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USO Canteen FReeper Style~Ancient Roman Military: Julius Caesar~August 26, 2003
Heraklia.fwa1.com ^ | August 26, 2003 | LaDivaLoca

Posted on 08/26/2003 2:03:16 AM PDT by LaDivaLoca

 
 
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ANCIENT WARFARE



ANCIENT ROMAN MILITARY
(continuation)

 

PART II-D: Julius Caesar (100 - 44 B.C. )
Youth to Consulate

Descended from an impoverished patrician family which had long been attached to the senatorial clique, Caesar's immediate forbears had fallen from prominence in the decades before his birth and there had been no Consuls in his immediate family for generations. The office of Consul - one of two men who, for a year, guided the Roman Republic at the pinnacle of power - was dearly sought by all noble families. Perhaps these factors influenced the ambitious young Roman in his drive for personal preeminence. Almost from the first, he turned against the established senatorial party and sought out the popularis or people's party. Caesar's father, C. Julius Caesar, was something of a pleasant nonentity; he died when Caesar was 15, having only reached as high as praetor, next to the Consulship. Little is known about him. Caesar's mother, Aurelia, was of the prominent family of Cotta and was apparently an exemplar of the disciplined Roman matrona of her time. Unusually, even for down-at-luck patricians, the family lived in an insula (multistory apartment house) in the Subura, the seething polyglot area of Rome renowned for poor streets, multicultural neighborhoods and vice. We can never know what influence growing up in the Subura had upon Caesar; it is interesting that at least one of his immediate servants was a Gallic slave, in view of what was to come.

Political clout returned to the Caesars when Julia, Caesar's paternal aunt, married Gaius Maruis, renowned general and six times Consul between 107 and 100 BC. and sometimes called the "Third Founder of Rome." Marius was, until Caesar surpassed him, one of the most successful generals in Roman history and had fought and destroyed combined armies of Celts from Gaul and Germania. Although a "new man" (one without prestigious family), Marius was notorious for having forced through reforms in the Roman army: for the first time in Republican history, men without property were encouraged to serve as soldiers. In creating an army of poor men who followed their generals for plunder and advancement, Marius added another ingredient to what would become Caesar's own fortunes. In addition, his tremendous wealth and influence were invaluable on setting the family fortunes back on track.

Marius was also a powerful, ruthless, often inept politician. From the time Caesar was about ten, Marius and his party became increasingly involved in bloody struggles with other parties, including that of Marius' younger protégé, Sulla. It is impossible to overestimate the effect on the young Caesar of the turbulent degeneration of the Roman Republic in which he grew up. From the time of the Gracchi 30 years before his birth, Republican politics had slid step by step into riot and chaos; the young Caesar had never known a time when the Republic appeared stable until he reached manhood.

In the midst of factional strife, sources suggest that, in 87 BC, the teenage Caesar was named Flamen Dialis (high priest of Jupiter) by either Marius or his ally in the Consulship, L. Cornelius Cinna. The Flamen Dialis, a lifetime appointment, held a taboo-rich ritualistic priesthood. It is hard to imagine a worse candidate, based on Caesar's later life. The Flamen Dialis could never touch metal, see a corpse, or ride a horse, among many other exclusions; self-evidently, he could not serve in the army. Whether Caesar served in the position is disputed; however, at some point during this turbulent decade, Sulla apparently rescinded his nomination or appointment. As Sulla was now the all-powerful dictator of Rome after the deaths of Marius and Cinna, he thus gave the young Caesar the chance for military immortality.



As the violence between the parties of Marius and Sulla accelerated after the chaos of the "Social War," Caesar became dangerously embroiled with Sulla. In 84, he had married Cornelia, daughter of Cinna, Sulla's bitter enemy. In 81, after Sulla overthrew the Marian party and assumed the dictatorship, Caesar was proscribed. In great danger, Caesar left his mother and young wife and, disguised, went into hiding outside Rome. Some sources suggest he barely escaped Sulla's thugs with his life following a hefty bribe.

Caesar's relatives and the College of Vestal Virgins eventually persuaded Sulla not to kill the young Julian (although Sulla allegedly warned that, in setting Caesar free, the world would later find him as dangerous as Gaius Marius). Sulla also demanded that Caesar divorce his young wife. By all accounts, in a face-to-face confrontation, Caesar refused and Sulla impounded her dowry instead. Although pardoned, Caesar thought it prudent to leave Italy for Asia in 80. Hardly 20, he joined the governor's staff and did not return to Rome until after Sulla's death in 78 BC. He had survived childhood and adolescence in one of the most violent periods in the Republic's history, with riotous factions literally and repeatedly slaughtering each other, mass proscriptions and enemy lists, the heads of conquered faction leaders placed on the Rostra, and informers working everywhere for and against the leading men of Rome. He had fled for his life, defied a dictator, and paid the political price. These horrors must have permanently altered his conception of the Roman state.



Caesar served with the Governor of Asia before transferring in 78 to military service with P. Servilius Isauricus in Cilicia. After Sulla's death, he returned to Rome. Thus, in his early 20's, Caesar had won the highest military decoration for personal courage the Roman state could bestow upon a soldier and gained valuable experience in provincial warfare and administration. Politically, he had a leg up on the ladder of Roman success, just now beginning.



THE CURSUS HONORUM

Caesar returned to Rome and, in his twenties, gained a reputation as an legal advocate and popular sympathizer, prosecuting several prominent Romans for corruption and carefully developing a grateful clientela (clients, men and women who accepted his protection and help, and from whom he could expect political support). He was considered in his own time to be an superb advocate and orator, second only to Cicero for skill and eloquence. Caesar spoke Greek fluently, sign of the educated upper-class Roman; he was knowledgeable and discerning about Greek philosophy, literature and art. He was apparently possessed of great magnetism, personal charm, and a vibrant sense of humor and wit. He knew everyone in the tightly knit Roman centers of power and quickly gained a reputation for being extravagant with money, somewhat rebellious in dress and attitude, and determined to make a name for himself. After a sensational trial in 77 in which he successfully and tactlessly prosecuted Dolabella, the ex-consul, for extortion during his governorship, Caesar left Rome to study rhetoric at Rhodes; a good knowledge of rhetoric was considered to be essential for a political career. He also managed to prove himself useful to the state in the opening stages of what would become the Third Mithradatic War in 74-73.

On the way to Rhodes in 75, Caesar was captured by pirates. This famous story reveals, in miniature, the man he was becoming. At the time, the eastern end of the Mediterranean was swarming with pirates; Roman citizens (the higher rank, the better) were tempting prey for ransom. Caesar's ship was captured near Rhodes; he was held captive for 40 days. Sending away his staff to borrow his ransom (50 talents or 12,000 gold pieces which he had insisted his merits warranted), Caesar joked easily with his captors, ordering them about with amused disdain. He "had often smilingly sworn, while still in their power, that he would soon capture and crucify them; and this is exactly what he did." [Suetonius]. As soon as he was released, Caesar begged forces from local officials and, returning, neatly captured all the pirates and arranged for their prompt crucifixion. Other sources suggest that, with a hint of his later mercy to opponents, he had them killed before the full horrors of crucifixion could be felt.

Returning to Rome in 73 BC, Caesar was elected to the College of Pontiffs, another politically acute step in the dance for advancement. He then returned to the life of social gaiety out of all proportion to his slender financial means. He was alleged to have built an expensive country house on Lake Nemi, only to find it disappointing: he had it pulled down. He was an avid collector of fine art and fine slaves. His debts were rumored to approach over 8 million denarii, a fabulous sum for a young man without means. He also began acquiring the reputation for another form of art, the alleged seductions of wives of men in his own social class. It is difficult to find one of Caesar's later enemies, including Cato, Pompey, Cato and Bibulus, who were not allegedly cuckolded by him. From this time, until he became governor of Gaul 15 years later, Caesar's debts in pursuit of his political aims range from prodigious to staggering. Plutarch claims that, in 59, he gave his mistress, Servilia (the mother of Brutus) a pearl worth 1 1/2 million denarii.



Whether because of or in spite of his extravagant reputation, Caesar was elected Military Tribune in 72, the first office assigned him by popular vote of the people. He served quaestor in 69 under the governor of Further Spain, an unsettled area only recently brought under Rome's authority. Suetonius recounts that, in Gades (modern Cadiz), Caesar wept when he saw a statue of Alexander the Great; Caesar said Alexander's deeds had far outstripped his own by the same age. Soon thereafter, his aunt Julia died. Caesar delivered the funeral oration, not only praising his aunt's descent from gods and kings (the same as his own) but carrying the prohibited images of his uncle Marius in the funeral procession, which caused a buzz of consternation. Soon thereafter his wife, Cornelia, died and he was left with an infant daughter, Julia. While serving in Spain, Caesar championed the cause of citizenship rights of northern Italians (a cause he would support all his life). As a quaestor, he was also able to attend meetings of the Senate beginning in 67.

In 67, Caesar also remarried, choosing Pompeia, Quintus Pompey's daughter and Sulla's granddaughter. His first marriage had aligned him with the popular, Marian party; his second with the conservative Optimates. While in the Senate, Caesar voted for the Lex Gabinia,which sought unprecedented powers for GnaeusPompeius Magnus to destroy the pirates terrorizing Roman trade in the eastern Mediterranean; as Pompey's command was extremely controversial, Caesar thus showed himself a supporter of the "great man." He was also named Curator of the Appian Way, a post in which good administration could win significant popularity. In spite of his enormous debts, Caesar paid for visible improvements to this Roman artery out of his own funds.

In 66, Caesar again supported Pompey (together with Cicero) in the Lex Manilia, which sought to give Pompey unprecedented powers to conclude the unsuccessful eastern war against Mithridates, securing political capital with Pompey (although not with his opponent Optimates). In 65, Caesar (with Bibulus) was elected as curule aedile, an urban magistracy involving police control of market trade, care of temples and public buildings, and the additional duty of holding public games on holidays. This was a popular position for crowd-pleasing; Caesar threw spectacular public entertainments and funded lavish building projects, meanwhile strengthening his clients among the northern Italian Latin colonies. He honored his father with spectacular gladiatorial games in which 320 pairs of gladiators fought, clad in silver armor. The growing dislike between him and Bibulus led to Bibulus complaining that Caesar got all the credit for their aedile year, as "The joint liberality of Caesar and myself is credited to Caesar alone." [Suetonius].


 

PONTIFEX MAXIMUS, CONSPIRACY AND SCANDAL

In 63, Caesar staged a stunning electoral upset, being elected Pontifex Maximus [highest of all priests] against several elder members of the Optimates who had complacently expected the honor. The position was for life. Allegedly Caesar's debts were so extreme that, when he left home on the morning of the election, he told his mother, Aurelia, that he would either return as Pontifex or not return at all. He returned having polled more votes than all the other candidates combined.

When the conspiracy of Catiline was detected in late 63, Caesar strongly opposed Cicero, who wished to execute several conspirators without trial. He had swayed much of the Senate before Caesar spoke and managed to persuade the Senators towards a more moderate punishment which would not break Roman law. Although Cato, first revealed as Caesar's inveterate foe, managed to change the vote back to execution, Caesar's speech earned him Cicero's resentment which smoldered intermittently for the rest of his life. The fact that Caesar was now prominent enough to earn political enemies probably accounts for rumors put about at the time that Caesar himself was part of Catiline's conspiracy. From this time forward, he certainly pitted himself more overtly against the established Senatorial leadership, including Cicero, Cato, Bibulus, and other Optimates that Cicero called the "honest men." Cicero later wrote that he had always known from this fateful year that Caesar was capable of destroying the Republic.

In 62, Caesar was serving as Urban Praetor when one of Rome's greatest scandals erupted. Young and wild patrician Publius Clodius was discovered, disguised as a woman, at the celebration of the rites ofBona Dea [at which men were strictly forbidden] held that year at the residence of the Pontifex Maximus. Rumors flashed about Rome that Clodius was in Caesar's house because he was having an affair with Caesar's wife, Pompeia. One can imagine that many senators, whose own wives had carried on intrigues with Caesar in the past, were delighted to hear it. In the ensuing uproar, Caesar calmly divorced Pompeia, claiming that it was not enough that he knew her to be guiltless of adultery: Caesar's wife and family must be above mere suspicion.

After serving Rome as praetor, Caesar returned to Spain in 61 as propraetor where he won a considerable military reputation with a victorious campaign against the warlike Lusitanians. At age 39, he was now in position to seek the Consulship, the highest and most revered office in the Roman Republic.

For some time Caesar had maneuvered politically closer to Pompey. He had also been supportive of the aims of Pompey's rival, Marcus Crassus. Both these famous men, several years his elder, were persuaded to join with him in the infamous (and informal) "First Triumvirate" (which was not so called until much later), in which each agreed to support the political aims of the others and map Roman policy from behind the scenes. Caesar, with substantial enemies, needed the clout of both men to win the Consulship. Pompey had been unsuccessful in obtaining land for his veterans; Crassus, bound by a promise to help negotiate new tax rates in Asia, also needed help from the top to deliver. With the promise to support their programs, Caesar was elected to the Consulship in 59 (again serving with his acid colleague and enemy, Bibulus).



THE CONSULSHIP, 59 BC

During his controversial year in office, in the face of increasingly bitter opposition from the senatorial party, Caesar forced through agrarian and other reforms using every possible political and procedural means. In particular, he attempted the most comprehensive solution ever to the problem of land reform, arranging to settle Pompey's veterans in lands formerly held by the Roman state and combinations of rich landowners. He also managed to secure a reduction in the Asian tax commitment, which pleased Crassus. Early in the year, Bibulus attempted to invalidate Caesar's efforts by using the rare procedural device of withdrawing to his home to inspect the heavens for hostile omens. Theoretically, no laws could be passed under such circumstances. If Bibulus and the Optimates, now openly hostile to any proposal made by Caesar, thought this would stop him, they learned otherwise. Caesar merely ignored him and the Senate and took his legislation direct to the Popular Assembly. He passed so many new measures that it was jokingly referred to as the joint 'Consulship of Julius and Caesar" rather than "Caesar and Bibulus." By taking legislation stonewalled in the Senate directly to the Assembly, he laid up ammunition for those angry Senators who, in later years, sought to prosecute him for illegalities while in office.

In 59, Caesar married for the third and final time (Calpurnia, daughter of Lucius Calpurnius Piso). They had no children. To cement his alliance with Pompey, he also married his only child, his teenage daughter Julia, to the middle-aged "Magnus" The latter marriage tied Pompey firmly to Caesar's policies for the next critical years.

At the end of his Consulship, with the added clout of Pompey and Crassus, Caesar obtained his deepest desire; a governorship with proconsular imperium (command and authority) over Illyricum and Cisalpine Gaul. He would thus rule throughout northern Italy and eastward on the Dalmatian Coast and beyond. Before he assumed command, the designated governor for Transalpine Gaul (Gaul beyond the Alps) died, and Caesar secured this position for himself as well. His term in both positions was five years. He thus received an immense portion of territory, mostly unconquered or uneasily adhering to Rome.

The possibilities for military action, profit, and fame were nearly infinite. At roughly 40 years of age, Caesar had already received the highest political honors the Roman state could offer. In history's eyes, however, his career was just beginning. Leaving behind in Rome a mass of adamant political enemies, his actions supremely controversial, his supporters in some disarray.


 

Continuation of Part II -D Ancient Roman Military: Julius Caesar
Gaul to the Rubicon




TOPICS: Front Page News; Miscellaneous; News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: ancienthistory; godsgravesglyphs; juliuscaesar; michaeldobbs; militaryhistory; romanempire; romanhistory; romanmilitary
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1 posted on 08/26/2003 2:03:16 AM PDT by LaDivaLoca
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To: 68-69TonkinGulfYatchClub; Kathy in Alaska; LindaSOG; MoJo2001; tomkow6; Bethbg79; southerngrit; ...




A good morning to my fellow Canteeners,
our Military, Veterans, Allies and your families




Have a wonderful day!


I'm off to work. See you all later.


2 posted on 08/26/2003 2:04:44 AM PDT by LaDivaLoca (This tagline is blank - so is my brain)
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To: LaDivaLoca
Good morning Diva.


3 posted on 08/26/2003 2:05:12 AM PDT by Aeronaut (In my humble opinion, the new expression for backing down from a fight should be called 'frenching')
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Comment #4 Removed by Moderator

To: LaDivaLoca
 

5 posted on 08/26/2003 2:42:13 AM PDT by Radix (In my rush to create a Tag Line worthy of merit and appreciation, I failed miserably.)
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To: LaDivaLoca; 68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub; Kathy in Alaska; tomkow6; JohnHuang2
Mornin', everybody ! Happy Tuesday !!

81 degrees as I post this, headin' for around 99 today. Thunderstorms possible ...


Click for Dallas, Texas Forecast


Have a cup while you FReep !






For those who prefer hot chocolate.....




6 posted on 08/26/2003 2:57:48 AM PDT by MeekOneGOP (Check out the Texas Chicken D 'RATS!: http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/keyword/Redistricting)
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To: LaDivaLoca
http://aphorismen-archiv.de/autoren/autoren_c/caesar.html

Gaius Julius Caesar

* 13.07.100 v.Chr.    † 15.03.44 v.Chr.

Zitate
caesar.jpg (5723 Byte)Gaius Julius Caesar wurde am 13.Juli 100 vor Christus in Rom geboren. Caesar und seine Schwester stammen aus einer alten patrizischen Familie, die in Iulus, dem Sohn des Aeneas ihren Stammvater und in Venus ihre Stammutter verehrte. 84 heiratet Cäsar Cornelia, die Tochter seines engsten Parteigängers Cinna.

Von 81 bis 79 ist Caesar im Kriegsdienst in Kleinasien und zeichnet sich hier durch seine Tapferkeit aus, woraufhin ihm der corona civica (Bürgerkrone) verliehen wurde.Von 82 bis 81 wird Caesar von Sulla geächtet, (Neffe des Marius) später jedoch begnadigt.

Nach dem Tod Sullas 78, kehrt Cäsar aus Kleinasien nach Rom zurück und tritt in Rom als Gerichtsredner auf und beginnt von 76 bis 73 ein Studium in Rhodos bei dem berühmten Redner Molon, welches er bedingt durch den Kriegsdienst gegen die Seeräuber, unterbrechen muss. 63 wird Cäsar zum Pontifex Maximus gewählt und in der Senatssitzung vom 5. Dezember nimmt Cäsar Stellung gegen die geplante Hinrichtung der Catilinarier. 61 wird Cäsar zum von Hispania ulterior (Südspanien) berufen. 60 arrangierte er das 1. Triumvirat mit Pompeius und Crassus, und im Jahre 59 betrieb er als Konsul gegen den Senat mehrere Ackergesetze und die Festigung des Dreierbundes.

Den Grundstein für seine Macht legte Caesar dann außerhalb Roms, als Prokonsul und Statthalter über Gallien und Illyricum. Von 58 bis 61 unterwarf er das freie Gallien (Vercingetorix), überschritt den Rhein und setzte 55 und 54 nach Britannien über. Die aus diesen Erfolgen erwachsende Macht ließen Caesars Gegner in Rom immer zahlreicher werden, und trotz der Erneuerung des Triumvirats (56) begann nun das Bündnis mit dem vom Senat unterstützten Pompeius zu bröckeln.

Die Auseinandersetzung um Cäsar Kommandoniederlegung führte dann 49 zum Bürgerkrieg. Am 10. Januar überschreitet Cäsar den Rubikon, die Grenze zwischen Gallia Cisalpina und Italien, um seinen Machtanspruch durchzusetzen und eine Entscheidung herbeizuführen, die schließlich in der Schlacht von Pharsalos, am 9. August 48 mit dem Sieg über Pompeius, zugunsten Caesars entschieden wurde.

Im ägyptischen Thronstreit stellte er sich auf die Seite von Kleopatra und konnte so seine Macht auch im Osten festigen. Den Widerstand der Anhänger des Pompeius brach er mit den Siegen bei Thapsus 46 und Munda 45. Als nunmehr faktischer Alleinherrscher packte Caesar die Neuordnung des Reiches mit solcher Energie und Weitsicht an, daß ihn der Senat im Februar 44 zum Diktator auf Lebenszeit ernannte. Die ungeheure Machtfülle, die man als Vorspiel eines künftigen Königtumes ansah, rief jedoch seine Gegner auf den Plan.

An den Iden des März 44 wurde Cäsar von 60 Angehörigen des Senats unter Führung von Brutus und Cassius, in Rom ermordet.


7 posted on 08/26/2003 3:06:56 AM PDT by MeekOneGOP (Check out the Texas Chicken D 'RATS!: http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/keyword/Redistricting)
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To: yall
I don't speak the lingo. I hope that isn't offensive ...


8 posted on 08/26/2003 3:07:22 AM PDT by MeekOneGOP (Check out the Texas Chicken D 'RATS!: http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/keyword/Redistricting)
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To: LaDivaLoca

Good Morning LaDivaLoca! Great thread! Good morning to our military and good morning to the whole Canteen crew.

Warm up exercise for today . . . . .

Got Insurance?

Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance.

It wasn't long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones had almost a 100% record for insurance sales, which had never happened before. Rather than ask about this, the Captain stood in the back of the room and listened to Jones's sales pitch.

Jones explained the basics of the GI Insurance to the new recruits, and then said, "If you have GI Insurance and go into battle and are killed, the government has to pay $200,000 to your beneficiaries. If you don't have GI insurance, and you go into battle and get killed, the government only has to pay a maximum of $6000."

"Now," he concluded, "which bunch do you think they are going to send into battle first?"

9 posted on 08/26/2003 3:29:58 AM PDT by SouthernHawk (When a man says "it's a silly, childish game", it's probably something his wife can beat him at)
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To: Aeronaut
Good morning fellow flyers! I consider myself lucky to be able to share the skies with you and Otto!

Here's wishing you "severe clear" and strong tail winds!
10 posted on 08/26/2003 3:34:11 AM PDT by SouthernHawk (Fear is a Reaction, Courage is a Decision!)
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To: SouthernHawk
Gooooood morning Hawk. CAVU to you, too.
11 posted on 08/26/2003 3:35:42 AM PDT by Aeronaut (In my humble opinion, the new expression for backing down from a fight should be called 'frenching')
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To: LindaSOG
Good Morning Linda.

(Here's a little something to help dry up things!) Have a very dry day!

12 posted on 08/26/2003 3:41:53 AM PDT by SouthernHawk (I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.)
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To: Radix
Good Morning Radix! Hope you have a wonderful day!

That guy obviously needs to find somebody who "ONLY HAS EYES FOR YOU" !
13 posted on 08/26/2003 3:45:02 AM PDT by SouthernHawk (If you think there is good in everybody, then you obviously haven't met everybody.)
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To: MeeknMing
Good Morning Meek!(99 degress - blah!) I won't wish you a great day today. Not that I don't want you to have a good one, it's just that there is something more important to wish for you today . . . .

C H I L L - O U T ! ! LOL!(and have a good day!)

14 posted on 08/26/2003 3:52:23 AM PDT by SouthernHawk (The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it)
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To: Aeronaut
Thanks! It looks good from here!


15 posted on 08/26/2003 3:56:31 AM PDT by SouthernHawk (Marriage is like the army. Everybody complains, but you'd be surprised at how many re-enlist.)
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To: LaDivaLoca; Kathy in Alaska; MoJo2001; LindaSOG; bentfeather; Bethbg79; Iowa Granny; ...
Click on the pic and I'll guide you
to the start of today's thread







You will stay right where you are on the thread.
Please take a moment and Thank a Service Man or Woman.
Just Click on the graphic to send an e-mail.




Mark your calendar for Saturday!
The Circus is coming to the Canteen!



16 posted on 08/26/2003 4:24:44 AM PDT by 68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub (Have you said Thank You to a service man or woman today?)
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To: LaDivaLoca; LindaSOG; Radix; Severa; Bethbg79; southerngrit; bkwells; Wild Thing; rwgal; ...

SALUTE!


 

 


17 posted on 08/26/2003 4:31:39 AM PDT by tomkow6 (......................signs......................signs......................signs...................)
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To: LindaSOG; LaDivaLoca; Old Sarge; txradioguy; darkwing104; Aeronaut; SouthernHawk; MeeknMing; ...

18 posted on 08/26/2003 4:32:13 AM PDT by 68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub (mmmm DONUTS!)
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To: LaDivaLoca; LindaSOG; Radix; Severa; Bethbg79; southerngrit; bkwells; Wild Thing; rwgal; ...

Good morning, LaDiva! Good morning, Canteen Crew! Good morning, EVERYBODY!

GOOD

MORNING

TROOPS!!


19 posted on 08/26/2003 4:32:56 AM PDT by tomkow6 (......................signs......................signs......................signs...................)
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To: LaDivaLoca; LindaSOG; Radix; Severa; Bethbg79; southerngrit; bkwells; Wild Thing; rwgal; ...

Today's FEEBLE attempt at humor:

 

The following is a courtroom exchange between a defense attorney and a farmer with a bodily injury claim. It came from a Houston, Texas insurance agent.

Attorney: "At the scene of the accident, did you tell the constable you had never felt better in your life?"

Farmer: "That's right."

Attorney: "Well, then, how is it that you are now claiming you were seriously injured when my client's auto hit your wagon?"

Farmer: "When the constable arrived, he went over to my horse, who had a broken leg, and shot him. Then he went over to Rover, my dog, who was all banged up, and shot him. When he asked me how I felt, I just thought under the circumstances, it was a wise choice of words to say I've never felt better in my life."


20 posted on 08/26/2003 4:33:48 AM PDT by tomkow6 (......................signs......................signs......................signs...................)
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