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Keyword: satire

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  • Fusion GPS Founder to Take 5th [semi-satire]

    10/15/2018 11:44:15 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 1 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 14 Oct 2018 | John Semmens
    Amid a rising tide of evidence implicating his firm in a conspiracy to rig the 2016 presidential election and the subsequent post-election attempted deep-state coup, Fusion GPS founder Glenn Simpson says he will invoke his Fifth Amendment right against self-incrimination if Congress insists that he testify before the House Judiciary Committee. Working at the behest of the Hillary Clinton presidential campaign, Fusion GPS paid former British spy Christopher Steele to compile a dossier of unverified salacious allegations that was meant to torpedo Trump’s chances of winning the 2016 election. When the dossier failed to produce the desired election outcome it...
  • Media Disses Kanye West for Meeting with Trump [semi-satire]

    10/14/2018 10:17:18 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 5 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 14 Oct 2018 | John Semmens
    Stumped by what they regard as “an inexplicable deviation from everything we’ve come to believe about race in America,” talking heads at MSNBC and CNN were at a loss for how to explain the friendly relationship between rapper musician Kanye West and President Donald Trump during their meeting to discuss prison reform. CNN’s Don Lemon said “West’s notion that he could persuade Trump to take him seriously is a betrayal of his race. Every sane black person knows that hatred is the only acceptable attitude to have when it comes to Trump. Even if West does get Trump to adopt...
  • Dems Vow Incivility Until They Are Returned to Power [semi-satire]

    10/13/2018 11:23:55 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 10 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 14 Oct 2018 | John Semmens
    This week twice-failed presidential candidate Hillary Clinton urged the Democratic mob to continue their efforts to intimidate and harass the Party’s opponents “until Democrats are restored to power.” President Obama’s former Attorney General Eric Folder seconded Clinton’s remarks calling them “the kind of tough stance we need to ram our message into the skulls of the American voter.” Holder explicitly rejected former First Lady Michelle Obama’s advice that Democrats “should take the high road,” saying that “the time for polite debate has long since passed. We need more people like Jordan Hunt to take our fight for social justice into...
  • Why Hillary should definitely run again and other comments

    10/12/2018 11:37:55 PM PDT · by 2ndDivisionVet · 31 replies
    The New York Post ^ | October 11, 2018 | The Editorial Board
    ---snip--- Political scribe: Run, Hillary, Run Hillary Clinton is all over the public eye these days, and National Review’s Kyle Smith thinks the message is clear: She “wants you to beg her to run for president in 2020.” So “on behalf of America,” his reply is, “please run again.” Fact is, “the Democratic Party she represents is exactly the one the country needs: foolhardy, inept, dismissive of reality, blind to appearances, deaf to lessons, alien to the heartland and contemptuous of the voters.” Her refusal to let go of her 2016 defeat, her “politics of antediluvian resentment and grievance, is...
  • Hillary Says Allegations Against Bill Were Different [semi-satire]

    10/13/2018 12:02:30 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 9 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 14 Oct 2018 | John Semmens
    In an interview with CNN's Christiane Amanpour former First Lady Hillary Clinton explained the difference between the sexual allegations made against her husband and those made against Donald Trump. "First of all, Bill was thoroughly investigated," she reminded. "There was forensic evidence of his semen on Monica's dress. So it wasn't just a 'he said, she said' type of case. Second, at the time many women publicly stated that they would gladly service Bill out of gratitude for his support of abortion. Third, the media didn't make a big deal out of it. They realized he was doing a bang-up...
  • Dems: 'We May Have Lost The SCOTUS Seat, But At Least We Kept Our Dignity'

    10/08/2018 12:15:30 PM PDT · by OddLane · 88 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | October 8, 2018 | BB
    Democratic leaders consoled themselves from their failure to stop Brett Kavanaugh from assuming a seat on the Supreme Court Monday by reminding the nation that although they lost the SCOTUS seat, they were able to keep their dignity. As liberal protesters banged on the doors of the Supreme Court and attempted to claw them open, Senate Democrats calmed their constituents by pointing out that they were able to be the bigger person in all this. "At very least, we didn't drag our political process to new depths and make ourselves look like petulant children," said Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer...
  • California Mandates Adding Women to Corp Boards [semi-satire]

    10/08/2018 10:11:04 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 5 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 7 Oct 2018 | John Semmens
    The California Legislature passed, and Gov. Jerry Brown signed, a new law requiring that every corporation located in the state have at least one female board member by the end of 2019 and three by the end of 2021. Democrat State Senator Hannah-Beth Jackson, author of the legislation, asserted that the new requirement "will make businesses more successful. Everyone knows that women are smarter than men. Requiring that they be given more leadership roles will inject a greater degree of raw intelligence into corporate decision-making." The legislation is modeled on similar laws in Norway and France. "If a pair of...
  • Nadler Vows "Real" Investigation [semi-satire]

    10/07/2018 9:42:50 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 10 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 7 Oct 2018 | John Semmens
    Contending the "the Senate has grossly failed to carry out its advise and consent responsibilities in the Kavanaugh matter," Rep. Jerrold Nadler (D-NY) vowed that "when I'm chairman of the House Judiciary Committee after the elections we will reopen the investigation. For one, I think Mr. Avenatti has come forward with some pretty interesting possibilities." Nadler says he "will be filing for a subpeona requiring FBI Director Wray to handover all relevant documents and testify under oath" and promised that "unlike the namby-pamby Republicans, I won't take no for an answer. Ultimately, even if we can't impeach Kavanaugh we can...
  • Hitler is not happy about the Kavanaugh Confirmation

    10/06/2018 8:03:29 PM PDT · by grey_whiskers · 65 replies ^ | Oct 5, 2018 | (unknown)
    Hitler is not happy about #KavanaughConfirmation.
  • satire - Democrats Shudder At Idea Of Having To Legislate Through Congress Should Supreme Court Lean

    10/06/2018 12:04:16 PM PDT · by Rudolphus · 15 replies
    The Babylon Bee ^ | October 5, 2018 | The Babylon Bee
    U.S.—With the confirmation vote on Brett Kavanaugh looming, Democrats expressed fear and trepidation Friday at the idea of having to actually legislate through Congress instead of courts in the future, should the Supreme Court tilt to the right.
  • No need to post satire. Leftist reality (moonbattery) is crazy enough straight out of the box.

    10/06/2018 12:26:43 PM PDT · by Jim Robinson · 37 replies
    nothing follows
  • Leftist Threats over Kavanaugh Proliferate [semi-satire]

    10/06/2018 9:42:03 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 5 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 7 Oct 2018 | John Semmens
    Democratic Senators aren’t the only ones behaving badly in the Kavanaugh confirmation process. Planned Parenthood sent out a tweet warning saying “Roses are red. Violets are blue. Vote NO on #Kavanaugh or else we’re coming for you.” Dawn Laguens, Executive Vice President of the organization, justified the vague threat, saying that “preservation of the sacred right of abortion is essential to the health of the women’s movement. Anyone who will not commit to upholding this right against all challenges or limitations is an enemy of the movement. Enemies should expect to be attacked.” Laguens reserved “a very special contempt” for...
  • NEW INTELLECTUAL FROGLEGS "While My Liberal Gently Weeps"

    10/06/2018 12:16:55 AM PDT · by Company Man · 9 replies
    Intellectual Froglegs ^ | October 6, 2018 | Joe Dan Gorman
    Another excellent commentary by Joe Dan. Includes the Kavanaugh Hearings debacle.
  • Dem Senators Reject Results of Investigation They Demanded [semi-satire]

    10/05/2018 9:51:47 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 19 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 7 Oct 2018 | John Semmens
    After reaching an agreement with Sen. Jeff Flake (R-Az) to a one-week FBI effort to corroborate the testimony of Dr. Christine Blasey Ford alleging that somewhere at some time during her teen years a teen-aged Brett Kavanaugh sexually assaulted her, Senate Democrats rejected the findings. Ranking member of the Senate Judiciary Committee Diane Feinstein (D-Calif) called the FBI probe "incomplete. All they did was confirm that the witnesses named by Dr. Ford could not corroborate her story. They did not interview the hundreds of Kavanaugh's high school and college classmates who may have known something of events that might or...
  • (V): How Trump Pushes Kavanaugh Across The Finish Line

    10/02/2018 6:56:29 PM PDT · by OrangeHoof · 17 replies
    10-02-2018 | Orangehoof
    Trump can push Kavanaugh across the finish line and in a very Trumpian way. 1) Mention casually and in a campaign speech that if the Senate doesn't confirm Kavanaugh, he has other nominees in queue and the next one is someone the Democrats *really* won't like. 2) Invite Larry Klayman to come visit the White House, through a side entrance to make it look like Trump is hiding him clumsily. 3) Invite Janice Rogers Brown to make the same visit only she arrives through the front door. 4) Invite Judge Roy Moore to visit the White House through the side...
  • VANITY: Leftist Squirrels, and Trump's Buick LeSabre (Satire)

    10/04/2018 7:44:45 AM PDT · by rlmorel · 16 replies
    10/4/2018 | rlmorel
    Imagine you are the Judicial Committee (the non-leftists) driving in The Great Big Red, White, and Blue 1973 Buick LeSabre of Judicial Candidate Sanity, driven by President Donald Trump and the car is packed with Grassley, Graham, and Kavanaugh snugly in the front seat along with the President, and the spacious back seat holds the rest of them. There are no Democrats in the car. There is, however, one other occupant of the car, and that is Jeff Flake, whose muffled protests and thumps from the trunk can be faintly heard above the laughter of everyone else in the car....
  • [bad satire] Senate On Lockdown After Receiving Credible Threat From Known Killers

    10/04/2018 2:20:48 PM PDT · by Sub-Driver · 11 replies
    Senate On Lockdown After Receiving Credible Threat From Known Killers October 4th, 2018 WASHINGTON, D.C.—All Republican members of the United States Senate have been placed on official lockdown after known murderers publicly made ominous threats of violence against them. The group of murderous terrorists, Planned Parenthood, posted on Twitter, "Roses are red / Violets are blue / Senators vote NO on Kavanaugh / Or else we're coming for you." "We are taking this threat very seriously, considering the organization is known to murder hundreds each and every day," said a Secret Service official. "We receive threats all the time, but...
  • Woman Arrested for Saving Dogs & Cats [semi-satire]

    10/03/2018 10:34:27 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 8 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 30 Sep 2018 | John Semmens
    In North Carolina, Tammie Hedges rescued 27 dogs and cats from drowning when Hurricane Florence hit the state. She provided shelter, food, and medicine to animals fleeing the flooding. After the storm ended she turned the rescued animals over to government authorities who promptly arrested her for “operating a shelter without a license.” She is currently out of jail on a $10,000 bond. North Carolina Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services spokesman, Henry Hoseman explained that “Ms. Hedges lacked the proper credentials to undertake the actions she took. She may have felt that she was doing the right thing, but...
  • Stop Brett Kavanaugh Before He Drinks Again! (Satire)

    10/03/2018 10:04:32 AM PDT · by rexthecat · 5 replies
    Very Ersatz News (VEN) ^ | October 3, 2018 | Hildy Johnson
    VEN Senior Washington Correspondent Hildy Johnson reports on the third full day of testimony on September 27 from Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh, as he is asked to address allegations that he felt up fear-of-flying, claustrophobic Dr Blasey Ford at a party she vaguely remembers at a place and date she can’t recall and whose three fact witnesses proved to be exculpatory.
  • Old Soviet Excuse Recycled [semi-satire]

    10/02/2018 10:08:14 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 1 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 30 Sep 2018 | John Semmens
    This week Gov. Andrew Cuomo (D-NY) tried to blame bad weather for the population drain affecting his state. Marc Molinaro, his Republican opponent in the race for governor, pounced on the excuse and pointed out that “Stalin and the old Soviet Union said the same thing after their disastrous collectivization of farms led to a sharp decline in output and widespread famine.” “Weather is a variable that has always existed,” Molinaro observed. “Individuals have coped with it for thousands of years. The capitalism and free markets that have prevailed across the United States have enabled individuals to mitigate and overcome...