The Perils of Peekaboo America's teen peep show: Has 'slutware' gone too far?

SF Chronicle ^ | Sunday, July 27, 2003 | J.A. Getzlaff

[Redcloak]

I noticed that too. I thought, from the title, that this was going to be about a new computer game.

[cspackler]

How do you fight the constant campaign of TV commercials? How do you convince a little girl that her dady is not a nerd?

She doesn't watch much TV, but does a little. She does jump on the commercials with the "I want that" type of responses. We just deal with each one as they come up and make her understand all of the basics about life. It's amazing how, if you say things and back them up with action and example, how thier little sponge heads just kinda pick it up. It's a battle to keep the consistent message and make her "earn" the things that she gets, but it pays off in the long run.

When she goes to bed at night (at pretty much the same time), all of her toys are picked up. It's just part of the routine now, as much of the game as anything else.

It's much easier to spend the $1.99 in the store to make them happy than it is to say "no", but you just have to or you are doomed. I have to stay on my wife about it, but all is going pertty well. Average that all out with spending as much time playing and reading and just "being there" as possible, and all things work out.

I'm amazed at how many parents I see now that just let the tv and computer occupy their children, but I guess I'm lucky because I just actually enjoy spending time with her.

[Rodney King]

nothing I would be embarrassed taking her to a conservative yacht or country club in.

Besides, the dress code at the yacht club has gone waaaay down in the last 10 years.

[Moose4]

Well, about 1/3 of the time, the parents are walking around near, or with, the teenage girls. I've never actually seen their mothers wearing similar outfits, usually the mothers are attired more "normally"--at worst, a tank top and shorts if it's outside. Same thing with the fathers.

The other 2/3 of the time, the girls are without adult supervision, probably having cut their parents loose somewhere else in the show area, and are traveling in a pack (or maybe they drove together). Just a little pack of teenage girls, all of 'em showing navel and hipbone, dressed in similar outfits yet each one is just "different" enough. I call them the "Stepford Sophomores."

The attitude is the other thing I've noticed. At some of the shows we do (primarily in Middle Georgia, around the Macon area), 90% of the girls are very nice, very polite, regardless of what they're wearing. But other places, mostly around bigger cities like Charlotte, the girls have an attitude. They stop through the booth, pull their sunglasses down on their nose, and look at the jewelry, looking right through my wife whenever she tries to talk to them, usually sucking on a lollypop like they're auditioning for the role of Monica Lewinsky in an off-off-Broadway production of "Hail to the Little Chief."

They look like they're adapting the "look at me, I'm cool and I'm sexy and Mommy and Daddy said I can do no wrong, so I have to act like a total biatch" attitude perfected by twenty-somethings in the entertainment media. I can only imagine how much "fun" these girls are to anybody who doesn't "fit in" in their school.

It must really suck to be a teenage boy in this sex-drenched culture nowadays. Especially if you're not a "cool" one. All around you there's girls who look like they're offering it up to anyone and everyone...except you! :)

}:-)4

[presidio9]

I was at the oldest Regatta in the US at a very historic Yacht Club this weekend. There was a middle-aged guy standing on the lawn in a Speedo and t-shirt at 8:00 in the evening. When I was a kid, you were not allowed on that same lawn without a jacket and tie.

[CatoRenasci]

Well, it's more casual now than 10 years ago, but the current "casual sailing preppy" is still not very risque - and I don't think little Patagonia apres-sail dresses are what these people have in mind when they're describing current slutwear.

[mlmr]

It is changing though. I know many a young girl who won't be caught dead with such clothes and I think there is a generation now who will be fascinated with more covered looks.

[Rodney King]

Yeah, but I've seen some bad stuff late on wednesday nights... but then again I haven't been there in a year. My liver is really pissed at me about that. I'll see what I can do this fall.

[mlmr]

Wal mart has a basics brand that I use. I go to the boys department and purchase their basic t s for my girls.

[wazoo1031]

Let's hope so!

[CatoRenasci]

I always have enjoyed Larchmont Race Week. We didn't sail it this year, but there was some nice wind for a change. My daughter sailed the first weekend, and was there during Junior Race Week as a sailing instructor.

[sine_nomine]

I think there is a direct, inverse relationship between parental love and display behavior. The girls who get no fatherly affection are out to get it from other males. The attention they get may be bad, destructive, and harmful, but it is attention.

The children who have no doubts about the love of their parents are the least likely to run with the pack and engage in stupid behavior. The same children have no doubts about what will happen to them when their parents find them doing something wrong. Those children are very secure, happy, optimistic, and well behaved.

The key is having both parents living together, both parents giving the children the attention and discipline they need and deserve.

[tom h]

How do you do it?

Throw the TV into the garbage. [See John Rosemond's web page or pick up a book on how to do this.] Cancel all the teen magazines. Start doing things together as a family instead of separately. [Meaning, cancel your weekend time with the buddies or your golf game or whatever.] If your children are still relatively young they will just enjoy the time with you and as the relationship strengthens they will not rebel just because they love you.

There are other obvious steps. Join a church or become more actively involved. Volunteer to build houses or go on mission trips to Mexico so your children can see how unimportant clothes really are. Homeschool your children. Get involved with other families who share your beliefs (thereby subtly changing the children who become your children's friends). Have a faith-centered family life that includes prayer and Bible study.

Sorry, philo -- I probably gave you more than you wanted. But raising children in today's world takes active work with a focus to keep them away or separate from the evil out there.

[CatoRenasci]

Well, come for the Etchells Worlds the last half of September. Lots of parties and some great sailing. Should be wind, then, too. We'll have to hoist a few sea breezes, or whatever your preference is.

[philosofy123]

Very good. Best of luck.

[Rodney King]

Black tops.

[fml]

I'm not sure you can convince a little girl that her daddy isn't a nerd, but you can make darn sure that if she dresses trashy her nerdy father (and mom) will make sure no one ever sees the outfit out side the house. Really, how do kids get the clothes if the parents don't let them?

[Palladin]

You're Amish? Are you allowed to run the computer on a generator? ;)

[Ed Straker]

ScottishLion.com

[asformeandformyhouse]

Wal-Mart, Kmart, Yard sales.

And don't forget church members with older daughters. They've helped us quite a bit with good quality hand-me-downs. Something to remember when your children outgrow their clothes.