Crumbling Brickyard [Does anyone care about the 500 anymore?]

espn.go.com ^ | 5/23/03 | Jim Armstrong

[foreverfree]

Friday, May 23, 2003

Crumbling Brickyard

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By Jim Armstrong

Special to Page 2

Gentlemen, start your apathy.

And since, outside of Hootie Johnson's house, we're all one big, gender-equal, happy family, you can, too, ladies. Ignore the Indy 500, that is.

There was a time not so long ago when Indy had more It than the Addams family tree. The Battle at the Brickyard was as ingrained in American culture as rock 'n' roll, backseat makeout sessions at the drive-in and church on Sunday. Memorial Day weekends were reserved for Indy, double-headers, SPF 8, and backyard burgers and brewskis.

In the immortal words of Roberto "Steak, It's What's for Quitters" Duran, no mas. The Sunday before Memorial Day has turned into a good day to mow the lawn. Elvis is dead, Raquel Welch has her AARP card and Indy is yesterday's news. It still has the roar, but it's lost the buzz.

Granted, my interest in auto racing is fleeting at best. For that matter, my interest in autos is pretty much fleeting. I want the damn thing to start in mid-January and not blow up in mid-July. I couldn't find the carburetor if my life depended on it, and I use Visa, not Valvoline, for all my oil changes.

To me, a tranny is a guy wearing a dress on a dark street corner, not some accident waiting to happen under the hood. Heck, I only pump my own gas because they make me. That, plus I want to get out of there ASAP since you never know who's lurking around the lugnuts at those places these days.

But then, that's the point. Back in the day, even I cared about Indy. For one day a year, it was something you did, like putting on the storm windows. For that one day, A.J. Foyt, Mario Andretti and the Unser boys were larger than life. Or at least bigger than Hank Aaron or Tom Seaver. Even those of us who didn't know the second thing about auto racing -- most of us could figure out the go-fast, turn-left thing -- watched Indy.

Let me guess. You're going to be busy doing something else on Sunday. I hear ya, dude. It makes me a little sad to admit it, but I could care less about Indy these days. It's one big blur to me, kind of like J-Lo's last marriage. They tell me the pole sitter is some guy named Helio Castroneves. Might as well be Julio Iglesias or Chico Esquela. I'd rather watch men's tennis, which hasn't been worth watching since Andre Agassi needed a haircut.

Is Gomer Pyle going to sing "Back Home in Indiana" before the race? Beats me. I haven't watched Indy for years and, judging from all the empty seats at the practice runs, I'm not alone. Indy is about as hip as Abba, as hot as Janet Reno, and as relevant as Gary Hart. Disco made a comeback, but Indy is gone for good, drowned in the mainstream of American consciousness.

There are those, of course, who believe race-car industry leaders have no one to blame but themselves. The 1996 IRL-CART spat turned into the nastiest divorce since The Donald and Ivana split up Boardwalk and Park Place. Before the breakup, Indy was the Yankees. It got all the best players, because it had all the money. In the aftermath of the breakup, the race was reduced to medium-market status -- not second rate, but not first class, either.

I don't necessarily buy that argument. Sure, the IRL-CART dispute didn't help matters, but it's only part of the reason for Indy's demise. To paraphrase Otter when he meets Mrs. Wormer in the grocery store, I've got a bigger one. It's called NASCAR, which, as often as not these days, precedes the word rocks and an exclamation point or two.

You'll notice NASCAR's explosion in popularity has coincided with the IRL-CART fallout. But it's more than that, more than finding a convenient void to fill in people's pastime habits. Indy's problem is that it's still your father's Indy 500. It happens once a year, which is once more than it's promoted. Opening the gates and revving up the engines isn't enough anymore. With everything out there on the sports/entertainment landscape, it's easier than ever to get overlooked.

Then there's NASCAR, whose drivers have evolved into genuine American folk heroes, thanks in large part to a well-oiled marketing machine. Jeff Gordon, his buddy Ernie, and his other buddy Ernie have been meticulously molded and tightly packaged by Madison Avenue to the point where you wonder how stock-car racing was ever just a Southern thing in the first place. These days, NASCAR is about as popular in Dayton as it is at Daytona.

Not that I watch much of it, of course. IRL, CART, NASCAR, it's all alphabet soup to me. Which brings us to Sunday. I don't know about you, but I'm going to take a long nap.

Jim Armstrong, a sports columnist for the Denver Post, is a regular contributor to Page 2.

[foreverfree]

I don't know about you, but I'm going to take a long nap.

I did. After watching the race. Not out of boredom (I watched virtually all of the race except for the first part [because I was coming home from church]), just tedium.

foreverfree

[ladyinred]

I watched the Indy as I always do. I find it exciting, and entertaining, and I wish I could be there! When the winner was interviewed afterward, I cried along with him! Call me nuts, but I loved it!

[montomike]

Great race. I enjoyed the heck out of it. Love to see them hit the wall and walk away. Did you see the one a couple of years ago where the two women in the race put each other out? Hadda love that one. Indy used to be the spectacle of open wheel auto racing but greed and feuding got in the way. I would have loved to see Michael Andretti win it but was not to be.

[Wacka]

While on business in Indy, I took the tour of the Brickyard with a female co-worker in October one year. There were two teams testing new motors for their cars. She said "I don't know anything about auto racing, but this is really cool". Seeing the place in person is amazing. A lot of people don't know that there is a museum and part of a golf course in the infield! You don't realize how fast the cars are until you see them in person. They took 38 seconds to circle the 2.5 mile track which translates to about 235 mph! I can just imagine the electricity with 550-400K people there.

[singletrack]

Indy rocks. Always did (minus 2 or 3 years) always will.Open wheels, like F1, surrounded by walls, like NASCAR.No rubbin', no bumpin'.Did you notice no complaints about a WOMAN in the field? Golf could learn from Indy.

[Alberta's Child]

I hate to break it to Mr. Armstrong, but NASCAR is gearing up for a monumental collapse as well. They've taken a sport with deep roots in the American South and turned it into a Hollywood extravaganza, and it is only going to hold the interest of casual sports fans for so long.

It's bad enough that they now race in Las Vegas -- when they stopped racing at legendary NASCAR venues like North Wilkesboro, N.C., they pretty much lost their roots.

[Servant of the Nine]

It was today?

I guess I'm with the author. I have seen every televised Indy 500 until 2 years ago when it didn't seem woth remembering to change from CSPAN to catch it.

So9

[ladyinred]

I was so hoping, and have been for years to see a female finally win the Indy! My hubby feels the same way, and she seemed to be respected by all the other drivers and the announcers alike!

[nightdriver]

"The 1996 IRL-CART spat turned into the nastiest divorce since The Donald and Ivana split up Boardwalk and Park Place."

This split was a factor, all right, but only one.

The Indy also got passed up by technology. In the late '60s, Andy Granatelli brought forth a new concept - a car driven by a gas turbine engine. It had 4-wheel drive and a lot more power than anything else in the field. Insead of getting 2 miles to the gallon, it got more like 6 and the fuel was kerosene which was much safer than the alky fuels the other cars used.

Trouble was that, among other things, it didn't SOUND like a racer. You could hardly hear it going by, so they had to impose rules that restricted them so much that they were uncompeitive.

Later, they had to put restrictions on the regular engines too, so the race just doesn't have the interest and innovation that it could have.

I'm sorry to see the race fade.

[steve86]

I went to an open wheel sprint car race on a half-mile paved tri-oval last night. These cars approach 125 MPH and 14 second laps on the half mile track which subjectively seems "faster" for the circumstances than the IRL cars going 230 MPH on a track 5 times as long! Plus you can freely walk through the pits and talk to the drivers after the main (don't know if the Brickyard allows that!).

[Bernard Marx]

Memorial Day is an American holiday to honor our war dead. Indy used to be an American event that coincided with the Memorial Day tradition.

I'm not a xenophobe but I have a little trouble getting excited about Indy drivers from foreign countries. A Brazilian won today, and that's fine. It's an international race. But it used to be wholly American and if I have my druthers I'll watch the Good Ole Boys of Nascar until it, too, becomes a multicultural event.

[gcruse]

Ah, shoot, did I miss it? Tarnation.

[bellevuesbest]

Used to be a big day listening to the radio to follow Parnelli Jones.

[Russell Scott]

Take the top five drivers from F1, CART, IRL, NASCAR, and World Rally, then you got something. Like boxing, auto racing has been diluted by money and politics.

[hoosiermama]

Favorite memory of the 500. One of the "FANS?" had lost his car. He explained to his wife: I know exactly were I parked it! Directly under the Goodyear blimp!" Oh, the good ol' days!

[discostu]

Once NASCAR got over 200 Indy lost it's glamor. Then the IRL/ CART war started splitting the audience. Finally came a series of 500s delayed by rain and the whole thing got postponed right out of America's hive mind. Now an Andretti is racing NASCAR and that says it all.

[Billthedrill]

I agree with you - it was the restrictions that killed the race. But some of these were perfectly understandable - it is, after all, a very small oval by 250+mph standards and it's built on top of REAL bricks. Either you restrict the technology to keep it on the course - literally - or you change the course to keep up with the technology. To a degree that is what NASCAR has done.

[poundsand]

I never used to miss it. But with the Cart/IRL debacle, with AJ rambling on about non-Americans winning the race and the fact that it was getting too expensive to run cars there, they have taken the race out of the race. AJ destroyed the whole thing. I actually forgot it was on today. My only passing interest anymore is hoping for Michael to finally win one. I guess it was not to be yet again.

AJ Foyt personally destroyed the thing. Now the IRL is simply boring with all the restrictions they have, and CART won't race on a track where you can pass.

[poundsand]

I never used to miss it. But with the Cart/IRL debacle, with AJ rambling on about non-Americans winning the race and the fact that it was getting too expensive to run cars there, they have taken the race out of the race. AJ destroyed the whole thing. I actually forgot it was on today. My only passing interest anymore is hoping for Michael to finally win one. I guess it was not to be yet again.

AJ Foyt personally destroyed the thing. Now the IRL is simply boring with all the restrictions they have, and CART won't race on a track where you can pass.

[solitas]

'The Race' is still good - depending upon how you look at it; or don't. _I_ remember listening to it on the radio and loving it (it's been YEARS; do they even broadcast it any more?). Watching it is totally another matter and the Awful Broadcasting Company doesn't do it any favors. We don't NEED fancy graphics, commercials every 17.21397 seconds, and all the material thats part-and-parcel with the 'vidiot generation'. No more than you need to WATCH a baseball game when you have a competent individual calling the game for you. Play the track announcer instead; we'll 'manage to survive' having to do without the 'lens lice' that enjoy seeing themselves in their monitors.

Hey ABCDisney: why don't you PUT the track announcer on your SAP feed (secondary audio program) next year and GIVE US THE CHOICE?!?! Then take a survey after the race and you'll be pleasantly surprised how much you can save in unnecessary salaries for the 2005 race. :)

Let's see: "...go like heck, turn left, repeat..." Okay, got it. There's only SO MUCH you can DO to 'hump up' a format like that with video (even with 13,287 cameras showing us everything except the second stall from the left in the ladies' bathroom in the museum). But it was nice to see that Mari Hulman is still up and around and that Jim Neighbors is looking well.

Having three weeks of foolishness leading up to it (qualifying, bump, bubble, whatever) burns you out before the race gets here. Formula One qualifies the day before and races the same cars the next day - AND they don't fill up the car in-between: the tank you qualify with is the tank you start with (the more you use, the more you lose). Then you can go and stop and fill up ANY time you like after the flag drops. :)

The Professionals do STANDING STARTS too. Did you SEE that start today? Strung-out halfway around the track, irregular groups of three, at racing-speed coming OUT of the 4th turn. And for a race that finishes 1/2/3/etc... For a TIMED race (remember those? ever watch 'em?) something like that works, but not for a 'finish line' race. Disgusting.

For 'racing's greatest spectacle' (kind of like the way 9/11 was 'terrorism's greatest spectacle' - MEANING NO DISRESPECT TO THOSE INVOLVED/AFFECTED BY THAT TRAGEDY; I merely use it as an illustrative device and i refuse to use the term 'greatest spectacle in racing') there's a LOT that COULD be done to return it to the glory it used to command.

My 2¢ worth,
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