Posted on 08/20/2015 8:13:10 AM PDT by HomerBohn
This story is not satire. According to a study funded by the National Institutes of Health and awarded to a Boston hospital for more than $1.5 million, some mysterious phenomenon is covertly making lesbians obese, in apparent violation of the dietary laws of cause and effect.
For now, I'm calling this phenomenon "obesity gremlins," and here's how a NIH-funded study describes this extraordinary mystery:
It is now well-established that women of minority sexual orientation are disproportionately affected by the obesity epidemic, with nearly three-quarters of adult lesbians overweight or obese, compared to half of heterosexual women.
So let me get this straight.
Some lesbians are sitting around minding their own business, when all of a sudden, out of the blue, an "obesity epidemic" strikes them, force-feeding them French Fries (or whatever) until they're obese, and then this mysterious force presumably moves on to some other targeted group, right?
Astonishingly, the NIH is describing how lesbians are being made obese without having any role whatsoever in the process!
Dietary cause and effect was never considered by scientific researchers Just to clarify how all this language is being parsed, allow me to explain the obvious:
If you are sitting in a city park and are suddenly impacted by, let's say, a golf ball, then you have just been impacted by an outside force completely out of your control. But if you are sitting in front of a Golden Corral buffet, stuffing your face with genetically modified macaroni and cheese grub, then you are not "affected" by an "epidemic." Nope, you made yourself obese by overeating!
Of course, this idea that any individual should be held responsible for their own actions is completely disavowed across both the medical community as well as the pathetic pop culture of victimization that has overtaken American culture. Now, even when people do things to themselves (or make bad decisions leading to results they don't want), it's somehow never their own fault. How could it be?
According to the rigorous scientific thinking at the NIH, some outside force is "affecting" the lesbians and making them obese in some sort of occult way that apparently violates the laws of cause and effect. The obesity epidemic has STRUCK them, didn't you know? It's kind of like being struck by lightning, but it involves a barrage of pizzas and chocolate truffles instead of really bright flashes of light.
Now, I don't have anything in particular against lesbians, mind you. I'm on the record stating that people's sexual orientation is their own private business. In fact, so is their own body weight, and there's nothing wrong with carrying a few extra pounds around if you're happy about who you are (I'm not some sort of slim & fit exercise Nazi). But now, thanks to the NIH, I'm really, really worried that obesity gremlins are able to somehow sniff out sexual orientation among crowds and they're using that knowledge to target the lesbians!
That seems homophobic to me. Entirely politically incorrect. Damn you, mysterious gremlins!
NIH-funded medical scientists are determined to uncover the cosmic mystery of what might possibly be making people obese The other thing that really concerns me is how these gremlins are able to make these lesbians obese without involving them at all. The NIH study seems downright mystified as to what might cause lesbians to become obese:
Despite clear evidence from descriptive epidemiologic research that sexual orientation and gender markedly pattern obesity disparities, there is almost no prospective, analytic epidemiologic research into the causes of these disparities.
NO RESEARCH? What are we to do? Fortunately, the federal government is determined to get to the bottom of this great cosmic mystery:
It will be impossible to develop evidence-based preventive interventions unless we first answer basic questions about causal pathways, as we plan to do.
Whew! Thank goodness the search for those lesbian-targeting obesity gremlins has now begun! With a few billion dollars in funding, we might finally be able to get to the bottom of this and nail down whatever mysterious causes might be causing lesbians to gain weight.
Rigorous science to the rescue! Oh, and just to make sure you fully realize this study is all "sciencey and s##t" here's the full explanation of how they're going to figure this out:
We will rigorously test our innovative gendered biopsychosocial model to explain sexual orientation disparities in obesity with prospective, repeated measures survey data and biological data from three national youth cohorts.
Of course they are! Because the simple explanation that "maybe lesbians are just eating too much crappy food all the time" wouldn't generate millions of dollars in government grant money, would it?
Those struggling with a hunger disorder have “strategies”.I have my strategies, too. If I didn't, I wouldn't have been one of the 5% who lose weight and manage to stay within the normal weight range for their height.
Personally,...I am very encouraged by the work being done on gut bacteria. Finally! There may soon be a low cost and non-invasive treatment to correct the problem.
Please read the link to the Scientific American article that I provided.
Try adding the protein and see if it works for you. It did for me.
Oooooooooooooooh!! Twinkie gets treated like someone who does not matter!!! Twinkie is HURT!!! I mean, Twinkie’s feelings are hurt ! Boo Hoo! - Yours truly, Twinkie King
PS - I think you KNEW that was going to hurt Twinkie’s feelings!!
The high numbers of C-Sections and antibiotics ( given to people and animals) may explain the relatively sudden increase in obesity in the U.S.
Research on gut bacteria is proving to be **very** encouraging. Finally, there may soon be a low cost, low-tech, and non-surgical treatment for hunger disorders.
Makes Teresenstadt look like a normal butcher’s display.
They’re breath after lovemaking would stop a razorback hog.
God is not mocked.
they’re=their
I think the cause is obvious. Women who are obese are not very attractive to most men, so they can’t get dates, so they become lesbians, because they are desperate for companionship and lesbians are not as picky.
Even though those with normal levels of hunger hormones don't ever even think about any strategy, those of us who do must find ways of coping.
Twinkie, you’re a ..................... twinkie....................
Interesting. Thanks for the link.
In my retirement, I decided to take courses at our local community college which occupies a building that was once a high school. Recently, they posted photos of the high school from the 1930s.
My observation: Not even **one** student or adult in any of the photos of that high school was even a little bit overweight. Easily half of the current students in the ( now) community community college are either overweight or obese.
Yes, there are changes in diet and excercise, but there have also been changes in the rate of C-Sections. In the 1930s there were no antibiotics in the early childhood of any of these teens and adults. ( I would have to look up to see if there were sulfa drugs).
Actually, not all lesbians are fat and ugly. I’ve known quite a few who are what I would call drop-dead gorgeous. Beautiful, thin, and quite nice. Who knows what causes them to choose that life style but it’s not for lack of potential male suitors.
Did it ever occur to these rocket scientist that having their own zip code is what caused them to be lesbians in the first place?
“Not even **one** student or adult in any of the photos of that high school was even a little bit overweight.”
I have noticed this also. Watch the real old movies. Lean people, and those that look overweight are almost what we consider normal today.
I think there have been studies showing food portions have gotten a lot larger since back then. Not sure which is causal; larger portions giving to larger people, or larger people needing larger portions.
I'd pay for that research project.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.