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Humor (Bloggers & Personal)

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  • Uppity Latinos: Democrat Version

    10/29/2018 4:51:19 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 4 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 10-29-18 | MOTUS
    In 2016, an astounding 29 percent of Latinos voted for Trump.And now, two years into his presidency, polls show that his support among Latinos is somewhere between 33 and 41 percent. That’s insanely good for a president who is so bad on issues that Latinos supposedly care about. Wait, what?!? As a Never Trumper, I didn’t get it. So, I interviewed some Latinos for Trump and I got an earful. Many of them saw themselves not as Latinos but as Americans…Marco Gutierrez, founder of Latinos for Trump: who does he think he is? Imagine that, those uppity Latinos ungratefully...
  • A Few ‘Not Crazy Democrats’ Make Appeal to Voters [semi-satire]

    10/28/2018 10:47:16 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 3 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 28 Oct 2018 | John Semmens
    With polls showing a close race with her Republican challenger Josh Hawley, Sen. Claire McCaskill (D-Mo) launched a campaign ad aimed at persuading voters that she is “not one of those crazy Democrats. If you look carefully at my record you’ll see that I am a sane Democrat. I haven’t claimed I’m an Indian. I haven’t urged mobs to harass Republicans in public places. And I definitely am not Spartacus.” “Sure, there’s been a little bit of self-dealing on behalf of my husband, some tax evasion and eviction of a few disabled vets from one of our properties,” the Senator...
  • From Nuts to Soup

    10/28/2018 6:18:56 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 2 replies
    MOTUS A.D. | 1-28-18 | MOTUS
    But of course - President Trump is responsible for the Synagogue Shooter, because he moved the embassy to Jerusalem. On the other hand, Barrack Hussein Obama is held harmless in the deaths caused by illegal aliens in America due to Democrats’ sanctuary city policies, as well as in the deaths of dozens of police officers due to his comments about “cops acting stupidly” and support of #BlackLivesMatter. I need a timeout, which is why I’m going to make some sort of soup today  - I have squash, sweet potatoes and carrots on hand so I’m thinking orange, suggestions welcome. I’m...
  • The Week in Review: No “Blue Wave” Coming

    10/28/2018 5:26:58 AM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 20 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    The Campaign Update Week in Review (Because The Campaign Never Ends) There is no “Blue Wave” coming, anywhere in America. No Dodger Blue, no Dallas Cowboys Blue, no Democrat Blue, no blue wave of any kind. Trust me, folks, it ain’t happening, and it never was. My goodness. As I sit here typing this Week in Review this morning, Fox News is interviewing one of the guys in the fake “migrant caravan” down in Mexico. This guy is an admitted convicted felon, for the crime of attempted murder, and he’s already been deported once. He’s embedded with this obviously-staged political...
  • Bipartisan Support for Open Borders [semi-satire]

    10/27/2018 11:38:19 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 5 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 28 Oct 2018 | John Semmens
    Two potential 2020 presidential contenders placed their bets on open borders as a winning issue in their expected bids for the office. California Sen. Kamala Harris (D) and Ohio Governor John Kasich (R) both made strong statements in support of the caravan from Guatemala that aims to crash its way into the US by election day 2018. "America is a welcoming place," Harris said. "We are, after all, a nation built on immigration. The people in this caravan are just like the people in America. We all want a government that puts food on the table and pays our bills....
  • The MSM Will Tell You Who Is Leader of the Pack

    10/27/2018 6:19:26 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 4 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 10-27-18 | MOTUS
    I would just like to point out that the crazy inane Native American bomber will not be identified as a lone wolf but rather as a member of the much larger and dangerous Trump pack.Because Lone Wolves™ appear only when the MSM say they’re Lone Wolves, and they’re nearly always Muslim, not Native American. And Crazy Horse dude from Hollywood FL with a wrap sheet as long as both your arms is not, repeat, not a Lone Wolf. Because, TRUMP BAD! And he’s got his own pack.That is all, the MSM has made their determination. Please feel free to return...
  • Another Day, Another Failed Fake Media/Democrat Narrative

    10/27/2018 4:43:07 AM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 30 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) Your fake news media in action! – NBC is under fire for having sat for more than three weeks on a story that would have helped to clear Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh’s name before the vote on his confirmation took place on October 6. Turns out that NBC reporter Kate Snow, in filing the fake news network’s original story on the gang rape claims being pushed at the time by nutjob Julie Swetnick and the Creepy Porn Lawyer, conveniently left out the fact that one of the “corroborating witnesses” the CPL...
  • Waters Says Trump Responsible for Political Violence [semi-satire]

    10/27/2018 1:53:35 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 7 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 28 Oct 2018 | John Semmens
    Rep. Maxine Waters (D-Calif) demanded that President Trump admit responsibility for the political violence and incivility that has plagued the country since his election. "We didn't see people rioting in the streets when Obama was president," Waters recalled. "And we wouldn't be seeing it now if Hillary Clinton had been elected as she should've been. With Republicans in charge at the White House, the Senate and the House, Democrats were pushed into violence as a last resort." The Congresswoman insisted that "this is not aimless violence just for violence's sake. Our targets aren't random. We are going after Republicans wherever...
  • Who's Next

    10/26/2018 11:02:05 AM PDT · by TBP · 7 replies
    Unfortunately, YouTube ^ | 1960s | Tom Lehrer
    Link to a Tom Lehrer classic.
  • FLOTUS Friday: Clinton Rising Edition

    10/26/2018 5:32:27 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 10 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 10-26-18 | MOTUS
    “I think if someone were to step down or retire and I thought I could do a good job and it matched my talents, I’d have to think if it’s the right choice for me.” Chelsea Clinton told The Westchester County Journal News  Well let’s see Chels, maybe you could persuade your Mom that it’s time to “retire” and “step down.” You could slide right into the “most-disliked-Clinton-perpetually-running-for-president” role.  I’ll bet you could do a good a job at that, and I’m positive that it would match your talents – it’s in the genes.Or if that’s not what you...
  • Refugees From Central America or From California – Pick Your Poison

    10/26/2018 5:10:44 AM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 7 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) Well, it took about a year longer than I figured it would, but hey, NBC has very low standards for their on-air talent. – Megyn Kelly appears to have been canned by NBC on Thursday for having violated the rules of political correctness on her extremely low-rated morning program on Tuesday. The fake news network had been casting around for a good reason to eat the remaining tens of millions left on Kelly’s hilariously-unjustified $69 milllion contract, and she finally provided them with a good enough excuse. As a refugee from Fox...
  • My Funny Valentine — Out of the Closet With Cory Booker (Satire!)

    10/25/2018 11:01:33 AM PDT · by rexthecat · 2 replies
    Very Ersatz News ^ | October 25, 2018 | Chuck Tatum
    VEN (WASHINGTON) — VEN‘s Senior Washington Correspondent Chuck Tatum caught up with beleaguered Senator Corey Booker (D-NJ) Wednesday, outside his campaign headquarters at the Gender-Neutral mens room in the Eisenhower Executive Office Building. What follows is Part One of Tatum's on-the-fly interview:
  • Gather Ye Acorns While Ye May

    10/25/2018 5:40:33 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 4 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 10-25-18 | MOTUS
    I awake to find yet another homemade potential boom-toon has been mailed to yet another high profile leftie. I suspect that means there will be another spate of mailings involving black-powder-devices-absent-viable-detonators followed by several more days of bombastic hectoring from our media moralizers on the incivility of right wing rhetoric.I ask myself why this is happening and remember that one of the last things I read last night before switching over to an old M.F.K. Fisher book to lull me to sleep: a report from the Mexican government that the army being allowed to march unchallenged through their country so...
  • Response by the Media and Officials to the Pipe Bombings Follow a Familiar Narrative

    10/25/2018 4:57:49 AM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 19 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) Soon, very soon, perhaps today, there will be an arrest. Law enforcement officials will be quoted in our fake news media as saying that the bombs sent out to various leftist leaders in recent days were the work of one man. He will be described as a “loner” and a “nut” and probably as someone with known associations to right-wing domestic terrorists. We will probably find out later on that those “known associations” aren’t really associations at all, but vague connections. Later than that, probably after Election Day, we will find out...
  • The Democrat Mob is Preparing to Challenge this Election

    10/24/2018 5:04:51 AM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 12 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) Well, of course he is. – Are you ready for Judge Jerry? Well, NBC doesn’t care if you are or aren’t – you’re probably going to get him anyway. Yes, friends, The Wrap is reporting this morning that septuagenarian Jerry Springer is working on a deal with NBCUniversal to star in a “daytime courtroom show” that could begin airing in 2019. Because network TV just hasn’t cheapened the nation’s courtroom system quite enough already. I swear I don’t make this stuff up. Who could? If you don’t know who Allie Beth Stuckey...
  • Not Just “No” – “Hell No”

    10/23/2018 5:30:25 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 21 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 10-23-18 | MOTUS
    Barack Hussein Obama rallied an estimated 2000 fellow travelers (per ABC, so probably smaller) at the Cox Pavilion at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, which reportedly holds up to 3200, ostensibly to support Jacky Rosen. There was a much larger arena right next door sitting empty, for obvious reasons. Meanwhile, President Trump rallied a crowd 10 times that size in Houston to support Ted Cruz. At the his rally in Vegas Obama seemed to entirely forget why he was there, mentioning Rep. Jacky Rosen (D-Nev.), who is running for Senate, only 4 times. One of the times was at...
  • To Donald Trump, it’s all About America

    10/23/2018 5:09:21 AM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 3 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) Well, of course she did. – Bad comic Amy Schumer – niece of Chuck Schumer – held a press conference in which she announced all the Democrat candidates who she, in her infinite wisdom, wants everyone else to vote for. Almost as an afterthought, she also announced she was pregnant. We all have our priorities in life, and these are hers. America’s Biggest Mistake suddenly reappears on the campaign trail, and boy is it rich. – Barack Hussein Obama – who had mysteriously disappeared from the campaign trail after making a big...
  • US CO2 Emissions Plummet [semi-satire]

    10/22/2018 10:05:10 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 2 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 21 Oct 2018 | John Semmens
    U.S. greenhouse gas emissions fell 2.7% during the first year of the Trump Administration. At the same time, global greenhouse emissions rose. In the European Union these emissions rose by 1.5%. In France they rose by 2%. Emissions in China and India are also believed to have risen by even larger amounts, but these countries are exempt under the Paris Accord and do not have to keep statistics on air quality. Rather than appreciating America’s progress, environmental interest groups have been critical. Sierra Club executive director Michael Brune refused to credit the Trump Administration for any of the US emission...
  • Diversity Is Our Strength Only When It Dilutes Whiteness

    10/22/2018 5:32:40 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 15 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 10-22-18 | MOTUS
    We are told the migrant horde from Central America has swollen to 7000 – on foot. How brave of them, how committed, how…organized. And where are all the womyn?And where have we seen this organized One World Order phenomenon before?That’s right, all over Europe.Again I ask, where are all the womyn?And how’s it working out for Europe? Let’s check in with Sweden:But what the heck, it’s like socialism: they’re just not doing it right. We’ll do it better. We do everything better.Liberals are all charter members of the “Let’s Make Better Mistakes Tomorrow” Club.And trust me, it really doesn’t work.                 ...
  • Our Southern Border is Being Invaded

    10/22/2018 5:04:36 AM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 19 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) Warning to all my Houston friends – downtown’s going to be a mess today. – With more than 100,000 ticket requests having now come in for spots in the 19,000-seat Toyota Center, supporters of President Donald Trump and Texas Senator Ted Cruz began lining up for admission at 8:00 Sunday morning for tonight’s rally. City officials announced Sunday night that portions of six different downtown streets will be blocked off all day today as part of the Secret Service’s security operation for the event. Downtown Houston’s traffic scene is a mess on...