Posted on 10/20/2007 8:40:07 AM PDT by Eddie01
It occured to me I can not be the only Freeper with inlaw issues that are driving a wedge between myself and other family members, in my case my inlaws.
On a side note, my mother in law lives in AZ and went to high school with Harry Reid.
She claims a personal relationship with him and is a complete groupthinker, informed = 0, believes everything he says, all others need not apply, father in law hoping to continue to get some agrees with her.
Fall out from the recent Reid lies are driving a wedge between family members. Considering these issues have an impact on my families Life, Liberty, Pursuit of Happiness and Security, I am inclined to punch my father in law in the nose and never speak to them again... but I have to keep those feelings to myself.
There must be other freepers out their with similar horror stories and feelings of isolation, so I wanted to provide a thread where we can share those experiences and laugh about it, maybe share information on how to crush their little pathetic worlds.
Man: “Hey doctor, it hurts when I do this.”
Doctor: “Don’t do that.”
Sometimes I just don’t discuss these things. My brother is on the opposite end of the political spectrum, but he’ll still be my brother when all the idiots in Washington have finished with their idiocy and retired. Occasionally I bring up opposing points, but mostly I just find other things to talk about. It’s just not worth alienating close family.
If she’s not open to hearing the truth maybe you can challenge her to be “liberal” and look at all sides... just joking there ,, she sounds like a lost cause , just cut your losses and put the subject off limits.. these people really can’t handle the truth..
Yup.........remember the old saying “Don’t talk politics or religion with family members or friends unless you have the exact same beliefs.” My father was a die hard Democrat, but back when Democrats were like Republicans. We discussed politics twice, when I was young and foolish. You would have thought the world was going to come to an end. We never discussed politics again and the world was fine.
Great to see you’re taking action on your suggestion in a previous thread! As you know, I have some winners, will post later....
Stay on the high road. You aren’t going to change them and they aren’t going to change you.
I have gay lib cousin and I don’t even challenge his rants anymore. That shuts him up quicker than anything else.
In the interest of “family harmony”, and in my own self well being, I always took great delight in agreeing to everything my In-Laws said or felt about politics. Later, I would chuckle and grin as to how damned stupid two folks could be, but that was my own private joke and they never knew. Both were died-in-the-wool democrats, and were really good to my wife and children, and the fact I thought they had no political sense wasn’t really important enough to cause dissension in the ranks. In short, you need to decide if it is worth it or not, and if it is, make your shot to his nose a good one as your wife will then hate your guts forever for what you might have done to her Daddy. I also suggest you find a really tough divorce lawyer beforehand.
Laugh and show them quotes from these idiots own mouths, which indicate they don’t give a damn about “Truth” or America, they only care about being in power.
However, I do look for areas where I can make a broad statement about reality, if it can be done in a way that "agrees with what they just said" but flies in the face of their politics. As an example:
My brother just went through some training exercise at work that he thought was really great. They had individuals (these are smart engineers) plan what items should go in a lifeboat. However, as smart as these individuals were, they each forgot one or more crucial things. But, collectively, through some sort of invisible hand (you might say) the group had come up with a flawless list of emergency items for a lifeboat.
My brother thought this was just the coolest thing. I just smiled and said: "I totally agree with you. And that is precisely why the free market works better than the central planning of socialism. A smart government bureaucrat won't make decisions that can compare with the group decision-making of a group of ordinary people."
He gave me a look, but decided not to disagree with his own stated position.
I refuse to shut up and let my silence convey that I agree with their stupidity.
My sister is alway telling me she doesn’t want to discuss politics, but insists on making pro-liberal statements.
What she really means is that she doesn’t want to hear any dissenting opinions, once she’s spewed her indefensible position.
My MIL is a Marxist as was her mother before her. DH and I are Reagan Conservatives.
If political differences are the only thing that you have to complain about, you haven’t got much.
I have a mother-in-law from Hell. Her latest behavior triggered a full out show down. She stood cursing me at my daughter’s wedding rehearsal dinner because she wanted me to stop talking to the guests and take her home. Then, at the wedding, she insisted that my husband leave me at the wedding and take her back to the house, where we were staying. The worst part was that he did it! When we got back to our house after the week end, I told my husband that I was not going to speak to either one of them until she apologized. So, he finally, after 37 years of marriage, confronted her about her treatment of me and forced a semi-apology from her.
Let the in-laws take care of themselves in whatever worldview they care to embrace ---
You are NOT obligated to let their behavior dictate your family's views, lifestyle, or routine.
Establish reasonable and clear boundaries...
Explain them and enforce them consistently...
Wish the exended family well, as you "agree to disagree"
You are likely not going to convince them of anything --
I wouldn't even offer my thoughts or views unless they ask with some sincerity -- i.e. not picking a useless squabble.
But in any case, you do not owe the extended family a surrender of your point of view.
Explain this to your loved ones.... and press on!
Just my humble..
Oh yeah. This is gonna be one of those Classic Threads™.
When someone is blasting out their opinion, why is it almost always a liberal one?
I hardly ever hear a conservative opinion being loudly proclaimed.
I live in northern mid-west. In-laws live in Florida. I NEVER see them...EVER. Thank God. Boy, am I lucky!!!!
In short...”leaving and cleaving”!
“So a man shall leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife and two shall be one flesh”
Draw a clear line around your marriage and insulate it fom family. We tell our children “this far and no farther”, but we think it to be disrespectful to tell our family members the same...even though they need to hear it too.
Love is like a river whose banks are truth. No truth and the river of love overflows and ruins the countryside...too narrow of banks and we choke the river. There is a balance.
Set clear boundaries for your family and stick to them. Explain to family members where you stand and why and inform them that you will NOT be manipulated with guilt ploys or any other leverage techniques. And here is where the “one flesh” comes in...your wife (or husband) has to be in COMPLETE agreement. That is your home, your life, your marriage and NOBODY will tear into it...you must stick together as one flesh.
If the in-laws have too much influence in your household it probably is because your spouse hasn’t gotten the “leaving” part. Spouse still holds too much importance in pleasing the parents and puts your feelings as second rate. That was additionally implied in the “forsaking all others” part of the marriage vows!
Adjust and define your borders, regardless of how “offended” someone might feeeeeeeeel about it.
Yep, someone is gonna get offended. Someone is ALWAYS offended when we take a moral or principled stand. Too bad. That’s life. Tell them that. Then tell them to grow up a get over themselves. I did. Pissed some folks off. Too bad. But I have peace of mind.
There are family members that I simply do not speak with because they play games. I have told them clearly that this not acceptable and that I want no part of it. Yeah, I lose a family member in my social circle. But I have peace of mind and nobody manipulates me.
The only ones who I answer to, and in this order are
1- my God and His Word
2- my wife
3- my job
Everyone else is last on the list. Much peace of mind follows.
There are terms upon which I now deal with offensive family members and they know it. They don’t like it, but now it is they who are all bent out of shape because they can’t get to me any more. Essentially I have insulated myself so that the issues of others are not mys issues. And the odd thing...they still have issues, anger and frustration, but like the well oiled feathers of a duck the water rolls right off of me and never get down to my skin.
You said; “feel free to share”, so there you have it.
peace!
I’ve read all the posts.....IMHO, this one is the winner
Man: “Hey doctor, it hurts when I do this.”
Doctor: “Don’t do that.”
2 posted on 10/20/2007 10:43:00 AM CDT by Crawdad
My husband tells people that his in-laws are amazing — that it’s his wife’s in-laws that are the problem!
;)
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