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So You Really Think Soccer Blows?
9. June 2006 | 1rudethug

Posted on 06/09/2006 8:56:48 AM PDT by 1rudeboy

So you Think Soccer Sucks?

Fine. I am honestly surprised that you could find the energy to type it, or its equivalent. I am not surprised that you are probably the same person complaining that soccer is being “rammed down your throat,” or other such nonsense.

Do you realize how silly you sound? In what sort of universe can a professional sport, any professional sport, be forced upon anyone? Just turn off the sports media. That enough should be understandable to every member of this website, even the re-treads, trolls, disruptors, and shills.

But we need to get a few things straight. Above all else, your team is playing in the largest tournament on the face of our planet. That’s right, your team. Your other teams, be they named Penske, Padres, or Packers, do not perform on such a stage. A Packer fan may tell a Bear fan that his team sucks. The Bear fan will reply in kind. Such is the nature of rivalry. But try and explain to me that soccer is a wussy sport when I see the following:

Mexican fan: Your team sucks.
U.S.A. fan: Soccer is ghey.

Oh yeah, that’s real testosterone on display. Chicks dig a competitor.

If you cannot bring yourself to cheer for or even defend your own country, then how about shutting the heck up. If you cannot bring yourself to shut the heck up, then walk into a stadium full of English, German, or Dutch fans, stand up, and shout the same out loud. But please try those fans first. Other countries’ fans may mistakenly deliver you to a painless death. Drink a beer or two if it makes you brave. Remember that there will always be someone braver than you.

I don’t want to hear about how soccer is a “socialist” sport. It’s insulting. To your intelligence. I don’t care to talk about restrictor-plates, revenue-sharing, anti-trust exemptions, or the Fair Catch Rule, whose very name suggests wine spritzers and flower arrangements. Please understand this is not about the superiority of one sport over another. This is about rising to the pinnacle of a sport that gives every country in the world the opportunity to qualify. It’s a sport. It has a ball. It's about being the best. What more do you need?

Americans love to fight - traditionally. All real Americans love the sting and clash of battle. When you were kids, you all admired the champion marble player; the fastest runner; the big league ball players; the toughest boxers. Americans love a winner and will not tolerate a loser. Americans despise cowards. Americans play to win - all the time. I wouldn't give a hoot in hell for a man who lost and laughed.1

I don’t want to hear that the rules are lame. You don’t know the rules. You all but admitted you don’t watch, so how can you? Injury time, the calculation of which was always the source of debate, is now announced at the sideline as the half is ending. It’s been that way for years. Please try and keep up.

Players take dives. Live with it. It happens in every contact sport. Sometimes a player takes a dive in order to give himself or his teammates a rest. You would also if you just spent the last forty minutes and incalculable miles alternating between a run and a sprint.

Your team needs you. Your country needs you. The next couple weeks will not be easy and will only become harder, and the stakes higher, as time goes on. Sure, I think Landon Donavan is a priss, DaMarcus Beasley is over-rated, and Claudio Reyna is too old. It matters not. I do not expect you to start drinking at 5AM. I do not expect you to march down Main Street with the Stars & Stripes. I do not expect four Chicago cops in riot-gear come to the apartment (my personal best). But I expect you to get behind your team or get out of my way.

Thanks for letting me “share.” Thanks for letting me “emote.” Chuckle if you wish. Just remember that somewhere (not necessarily in Germany) someone in American gear is drinking and dancing with a hot Brazilian, or Swedish, or Australian chick and you are not.

_____
1George S. Patton, Speech to the Third Army, 1944.


TOPICS: Heated Discussion
KEYWORDS: booooooooring; caprisuntime; dryingpaint; fifa; growinggrass; isitstillon; itsstilljustsoccer; orangesliceanyone; soccer; wakemewhenitsdone; worldcup
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To: schu
Soccer shows us exactly what so many of us dislike about the United Nations...they spend a lot of time running around in circles, artificially limiting themselves as to what can be done...excessively celebrating when something actually happens...and two sides accomplishing nothing is considered perfectly acceptable.

The "there isn't a need for a winner" mentality of sucker is a perfect representation of the UN.

141 posted on 06/10/2006 8:06:20 AM PDT by JRios1968 (There's 3 kinds of people in this world...those who know math and those who don't.)
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To: JRios1968

Hmmm...that was supposed to be "UNenlightened..."


142 posted on 06/10/2006 8:30:12 AM PDT by JRios1968 (There's 3 kinds of people in this world...those who know math and those who don't.)
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To: JRios1968

LOL

You all make me rolling over the floor, really, the world series is a joke, base ball is a game with fat people who can't run 5 min before having a heart attack, american football players are so girly they need heavy protections so they don't get hurt (poor darlings) and basket ball, let's not talk about it.

Only ice hockey is ok if you want my opinion (which you don't)

By the way, it's not soccer, it's FOOTBALL


143 posted on 06/10/2006 9:12:24 AM PDT by soccer fan
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To: DouglasKC

No that's not it. Soccer is pushed in elementary school because it's cheap, all you need is the ball and some room to play and something to mark where the goals are, I remember once we used chairs as goal posts because the traffic cones had gone missing. Baseball is expensive, you need bats and at least 9 gloves to go with that ball, and you need the diamond. In elementary school they never let kids play tackle so that means you need flags, more equipment. Elementary school PE is all about cheap, and soccer is the single cheapest sport you can have a class of 30 kids play for 40 minutes.


144 posted on 06/10/2006 10:38:56 AM PDT by discostu (get on your feet and do the funky Alphonzo)
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To: 1rudeboy

I like soccer.

It gives pre-teen girls something to do.


145 posted on 06/10/2006 10:40:57 AM PDT by Poser (Willing to fight for oil)
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To: theDentist
"So You Really Think Soccer Blows?"

Yes, Next question.

146 posted on 06/10/2006 10:42:13 AM PDT by Mad Dawgg ("`Eddies,' said Ford, `in the space-time continuum.' `Ah,' nodded Arthur, `is he? Is he?'")
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To: soccer fan

Any activity where the "stars" are known by only one name is not a sport. Yes, RonaldoPeleAlexei Chastahamm, I am talking about you. Any activity where you can sustain a "painful injury," only to stand up and say "hey, I'm ok" after 30 seconds of Oscar-winning acting, is not a sport. Any activity where grown-up men run around in very short shorts for hours, chasing a ball they're not allowed to touch, and where one of the "team members" can dress completely different from the rest of the "team", is not a sport. Any activity where the fans bring gigantic phallic symbols to the stadium in order to taunt the other "team's" fans, is not a sport. Any activity where you have to mobilize the police to prevent a riot inside the stadium on any given game, is not a sport.

And finally, any activity that has fans hell-bent on convincing the unconvinced that it is indeed a sport...isn't. Succer reminds me of the old saying, "if you have to keep telling people how rich, sexy, smart, or cool you are...you aren't."


147 posted on 06/10/2006 10:50:25 AM PDT by JRios1968 (There's 3 kinds of people in this world...those who know math and those who don't.)
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To: discostu
Soccer is pushed in elementary school because it's cheap, all you need is the ball and some room to play and something to mark where the goals are.......

Which is exactly why soccer enjoys such a worldwide popularity. Even the poorest neighborhood in the poorest country can afford it. (All you need is the head of the captain of the last losing team.)

148 posted on 06/10/2006 10:57:43 AM PDT by Polybius
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To: Polybius

Certainly plays into it's global popularity, but there's nothing wrong with a sport being cheap to play, we still get impressed by 4 minute miles and look how little equipment that takes.


149 posted on 06/10/2006 11:01:00 AM PDT by discostu (get on your feet and do the funky Alphonzo)
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To: pbrown

Girls play it in elementary school, yes. And boys that were cut from their team respond in kind here.


150 posted on 06/10/2006 2:10:44 PM PDT by 1rudeboy
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To: DouglasKC

That's funny. I went to watch my neices play T-ball, and they weren't allowed to win the game either. Go figure.


151 posted on 06/10/2006 2:12:20 PM PDT by 1rudeboy
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To: Drango

Looks like I made my point, thanks.


152 posted on 06/10/2006 2:13:28 PM PDT by 1rudeboy
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To: JRios1968

But I welcomed comments on this Smoky Backroom thread. I think its hilarious that "real men," defined as those that feel the need to tell me that my sport of choice is "gay," are so insecure of their manhood. Don't fret . . . maybe the man of the house will give you a foot massage and you'll feel better.


153 posted on 06/10/2006 2:16:43 PM PDT by 1rudeboy
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To: JRios1968
Again, insecurity. Where did anyone tell you that you must watch? I had to watch the opening ceremony on Mexican TV in a language that I cannot understand. If that is "forcing" anyone to watch then the anti-soccer folks are more limp-wristed than I realized.
154 posted on 06/10/2006 2:19:08 PM PDT by 1rudeboy
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To: Clemenza

Spoken like a true Cubs fan.


155 posted on 06/10/2006 2:20:13 PM PDT by 1rudeboy
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To: 1rudeboy
If you cannot bring yourself to cheer for or even defend your own country,...

You equate support a sport (any sport)with supporting your country???Are you on drugs or are you 14?

156 posted on 06/10/2006 2:22:05 PM PDT by Drango (No electrons were harmed in this posting. Several however, were inconvenienced.)
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To: Poser

Awww . . . you mean, just because you can't win, the sport is for girls?


157 posted on 06/10/2006 2:22:20 PM PDT by 1rudeboy
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To: Drango
It's quite simple, really. Most should understand. That team you see on the field? It is wearing USA on its jerseys, and playing in a foreign land. I'm not too sure if its members would understand the distinction you are making.
158 posted on 06/10/2006 2:24:52 PM PDT by 1rudeboy
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To: Drango

I'd say 1rudeboi's hissy fit shows his IQ is 14. But, I wouldn't want him to send his mommy after me. Hey rudeboi, how was your post-succer-game Chuck E. Cheese party?


159 posted on 06/10/2006 2:29:02 PM PDT by JRios1968 (There's 3 kinds of people in this world...those who know math and those who don't.)
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To: 1rudeboy
Don't fret . . . maybe the man of the house will give you a foot massage and you'll feel better.

Wow...now that is what psychologists call "projection." Here, let me give you a little advice...go drink your Capri Sun, suck on a few orange slices, then sit in front of your life-sized poster of RonaldoAlexeiPele and ... well, you're (allegedly) a grown up, so you will know what to do.

Just make sure you have Kleenex nearby.

160 posted on 06/10/2006 2:31:31 PM PDT by JRios1968 (There's 3 kinds of people in this world...those who know math and those who don't.)
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