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“God Wants Me to Be Happy” - A Reflection on a Deeply Flawed Moral Stance
Archdiocese of Washinngton blog ^ | 06-25-19 | Msgr. Charles Pope

Posted on 06/26/2019 10:26:01 AM PDT by Salvation

Posted on June 25, 2019June 25, 2019 by Msgr. Charles Pope

“God Wants Me to Be Happy” - A Reflection on a Deeply Flawed Moral Stance

One of the questionable, and unfortunately common, forms of moral reasoning today is the rather narcissistic notion that God wants each of us to be happy. Sometimes it is put in the form of a rhetorical question: God wants me to be happy, doesn’t He?

And this sort of reasoning (if you want to call it that) is used to justify just about anything. Thus, in pondering divorce, a spouse might point to his or her misery and conclude that God would approve of the split because God wants me to be happy, doesn’t He? Many seek to justify so-called same-sex marriage, and other illicit sexual notions in the same way.

Further, other responsibilities are often blithely set aside as too demanding, under the pretext that God would not make difficult demands because, after all, He wants me to be happy. Since getting to Mass is difficult for me, God will understand if I don’t go; He wants me to be happy, not burdened. Forgiving someone is hard and God does not ask hard things of us; He wants me to be happy. Refusing to cooperate with some evil at work would risk my income; surely God would not demand that I withstand it since He wants me to be happy, content, and financially secure.

The notion that God wants me to be happy thus becomes a kind of trump card, some sort of definitive declaration that obviates the need for any further moral reflection. Practically speaking, this means that I am now free to do as I please. Since I am happy, God is happy, and this is His will … or so the thinking goes.

There are, of course, multiple problems with the “God wants me to be happy” moral stance. In the first place, happiness is a complex matter that admits of many subjective criteria including personal development, temporal dimensions, and worldview. For example, a spiritually mature person can find happiness simply in knowing that he is pleasing God by follow His Commandments. On an interpersonal level, many are happy to make sacrifices for the people they love. To others who are less mature, even the smallest sacrifice can seem obnoxious and bring on unhappiness; pleasing God is not even on their radar, let alone something that would make them happy.

Happiness is also temporally variable. Most of us are well aware that happiness tomorrow is often contingent upon making certain sacrifices today. For example, the happiness one gets in taking a vacation is usually dependent upon having saved up some money beforehand. Making sacrifices today enables happiness tomorrow. If all I do is please myself in the moment, insist on being happy right now, my ability to be happy in the future will likely be seriously compromised. Setting no limits today might mean that I am broke tomorrow, or addicted, or unhealthily overweight, or afflicted with a sexually-transmitted disease. True, lasting, deep happiness in the future often requires some sacrifice today, some capacity to say “No” right now. Without any consideration of the future or of eternal life, “happiness” in the moment is vague, foolish, and meaningless, if not outright destructive. God desires our happiness, all right, but the happiness He wants for us is that of eternal life with Him forever. He has clearly indicated that this will often involve forsaking many of the passing pleasures and the “happiness” of this world.

More troubling still is the self-referential and narcissistic aspect contained in the simple little word “me.” God wants me to be happy.

Those who expresses this “me” notion might be surprised to discover that God has bigger things in mind. God actually cares about other people, too! He also cares about future generations and about the common good. Yes, there’s just a little more on God’s radar than you.

So the divorced man who might say, “God wants me to be happy” should consider that God might actually care about his children too; He might care about the culture that suffers due to rampant divorce; He might care about future generations that would inherit a culture shredded by destroyed families.

Wow, God might actually want others to be happy besides me! Even more shockingly, God might want me to sacrifice my happiness for them! He might actually want me to consider them and even regard them as more important that I am.

As a moral reference point, “me” is remarkably narrow and usually self-serving. And yet many today use this almost reflexively and authoritatively. “God wants me to be happy, so all discussions and further deliberations are over. God has spoken through my desires. He wants me to be happy. Who are you to dispute that? We’re done here; I will not be judged by you.”

“God wants me to be happy” is not a legitimate moral principle. It bespeaks a narcissism that is, sadly, too common today. Call it “Stuart Smalley theology.” You don’t know who Stuart Smalley is? This video shows it plainly enough. The bottom line is, don’t be Stuart Smalley.


TOPICS: Apologetics; Catholic; History; Theology
KEYWORDS: catholic; morals
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Video
1 posted on 06/26/2019 10:26:01 AM PDT by Salvation
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To: nickcarraway; NYer; ELS; Pyro7480; livius; ArrogantBustard; Catholicguy; RobbyS; marshmallow; ...

Monsignor Pope Ping!


2 posted on 06/26/2019 10:27:29 AM PDT by Salvation ("With God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26)
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To: Salvation

Aw man, I thought this was going to be about Beer!


3 posted on 06/26/2019 10:34:21 AM PDT by taxcontrol (Stupid should hurt - dad's wisdom)
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To: Salvation

Philippians 4:4

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice.

1 Thessalonians 5:16

Rejoice always,

Psalm 118:24

This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Galatians 5:22

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,

Romans 12:12

Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.

Romans 15:13

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

John 16:24

Until now you have asked nothing in my name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full.

Isaiah 55:12

“For you shall go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and the hills before you shall break forth into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.

Psalm 126:5

Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy!

Psalm 71:23

My lips will shout for joy, when I sing praises to you; my soul also, which you have redeemed.

Psalm 33:21

For our heart is glad in him, because we trust in his holy name.

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Colossians 1:11

May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy,

Psalm 100:1

Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth!

John 16:33

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

Psalm 30:11

You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; you have loosed my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness,

Luke 1:47

And my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,

Zephaniah 3:17

The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.

Psalm 70:4

May all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you! May those who love your salvation say evermore, “God is great!”

1 Peter 1:8-9

Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

Isaiah 61:10

I will greatly rejoice in the Lord; my soul shall exult in my God, for he has clothed me with the garments of salvation; he has covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decks himself like a priest with a beautiful headdress, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.

Psalm 100:2

Serve the Lord with gladness! Come into his presence with singing!


4 posted on 06/26/2019 10:42:01 AM PDT by Bob434
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To: Bob434
Rejoice in the Lord

Yes, in the Lord - not in the satisfaction of one's self-centered immediate-gratification whims.

5 posted on 06/26/2019 10:50:53 AM PDT by NobleFree ("law is often but the tyrant's will, and always so when it violates the right of an individual")
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To: Salvation

Yes but sometimes

God does drop us hints that

we're going in the right direction.

This appeared in our garden and

It was one of several plants that were

transplanted from a neighbors house but

it was the only one that bloomed.

I wondered what this could mean and

asked several that saw it what it could be.

My son Liam saw it and said,

"Dad that's a Horton Hears a Who flower"

A person is a person no matter how small.

7

6 posted on 06/26/2019 10:52:00 AM PDT by infool7 (Observe, Orient, Pray, Decide, Act!(it's an OOPDA loop))
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To: Salvation

[[Most of us are well aware that happiness tomorrow is often contingent upon making certain sacrifices today. ]]

No it isn’t- You can be happy WHILE working towards your goal of a vacation- You can be thankful that God has allowed you to be healthy enough to work, given you the ability to provide for your needs while you work, etc- The ‘happiness’ is not the vacation- The happiness is being God’s child and relying on Him for everything- the ability to work (IF that is the pan of God for a person), the ability to keep yourself fed, the ability to save for the vacation etc-

Even those who can’t work can be happy and it isn’t contingent on just the ‘good things’ in our lives that bring pleasure- The bedridden can be happy in God-

There are many verses that show God wants US personally to be happy- despite our circumstances- of even because of our circumstances- but there are also verses that show that some folks are in misery, and God says He even created the vine to ‘cheer the hearts of man’ and He also says Proverbs 31:6-7 - Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto those that be of heavy hearts. So that they may forget their troubles for a bit- Clearly showing that yes, God DOES want individuals to be happy, even in depressing situations such as crippling poverty-

There is nothing wrong with knowing that God wants US to be happy- He commands it and even provides the vine to help- this is NOT of course license to become a raging drunk- controlled by alcohol, because that leads to more misery- but to say that God doesn’t want US to be happy personally, individually, is just not correct- and places a guilt trip on people in an unbiblical manner-

God ALLOWS some people to be rich and enjoy their many earthly blessings, but He also allows some to be poor- disabled etc- and wants them to be happy as well- despite their circumstances-

Vacations, money etc are not the catalyst to happiness- as shown in my paragraphs above about being thankful and happy one is able to work towards vacations IF they are physically capable of doing so- IF not, then being happy in the Lord despite the circumstances- God loves a joyful happy heart-


7 posted on 06/26/2019 10:53:39 AM PDT by Bob434
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To: NobleFree

[[Yes, in the Lord - not in the satisfaction of one’s self-centered immediate-gratification whims. ]]

See my above post- God is NOT opposed to self gratification- saying that He is is putting a needless guilt trip on people- It is immensely gratify to rejoice in the Lord- and there is nothing shameful about indulging in that gratification, nor is there anything shameful in gratify oneself in things like vacations, rewards for work well done, or whatever- It is gratifying to work hard, knowing that God has allowed one the physical capabilities ot do so- on and on it goes- There’s no need for guilting people who enjoy life and are thankful for their many blessings- Despite their circumstances-


8 posted on 06/26/2019 10:57:43 AM PDT by Bob434
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To: Bob434
There’s no need for guilting people who enjoy life and are thankful for their many blessings

Who guilted those people?

9 posted on 06/26/2019 10:59:48 AM PDT by NobleFree ("law is often but the tyrant's will, and always so when it violates the right of an individual")
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To: Salvation

God wants to be with us and we should want to be with God.

Happiness is one of many emotions that we experience as we learn about life and God. These experiences should help us grow in our love of God and neighbor.

God’s Peace be with you.


10 posted on 06/26/2019 11:03:41 AM PDT by ADSUM
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To: Salvation

Yes, but what you call “happy” isn’t. If you mean that happy is having all your silly-a$$ things and ephemeral pleasures, then the answer is NO.


11 posted on 06/26/2019 11:03:50 AM PDT by I want the USA back (The further a society drifts from the truth, the more it will hate those who speak it. Orwell.)
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To: NobleFree

[[immediate-gratification whims. ]]

God provides many many things for our immediate-gratification whims. And we aren’t even conscious of Him when we indulge in them many times, yet He is pleased to provide them for us to be of cheerful heart- because He knows that if we were to stop and think about it, We would praise Him for providing it- one doesn’t have to go around consciously ‘in the Lord’ as it were (singing and praising Him for everything 24/7), in order to enjoy the things the Lord provides-

The pious person thinks the Christian can only rightfully be ‘happy’ by reading God’s word, meditating on His word, or doing something specific for God, singing praises to God all day long- but this isn’t true- God provides many means of being happy that don’t involve those things- whether we are conscious of His provision, and outwardly praising Him or not-

There is joy for many in just being alive, and gratifying in that joy without consciously being ‘in the Lord’, and God is pleased-

Just eating and thoroughly enjoying food is an immediate-gratification whim- which God is pleased to provide whether we burst out in open praises to Him or not-

Listening to music, and immediate-gratification whim- is also an activity which creates joy in the heart- whether one is consciously bursting out in praise of God at the time or not-

Going to wedding feasts is another immediate-gratification whims that God is not opposed to whether the people are bursting out in worship of Him at the time or not- Jesus even provided the fruit of the vine to help the people celebrate the good times-

No- there’s no need to guilt people for having good times and enjoying themselves in happiness


12 posted on 06/26/2019 11:12:08 AM PDT by Bob434
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To: NobleFree

This article for one- implying strongly that it’s selfish to think God wants US to be happy on a personal basis-


13 posted on 06/26/2019 11:13:29 AM PDT by Bob434
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To: Bob434

I’ll go ahead and apologize for my smile and laughter while in heaven. LOL.


14 posted on 06/26/2019 11:15:43 AM PDT by conservativepoet
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To: Salvation
But didn't Ben Franklin say that beer was proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy?😉
15 posted on 06/26/2019 11:17:50 AM PDT by Catmom (We're all gonna get the punishment only some of us deserve.r)
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To: Salvation
God Wants Me to Be Happy?
Well, yes - but . . .
Claims, for example, for reparations are claims that blacks are victims, and that they deserve to be made happy. But if your self-worth depends on being a victim, you cannot allow yourself to be happy. And your unhappiness makes you dangerous; no one can think that a suicide bomber is happy. Or that a happy person can be a suicide bomber.

Dennis Prager makes the point that “Happiness is a moral virtue.” And that feeling follows action - you will feel happy if you act happy, even if acting happy is the last thing you feel like doing at the time.

His book on the subject is

Happiness Is a Serious Problem:
A Human Nature Repair Manual

The five-minute Cliff Notes version is found at Prager University.

If you have time for the 52 minute version, I recommend it in preference.


16 posted on 06/26/2019 11:20:12 AM PDT by conservatism_IS_compassion (Socialism is cynicism directed towards society and - correspondingly - naivete towards government.)
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To: Salvation

Excellent piece!

This attitude has done more damage to the world than pretty much anything else I can think of. Particularly since the 1960’s.


17 posted on 06/26/2019 11:21:53 AM PDT by Buckeye McFrog (Patrick Henry would have been an anti-vaxxer.)
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To: conservativepoet

not sure what you’re getting at? The article is laying a guilt trip on people when it says things like “God wants me to be happy” is not a legitimate moral principle. It bespeaks a narcissism”

so the woman or man living alone, unable to get out among people, speak to others, etc, is ‘narcissistic’ when they experience personal joy that God might allow them to experience? That person can only be ‘religiously happy’ when they think of others and wish others were receiving the blessing instead? No- God brings us joy, happiness, etc without us being required to ‘think of others first’ before we’re ‘worthy enough to receive blessings from God’

If I’ve misunderstood your comment, I apologize- just seemed a bit snarky-


18 posted on 06/26/2019 11:22:51 AM PDT by Bob434
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To: Catmom

the bible even states that in a way- not beer specifically, but wine and strong drink- Again- not a license to become raging alcoholics of course- but yeah, the bible does say the strong drink will help the poor in spirit-


19 posted on 06/26/2019 11:24:08 AM PDT by Bob434
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To: Bob434
This article for one- implying strongly

No, that's your false inference. Try reading more and picking fights less.

20 posted on 06/26/2019 11:34:10 AM PDT by NobleFree ("law is often but the tyrant's will, and always so when it violates the right of an individual")
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