them "PX Rangers".

[Riley]

Years ago I worked at a place that sold, amongst other things, military collectibles. Some of the jokers who walked in claiming to 'want to put their old uniform back together' had to be 'helped' to identify their old rank insignia. They had no idea what units they belonged to- and bouncing a little jargon off of them to probe their authenticity elicited the expected embarrassed blank stare. One dude claimed to have been a sniper working the Ho Chi Minh trail- FROM SAIGON. Not 'based out of', but firing position IN SAIGON. I couldn't resist asking if he was using a scoped railroad gun.
The owner said 'just smile and take their money'.

Turned out the owner had significantly inflated his own service claims as well, so I see why he held that position.

[beelzepug]

With summer whites, you wear white shoes!

Surely not after Labor Day? My gawd!

[stockstrader]

But did any of their ‘made up stories’ get them three Purple Hearts? It worked for John Kerry.

[Tax-chick]

Never heard of an impostor claiming to have served in the Quartermaster Corps. :-))

I was a typist for the Army Corps of Engineers!

[Graybeard58]

That does it! I'm returning my Good Conduct Ribbon.

(I wasn't that good)

[Riley]

That does it! I'm returning my Good Conduct Ribbon.

I managed to screw myself out of mine. :-)

[Cyman]

I had a world history teacher in high school that told every class about how he had sunk a Jap sub with a shot from his 45 into the sub’s periscope. Every class would wait for his story. Obviously no one believed it but it would crack up the kids and the Marianist brothers and other teachers.

[colorado tanker]

Hey, not that I have anything against the support branches. I really liked getting paid, hot meals, someone to fix the tanks when we broke them, that sorta stuff . . . . :-))

[Interesting Times]

Ah, yes. The old “sinking a sub with a shot into the periscope trick.”

[Tax-chick]

You made a good observation, really. It’s like the way that nobody ever claims to be the reincarnation of a hog farmer who died from trichinosis at age 19. Why fake something that’s as boring as your real life?

[Riley]

I had a Drivers Ed teacher who’d been at the Metz in World War Two, clearing Germans out of tunnels with a flamethrower. He alluded to it a couple of times. One day he started talking about it, and ended up openly weeping in the classroom.

The class was in the early Seventies. It’d obviously been eating him alive since 1944-45.

God bless and keep you Mr. R, wherever you are.

[Bob]

That does it! I'm returning my Good Conduct Ribbon.

I always refer to mine as my "Didn't Get Caught Ribbon". :=)

[HANG THE EXPENSE]

You know he was there.

[WOBBLY BOB]

As a 101st vet, I know where he can get a heaping helping of ass kicking.

I can give him the date,time, and Legion address.

[Figment]

I know one who constantly talks of being at Khe Sahn. I know he wasn’t because he is a couple of years too young. Know any way to check that besides age?The guy actually was in the Corps

[Ed Condon]

That should be “Good conduct Medal”.

[Graybeard58]

I never saw a medal, all I got was the ribbon.