Posted on 02/17/2018 9:22:38 AM PST by Morgana
Pastor Shane Idleman describes losing a child to abortion:
“Approximately 22 years ago, as a prodigal, I conceded to my girlfriend’s request to abort our child around the 5th week. The pain of that decision still haunts me today.
What would my child look like? Was it a boy or a girl? I can picture walking and talking with my child…watching his or her first steps…holding them when they cry and rejoicing with them when they succeed. But these are just dreams in my mind; dreams that often leave me heartbroken.
Regret is one of the hardest pains because it is a constant reminder that we failed.”
Shane Idleman “My Child Would Have Been 22 This Year” Focus on the Family
visited 2/10/2018
Some men are devastated beyond words by lost fatherhood.
The horror of abortion or the terrible misfortune of miscarriage. Either can devastate a man quite a bit.
That's what Paul the Apostle had to do and teaches us the same. The trade-off is the pain of letting go of the loss (although more painful to hold on) and gaining more of Christ.
But what things were gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ. Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having my own righteousness, which is from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which is from God by faith; that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His deathPhillippians 3:7-10.
Irrelevant.
It isn’t the guilt that hurts the worst.
It is the longing for your child.
You don’t “let go” of a longing for lost family or loved ones. Forgiveness isn’t the biggest problem.
I have been blessed that my three kids grew into adults in whom I can take pride. The good times in their youth far outpaced the hard times. These days I barely remember the hard times or find the humor in most of them.
I never understood until I was in my late thirties or early forties that having or adopting and raising kids is an act of faith. Plus if we do our best to do our best it will repay the effort exponentially.
I am sorry for this pastor whether or not other kids followed. It has to be hard to make such a mistake that can't be unmade, even if voting against it may not have changed the outcome in this case.
Somehow we have to move on and try to make today's decisions or help others make today's decisions toward substantial good. As a pastor he surely has opportunities. Everyone can make opportunities. It can't stop the the way the past can gnaw. Maybe it can motivate him (us) in the future.
His witness is that that the killing of his child was not a cheap and painless option but a costly and pain filled one. Perhaps his witness will help another young father to support encourage and maybe even marry the mother of his unborn child so that that child may have his or her own chance at life. Indeed, God frequently uses the testimony of his chosen’s failures to draw both those children and others to himself.
You better read Philippians 3:7-10 again. It is ALL about suffering loss, going through a grieving process to closure, acceptance, and letting go, and at the end finding Christ has filled that area of loss, leaving you better off than you were before your loss.
Even medically it has been shown you'll live longer and healthier if you go through the grieving process to closure which oftentimes DOES contain giving and/ or receiving forgiveness. The temporary pain of processing though grief to closure is not as bad as the permanent pain and suffering of holding on to regrets and the bitterness of loss.
Grieving is not an event.
It is a process.
Like sanctification, it will not be completed on this world.
God has taken that soul whose body was unnaturally terminated and ejected, into his care, a keeping far better than this man could possibly achieved. God has forgiven him if he will just let go of this idiotic fantasy of "what might have happened."
Suppose that the child was to be a drug addict or criminal? God has forestalled all of that. This goon has got to stop the "what if" game that he is playing, and move on to spiritual maturity.
A "pastor"? Not yet, I would say, from a vantage of 81 years of existence. Twenty-two years of spiritual water-treading, more like.
Some Grandparents have the problem mourning for lost Grandchildren.
Oh wow. All about him. I am glad he feels like hell. He should. What is disgusting is that he is now wealthy being a Pastor. He murdered. Should be in jail.
Grieving may be short ("an event"), may be a reasonable process of a few months to closure (considered a healthy duration), or may never end until you die (often killed by the bitterness that remains, generally from a lack of willingness to go through the grieving process). The key may very well be whether you allow Christ to take the place of the loss.
You have confessed with a repentant attitude and God therefore has completely forgiven and forgotten. At that point regarding that particular sin, should you ignorantly and mistakenly utter, "Father, forgive me," what do you do when He says, "Forgive you? for what?" which would be His response.
As I say, you do not seem to understand God's process. Clinging to past sins means you have not forgiven yourself, for which God has no compassion when He has taken care of it all.
losing a child to abortion:
I love your prolife posts! This “pastor” is extremely egocentric , self-indulgent, and melodramatic. Bet he had a lot of fun getting her pregnant...too bad he wasn’t responsible enough to wear a condom!
So, in your world all Pastors are wealthy? I know many Pastors and none of them are what I'd consider wealthy.
His girlfriend and a doctor terminated the pregnancy. He did not commit murder - he does not deserve to be in jail. If the girl wanted an abortion there is absolutely NO WAY that he could stop it. I see that you have absolutely no compassion in your heart. Not a very Christian way to be.
Actually, forgiveness may be what he needs the most.
Forgiving HIMSELF.
No.
You have missed in every way, shape and form the point I made.
I may as well have stated that the “sky is blue,” and you have answered the equivalent of “no no no that’s wrong; the nineteen eighty two mustang had a four speed manual transmission. “
The acceptance of forgiveness of sin is comparatively simple.
The separation from one’s child is a wound that reopens when something reminds one of the child which isn’t there.
That cannot be completely healed in this lifetime. Only lessened.
Post of the decade. Your post is perfect and true 100 percent.
This is why we are in the mess we are in with regards to abortion. We are too forgiving and allow these murderers to become victims. They are not. They killed a child. I can’t believe you don’t see that. You consider it a procedure. It is NOT.
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