[yldstrk]

I lecture these people all the time, your new boyfriend does NOT take precedence over your kids. You new boyfriend/girlfriend does NOT form a new family despite what your therapist says, that child was there first and comes first. Your new boyfriend/girlfriend does NOT get to discipline your child. Tell them to keep their mitts off or you will walk.

Poor defenseless baby.

[Lurker]

How awful.

L

[Toespi]

The bio dad said he had talked to authorities past year trying to tell them it was an unfit home. As usual, Children’s Services let the child down. The worthless bleeding heart MSW/social workers rarely do their jobs and children die.

[Qiviut]

We used to get Dr. Laura on the radio in my area, but not any more (too bad). I was really struck by her attitude on divorced people dating who had minor kids. She says raising kids is the #1 priority and your love life needs to take a back seat until the kids are 18. There's a lot of wisdom in that, especially when you see kids being molested/abused/ killed by boyfriends, etc. Unfortunately, having/keeping a boyfriend is often the priority rather than being a other to the kids and shacking up has become socially acceptable. If you do meet someone, her advice was not to introduce them to the kids until you reached a very serious stage (such as becoming engaged) rather than hopping on the roller coaster of dragging every boyfriend/girlfriend through the door to meet the kids. Many find Dr. Laura's approach draconian, but as an example of how it can work, here's a letter from one mom who is doing it the Dr. Laura way:

Here is the best advice I ever received when divorcing 12 years ago, when my two boys were 1 and 3 years old: Don't date, they are already down one parent. The revolving door of significant others just exacerbates their sense of loss in relationships, which will affect how they choose their potential mates in the future. Then I looked at my soon to be ex-stepdaughter, age 10, and realized that she had had 6+ adults in her life between her parents' love lives. I don't date. My boys' are not at risk for abuse of any kind and they have no drama. My boys are now 13 and 16 and have a solid home life. They have male mentors through the Partners Program. They may not know a typical family unit with two parents, but they know stability and consistency. My love life will begin in 5 years when my youngest goes to college! Until then, I go out with my friends every now and then and bother my teenagers knowing where they are and who they are hanging with. Life is good. May they choose better than I did, as they see the repercussions of not choosing wisely.

[Ambrosia]

I couldn’t agree more!

[CAluvdubya]

I lecture these people all the time, your new boyfriend does NOT take precedence over your kids. You new boyfriend/girlfriend does NOT form a new family despite what your therapist says, that child was there first and comes first. Your new boyfriend/girlfriend does NOT get to discipline your child. Tell them to keep their mitts off or you will walk.

You are so right! I tried to tell this to my niece 15 years ago.....her children come first! Don't date until they are grown. Don't bring men into your home, around your small children! She didn't listen.

She brought in two, (yes, she didn't learn her lesson after the first time) men that beat the crap out of her and did who knows what to her children (I suspect sexual assault/abuse/rape).

One of those children, the eldest, decided she's a male and has many problems (she now looks like Cher's kid) and I'm the bad guy because I tried to warn them.