I've seen unmarried, bitter women of a certain age like the one the picture with the article.
Posted on 11/29/2018 12:54:27 PM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Every Wednesday, the second hour of my national radio show is the “Male/Female Hour.” A few weeks ago, a woman named Jennifer called in.
For reasons of space, I have somewhat shortened her comments. Every young woman should read them. This is precisely what she said:
“Dennis, I want to get right to it. I’m 50 years old with four college degrees. I was raised by a feminist mother with no father in the home. My mother told me get an education to the maximum level so that you can get out in the world, make a lot of money. And that’s the path I followed. I make adequate money. I don’t make a ton of money. But I do make enough to support my own household.
“I want to tell women in their 20s: Do not follow the path that I followed. You are leading yourself to a life of loneliness. All of your friends will be getting married and having children, and you’re working to compete in the world, and what you’re doing is competing with men. Men don’t like competitors. Men want a partner. It took me until my late 40s to realize this.
“And by the time you have your own household with all your own bills, you can’t get off that track, because now you’ve got to make the money to pay your bills. It’s hard to find a partner in your late 40s to date because you also start losing self-confidence about your looks, your body. It’s not the same as it was in your 20s. You try to do what you can to make your life fulfilling. I have cats and dogs. But it’s lonely when you see your friends having children, going on vacations, planning the lives of their children, and you don’t do anything at night but come home to your cats and dogs. I don’t want other women to do what I have done.”
I asked, “Was it hard for you to make this call?”
She responded: “It was. I want to be anonymous because I don’t want people that I know to really know my true feelings. Because you do act like ‘My career is everything. I love working.’ But it’s a lie on the inside for me. It’s unfortunate. I didn’t realize this until it’s too late. I don’t know if it’s too late. I would like to find somebody to go on vacation with.
“You have other concerns when you get older and you live alone. Who’s going to take you to your medical appointments? If something should happen to you, there’s no other income there to help you. These are things you don’t understand when you’re in your 20s because you don’t think you’ll ever get old and have health problems.
“I’m stuck now because I go to work every day. I smile like I love it, but it’s very painful to not plan a vacation with someone. It’s painful to not have a Thanksgiving dinner with someone. You sit home alone and you do nothing. I avoid my friends now that have children because I have nothing in common with them.
“Somebody asked me the other day, ‘Why did you stay single and never have kids?’ There’s answers: Because I was brainwashed by my mother into this. But it’s hard and it’s shameful to tell people, ‘I don’t know. I ran out of time.’
“There’s not a good answer for it except: ‘I was programmed to get into the workforce, compete with men, and make money.’ Supposedly, that would be a fulfilling life. But I was told that by a feminist mother who was divorced, who hated her husband—my father.
“She tried to steer me on what she thought was the right path, but feminism is a lie. That’s what I want women to know.
“I didn’t realize this until late in life. I want to tell women: Find someone in your 20s. That’s when you’re still very cute. That’s when you’re still amiable to working out problems with someone. It’s harder in your 50s, when you’ve lived alone, to compromise with someone, to have someone in your home and every little thing about them annoys you because you’re so used to being alone. It’s hard to undo that, so don’t do what I did. Find someone in your 20s.”
I said, “I’m thinking of transcribing your call and making it a column.”
“Do that, Dennis. I want to help whoever I can,” she said.
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So which cat is your favorite?
I've seen unmarried, bitter women of a certain age like the one the picture with the article.
Up to a point, that is true. But when you're in your 50s, every letter costs you 10 grand a year, when you're in the unemployment line.
Another pro-tip: Women don’t want to compete either. They want partners too.
It could be a typo the editor missed.
Listen to your family, friends and those your admire and take their counsel under advisement. And then follow your own instincts. Nobody knows you better than you.
There's a reason folks get together and partner, whether through conventional marriage or just living together. Most people want companionship. Whether it's through love or friendship, having a companion to share your life with is important to our mental health.
Never be afraid to switch careers or life paths along the way. This is not dress rehearsal. This is it. It's better to aim, shoot and then readjust your sights if you have to than it is to spend all your life aiming, aiming, aiming, aiming hoping to hit the bullseye but then never pull the trigger.
A boss years ago gave me some advice for my first sales job, selling mortgage loans. Do what you think is right. Don't let the fear of making a mistake hold you back. If you're not making mistakes, I'll know you're not doing anything.
I hope this lady can readjust her lifestyle and make a course correction. And find that companion she wants to take a vacation with. Being lonely is a sad thing for many people.
I just have one, and she doesn't complain nearly as much as the guys around here seem to be doing.
“I only have two degrees, undergrad and MBA. I’m also 38, female, single, never married, never wanted to be married, and quite content with my life. And I don’t need to lectured by this woman on the mistakes she thinks she made. That’s fine for her, it’s not the same for everyone else.”
If you throw rocks into a pack of dogs, the one that yelps is the one that’s been hit.
And I’m perfectly happy. I can go on international vacations whenever the fancy strikes me. My time is my own. I have friends with similar interests. While most of them are single and childless one close friend does have a couple of kids. It doesn’t keep us from interacting on a regular basis.
And yes, I have a cat. :-)
Marriage and kids aren’t for everyone.
You can always not report the excess letters, so you won’t be ‘overqualified’.....................
“Marriage and kids aren’t for everyone.”
I respect that. In fact, you point out what you like about your choice, and you sound very happy. Good for you.
Here’s the problem as I see it. We as men (I’m 58) have been raised with hearing these arguments and that women are equal. So you find a woman and things progress to marriage and then you start to hear from the woman that she need to stay home...
What happened to the equal thing? Now you want to put it all on my shoulders so you can sit around and do nothing all day and then when I get home order me about. You want vacations, then work to pay for it. You want a new car, then work to pay for it. I’m sorry but that’s how I’ve come to feel.
And if you start dating woman in her 40’s, then that is her secret plan, get married and then “retire” while you work the next 25 plus years...
“Marriage and kids aren’t for everyone.”
That is true, and for women who are natured like you, they finally got the choice to live your way and support themselves with high-paying jobs if they achieved at a high level, as opposed to having their career choices limited as they used to be. For example, if a woman wants to be a 747 pilot, she can go for the job. She used to be told she could not pursue such work.
The woman in the article is now unhappy with her choices at age 50, but any number of women who made similar choices are not unhappy.
Yeah, the subject of marriage does seem to raise a lot of Freeper guys' dander. Especially the divorced ones.
I wonder what percentage of aging spinsters are happy?
Probably more than you realize. Some people are just loners and prefer being on their own most of the time.
There is a life cycle to being a woman and the happiest women are respectful if their lifecycles.
Both of my Millenial daughters are happily married.
But I’ve got to admit, I am happy that they got their educations and started careers first. Marriage is nowhere near as stable as it used to be, and if the worst happens I want to know that they’ll be able to provide for themselves.
We've got a lot of complaining to do, to catch up to you gals lol.
After decades of being harassed, denigrated and discriminated-against by feminists of all stripes, as a man all can say is “tough ti**ie”. You made you bed, lie in it (by your self).
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