Let's assume for a moment that the devil is at work. Jesus has told us something about dealing with him: prayer and fasting, and the saints teach that humility is a shield against him.
I was just reading an excerpt from Blessed Teresa of Calcutta; it must've been for you: "I must not attempt to control God's actions; I must not count the stages of the journey he would have me make. I must not desire a clear perception of my advance along the road, nor know precisely where I am on the way of holiness. I ask him to make a siant of me, yet I must leave to him the choice of the means which lead to it..."
Offer sacrifices to God and be patient, submit to the will of God whatever it might be. That is the way of the Cross.
It's interesting that you would accept Hell for your current state of "bliss," though... that can't be a healthy place to be.
However, if I die before the annulment process is finished or if the annulments are denied--Satan wins and I experience the eternal abscence of God.
But do you mean that you are engaging in unlawful (that is, sinful) relations with your wife, and so cannot receive the Sacrament? I don't understand why your parish priest wouldn't have informed you of the necessity of living as brother and sister until a judgment in your case, as to whether Decrees of Nullity should be issued. St. Leonard, of Port Maurice:
What is the use of knowing whether few or many are saved? Saint Peter says to us, "Strive by good works to make your election sure." When Saint Thomas Aquinas's sister asked him what she must do to go to heaven, he said, "You will be saved if you want to be." I say the same thing to you, and here is proof of my declaration. No one is damned unless he commits mortal sin: that is of faith. And no one commits mortal sin unless he wants to: that is an undeniable theological proposition. Therefore, no one goes to hell unless he wants to; the consequence is obvious. Does that not suffice to comfort you?Weep over past sins, make a good confession, sin no more in the future, and you will all be saved. Why torment yourself so? For it is certain that you have to commit mortal sin to go to hell, and that to commit mortal sin you must want to, and that consequently no one goes to hell unless he wants to. That is not just an opinion, it is an undeniable and very comforting truth; may God give you to understand it, and may He bless you. Amen.
ping
"The fact I can ask for and receive forgiveness thru the Sacrament of Confession for ANYTHING--except the horrible sin of a failed marriage seems to me to be disordered logic also."
It is disordered logic, yes. Fortunately, that's not what the Church teaches.
(1) a failed marriage is not in itself a sin; and (2) there is nothing that cannot be forgiven (except that speaking against the Holy Spirit thing, and I don't understand that).
To be absolved, however, you must resolve not to continue in the sin in question (Ideo firmiter propono, adiuvante gratia Tua, de cetero me non peccaturum
peccandique occasiones proximas fugiturum.).
A priest can hardly absolve a person of a sin if the person expresses the intent to continue in that sin.
It may be a hard teaching, but it's not something the mean old Church just made up to keep people from having fun. Our Lord Jesus Christ himself said (Lk:16:18: 18) "Every one that putteth away his wife and marrieth another committeth adultery: and he that marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery."
A marriage can be annulled -- that is, judged never to have happened -- for several reasons. In such a case, the people in question were never married in God's eyes and so are free now to marry.
However, if a person's marriage doesn't meet the criteria for annulment, then that person is not free to marry. As I said, it's a hard teaching.
If they decide against you, you may still have recourse to appeal to the Rota (although I think that is more typically done by a party fighting an annulment).
May I ask in which diocese you are?
I will continue to pray for you. Do not give up hope.
I reckon there will come a day that I too, will be asking many questions about annulment...not of my own, but of the guy I might marry someday.
Keep the faith. I know I do.
Now I am a cradle Catholic Gaelic-speaking Irish Catholic raised all around the world and find myself most at home among Arabic-speaking Catholics of the Eastern rites. What you cannot accomplish juridically at this moment -- because of your lack of status -- you can address by prayer, fasting, sacrifices and by asking the prayers of St. Joseph and St. Mary -- who faced their own difficulties, if you recall. Also, the Eastern Catholic rites remind me that prayers to St. Boaz and St. Ruth are also very worthwhile. While the Roman Rite doesn't spend any time on them or asking for their intercession, why don't you ask their intercession. My father always liked to ask for their prayers when my husband and I were newly married and I was such an incredible hothead. I still am but my father's prayers yet endure, and my dear husband Himself is a saint of a fellow.
God bless ye both. Hold on to hope in Christ.
You are thinking too much. Satan is working on you but not in the manner you suspect. Also, be on guard against being overly legalistic. That can be difficult, especially for new Catholics, but the laws exist for the advancement of the soul on the spiritual path, not vice versa (the soul existing for the law).
Start some devotional practices. A structured prayer life (Rosary in Latin, the Divine Office, Adoration, etc) will keep you progressing even though the externals are not yet in place. Read the lives of the mystic saints. The Church is there to support you in the salvation of your soul. If you are worrying, you are not trusting. Your battle is within.
I believe in an all-loving, all-forgiving God.
A contrite heart will redeem all sin.
You do understand that a 'failed marriage' or even divorce does not prevent anyone from attaining and or remaining in full communion with the Church and retaining full access to the Sacraments? Certainly, if one is the cause of the conditions that brought about a divorce -repentance is necessary, along with all reasonable efforts toward reconciling.
As to 'disordered logic', there is no 'disordered logic' on the part of the Church regarding 'remarriage' -the Church considers one that has 'remarried' without a declaration of nullity (from the competent authority [tribunal]) from a previous marriage (always presumed valid) to be objectively living in adultery.