Posted on 06/06/2002 10:59:00 AM PDT by Jeff Head
abner - don't miss this one!
Freedom, Wealth, and Peace,
Francis W. Porretto
Visit The Palace Of Reason: http://palaceofreason.com
This joke and your words have just described my week to a tee, titles and all. The only thing missing is the redundancy, where the engineer explains in the plainest terms over and over again the issue to the marketing manager.
FRegards.
FRegards.
I will see if I get it right. If I'm wrong someone will correct me:
The rich yuppie drove up to the sheepherder and asked if he guessed how many sheep were in the herd. The sheep herder would have to given him one of his sheep.
The sheepherder made the bet, and the rich yuppie hit the keys of his special GPS that enabled him to take a satellite picture of the herd and run it through a special scanner that converted the sheep into numbers into and Excel spread sheet. A minute later, the voice driven on board computer said that there were 867 sheep in the herd.
The rich yuppie told the sheepherder that he had 867 sheep in his herd. The sheep herder said that was right and told the yuppie to take one of his sheep.
After the yuppie loaded the "sheep" into his luxury car, the sheep herder said, "If I can tell you if you are smart or stupid and your political party, you have to give me my animal back and your luxury car."
The yuppie laughed at the sheep herder and said go ahead.
The sheep herder said "You are a liberal democrat and a dumb one at that."
The yuppie said "Yes, I'm a liberal democrat, but how did you know that, and I'm not dumb.
The sheepherder, "Yes, you are dumb because you thought that my dog was a sheep and you put it in your luxury car that is about to be mine thanks to you making a dumb bet."
The Yuppie was crawling out of the car with the dog now barking at him and said, "How did you know that I was a liberal democrat!"
The sheepherder said, "You drive up in a luxury car and want something of mine for nothing, and then you couldn't tell the difference between a dog and a sheep. That makes you a liberal democrat, wanting something for nothing without working for it. Then if you don't know the difference between a dog and a sheep, that proves you are dumb. Also, your Clinton/Gore bumper sticker was a good clue. Therefore you are a Dumb Liberal Democrat!
The sheep herder got into his new luxury car with his dog on his lap and drove off herding his sheep with the car's horn, leaving the Dumb Liberal Democrat milling around with the other sheep.
Sherry is a conservative Republican. Her mother died when Sherry was in her 20's. Sherry goes regularly to the cemetery with flowers on Memorial Day.
Sherry was talking to her friend and fellow lawyer, about her visits to the cemetery. Her fellow lawyer worked for the ACLU. She and Sherry had met in law school and had maintained the acquaintance.
Sherry told her friend that there were graves around her mother's grave that looked as if they never had visitors, so Sherry had gotten into the habit of picking up a few extra flowers and decorating the neglected graves.
Sherry's friend enthusiastically responded that she had noticed the same thing or her own visits to the cemeteries. So, she had decided to go back later, when the visitors were gone. Then, she decided which graves had more flowers than they needed, stole flowers from those graves, and redistributed them to the empty graves.
If this doesn't give a glimpse into the relative worldviews of a conservative and a liberal, I don't know what does.
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