Chain saw suicide goes wrong

AFP via News24 ^ | 06/01/05 | unknown

[flitton]

Prague - A 32-year-old Czech tried to commit suicide by cutting his throat with a chain saw but survived after the machine missed his jugular artery and got stuck in his spine, a report said on Wednesday.

This was his second suicide attempt, CTK news agency reported. He had earlier tried to hang himself from a tree branch but the branch snapped and he broke both legs in the fall, it said.

The man was taken to a Prague hospital and was recovering in an intensive care unit, hospital officials said.

Family problems were the likely reason for his suicide attempts, CTK reported. His first suicide attempt came after his wife threatened to divorce him and take their daughter with her.

[Pearls Before Swine]

Seriously, I hope he recovers.

After all, they say the third time is the charm.

[Albion Wilde]

The Rodney Dangefield of suicide attempts....

Therapy should consist of multiple viewings of Groundhog Day.

Therapy should consist of multiple viewings of Groundhog Day.

Therapy should consist of multiple viewings of Groundhog Day.....

[freebird5850]

How about a guy who pushed himself through a vertical bandsaw? That had to take ahem.....guts!

[PatrickHenry]

First I tried hangin', but that fell through,
Then I use a chainsw, but it went askew,
Now I'm a-wonderin' how to finish the job,
This hobby of mine sure is macabre,
Maybe my next attempt won't go snafu.

[Toddsterpatriot]

I'd refer to him as Morris. He's got seven lives left.

Nice kitty!!

[Toddsterpatriot]

Who the hell tries to kill themselves with a f-cking chainsaw?!?!?!

Arr arr arr

[WilliamWallace1999]

[The Spirit Of Allegiance]

he "saw" the light at the end of the tunnel....


LADIES AND GENTLEMEN: WE HAVE A WINNER!

[Bear_in_RoseBear]

Reminds me of a movie I saw once where the guy kept trying to commit suicide and failing.

Perhaps it was Burt Reynolds in The End (1978)?

[logic]

Y'all are a morbid bunch!!!!

[Shryke]

Chainsaw suicide ping list

HAHAHAHAHA! Hey. Dude, that's wrong. It should be "Failed chainsaw suicide ping list".

[jb6]

Thank you, thank you, I also do weddings and barmitsvas. Please remember to tip your table entities.

[biblewonk]

Yup, I thought of that too. This guy really has some issues.

[sweetliberty]

"Perhaps it was Burt Reynolds in The End"

Yeah! That was it.

[No Blue States]

Its obvious he didnt have his chain saw blade tight enough.

I do feel sorry for the guy. He must be in alot of pain inside and now outside as well. Hope he gets some help.

[don-o]

Third time a charm, I've heard.

[Texas Songwriter]

Not to be too picky, but there is no Jugular Artery. There is an external jugular vein and an internal jugular vein. There is a common carotid artery, an internal carotid artery and an external carotid artery, but not Jugular Artery. And I would not want this fellow anywhere near a bris.

[SE Mom]

OMG...I laughed for 3 full minutes while reading this...does that make me heartless?

(grin)

[Just Dan]

i did the same thing.. especialy when i saw the ping on post 25 haha.

[Doctor Stochastic]

Razors pain you; rivers are damp;
Acids stain you; drugs cause cramp;
Gas smells awful; nooses give;
Guns aren't lawful; you might as well live.
- Dorothy Parker