"Step right up, ladies and gentlemen. A caring person such as yourself wouldn't want his or her loved ones to be at the mercy of a rogue planet lurking in our solar system, now would you? Of course not; no sane intelligent person would. So, for a short time only, I can offer you a special one-time-only deal on our Gryo-magnetic Pulse-a-tronic Rogue Planet Deflector™, built with loving care by our team of technical wizards and defrocked Medvedian scientists in our secret production facility in Kankakee, Ill., for only $29.95.That's right; $29.95! Why it's a pittance to pay for the peace of mind you'll feel when you know your loved ones (and their every yawning bodily orifice) are being protected by the original Gryo-magnetic Pulse-a-tronic Rogue Planet Deflector™.
And, as a special incentive, if you order before midnight tonight, we'll throw-in a Bozotronic™ Alien Life Form Detector, useful for keeping track of lurking Space Aliens and Angorra-Wearing Cross-dressers, for FREE! That's right, the Bozotronic™ Alien Life Form Detector is absolutely FREE if you order your Gryo-magnetic Pulse-a-tronic Rogue Planet Deflector™ before midnight tonite.
So, don't spend another day worring about your loved ones and the sanctity of your precious bodily fluids, order your Gryo-magnetic Pulse-a-tronic Rogue Planet Deflector™ NOW! Operators are standing by! Don't delay until it is too late! Call Midnight Space Supply now at: 1-800-RIP-ME-OFF. Quantities are limited!"
(all sales are final. In God we Trust -- all other pay cash.)
Isn't the Bozotronic Mark II on the market yet?
You sure that Gryo-magnetic Pulse-a-tronic Rogue Planet Deflector™ - thingie really works??? Better order-up quick!