Posted on 04/08/2024 10:19:00 AM PDT by Navy Patriot
VATICAN — In a rare instance of its viewpoints aligning with divine truth, the Vatican announced that it had reluctantly sided with God on the subject of gender theory.
Despite its ongoing efforts to blur the lines of objective morality and evolve the Catholic Church into a more progressive entity, the Vatican said it had no choice but to take the same position held by Almighty God and condemn gender theory.
"We don't do this very often," said one Vatican spokesman. "It's always our policy to try to find a workaround to avoid siding with God on these types of things, but we couldn't really stay away from it this time around. You got us on this one, Lord. As much as His Holiness may dislike it, we're going to stand with God on this."
Pope Francis has built a reputation for espousing far more progressive positions on other geopolitical and social topics like climate change and immigration but felt forced to adopt a biblical view. "He spent a lot of time trying to come up with a different solution," the spokesman said. "In the end, he just shook his head and decided we would side with God. It's not our favorite thing to do anymore, but sometimes we have to do it."
Religious experts expressed surprise that an institution made up entirely of men who wear frilly, ornate robes would express opposition to drag queens and men identifying as women.
At publishing time, the Vatican assured fans that its next policy stance would be far more immoral and counter to God's Word.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
I read that in Not the Bee this morning and thought, “Well, maybe the pope is actually Christian.”
Oh Babylon Bee
how did we ever get along without you
“I read that in Not the Bee this morning and thought, “Well, maybe the pope is actually Christian.””
Dante, in his Divine Comedy, had a particularly low level in hell reserved, he said, for bishops and popes.
Lightning Strikes St. Peter Statue on Pope Francis. On Sunday December 17, 2023, lightning literally pulverized the key and halo of the statue of Saint Peter, located on the facade of the Sanctuary of Our Lady of the Rosary of San Nicolas, north of Buenos Aires, Argentina. Birthday.
But also a high level in heaven for them. Depends on the Bishop or the Pope.
"We don't do this very often," said one Vatican spokesman. "It's always our policy to try to find a workaround to avoid siding with God on these types of things,
And bestowing fake blessings on whoever stands before them
They may have just as well said.. "What we do is DANCE AROUND the TRUE ISSUE and then, focus on something that creates DIVISIVENESS, so we can PRETEND to SOLVE the pseudo UNIFICATION problem we created in the first place."
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