DUmmie FUnnies 07-18-05 ("Tell me your fantasy...")

We all know that the denizens of DUmmieland live in a Land of Fantasy. So Bush wins the election? Not to worry because I BEEEELEEEVE John Kerry will be inaugurated on Jan. 20. Ooops! The Evil Bush was inaugurated on Jan. 20? No problem because the Jeff Gannon “scandal” is SURE to bring DOWN the evil Bush regime. Ooops! Jeff Gannon has been completely forgotten? Thank goodness for the DSM which came to light on June 16, a “day in which nothing will ever be the same again.” DAMN! Nothing happened on DSM after June 16 despite the breathless promises by Pied Piper Pitt? Okay, let’s impeach Karl Rove even though he committed NO CRIME and he isn’t even subject to impeachment. This latter fantasy was suggested just a few minutes ago by none other than Barney “My Boy Lollipop” Frank. Yeah, he of the same crowd who proclaimed that a president couldn’t be impeached for perjury that is now pushing the bizarre notion that an aide can be IMPEACHED for NOT committing a crime. However, should all these fantasies really surprise us? After all wacko fantasies are the bread and butter of Dummieland as you can see in this THREAD titled, “Tell me your fantasy...” As usual the sanity-challenged DUmmie fantasies are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, taking yet another trip into Fantasyland, is in the [brackets]:

[Petra Verkaik is in town and gives me a call. She asks me to see her in her room at the Hilton. I enter her room and she is wearing the flimsiest of red nightgowns. She pulls on a string and it falls to the floor. Her arms open wide exposing her massive mellons while her hips wave a happy hello. I prepare to reply in a most friendly way and…]

Mine is that the Dems retake the House in 2006, Bush-Cheney et. al. are impeached, booted from office, and sent to prison.

[Guess what? My Petra Verkaik fantasy is still much more BELIEVABLE than your political fantasy.]

[My fantasy is that Nancy Pelosi defrosts her frozen smile. Right now she looks like the sister of The Joker.]

[I already told you my fantasy but it doesn’t fall into the category of political.]

We get all these election reforms in place and slowly rebuild our country and its image in the world.

[We get all these election reforms in place and, as a result, the current governor of Washington is REMOVED from office.]

Some several years in the future, there is some major national event. Or maybe an event in another country. All the old ex-presidents are there. They pan across the crowd. Carter, Bush Sr, Clinton, an empty chair, and the current president. W can't attend because his jail term hasn't run out yet.

[Clinton also can’t attend because Juanita Broadderick testified against him.]

Dem's Re-Take Both House And Senate. Thus making Georgie Boy whine like a stuck pig. Then the impeachment hearings start. John Conyers fulfilling the Peter Rodino role as House Judiciary Chair.

[It’s sure going to be FUN right after Election Day 2006 watching the DUmmies whine like stuck pigs when the Democrats LOSE even MORE House and Senate seats.]

Watergate redux. Only this time there's no pardon. Bush, Cheney, Rove all go to the big house. My specific fantasy involves turning on my teevee some evening and seeing those clowns doing the perp walk, escorted into some courthouse by federal marshals.

That we get this mess straightened out and can get back to our lives. Until then, I feel like heaviness hanging over absolutely every aspect of life in America. I want it to go away. I want this administration to go down in flames and not get off the hook. Full jail terms for all involved - including corporations (Halliburton, etc.) and liquidation of their assets with the totals going back into the social security trust fund. Fix everything they broke. And then change the laws with failsafe amendments so no one can ever corporatize or monopolize America again.

A Wellstone/Feingold ticket beats Bush/Cheney '04. And takes back the House and Senate.

[And incredible fantasy that not only involves resurrection but time travel as well.]

Bushco frog-walked out of the WH in orange jumpsuits. Kerry innaugurated...AT LAST!

Bernie Sanders becomes head Senator, univeral health care is passed (needless to say with Kucinich as President the troops are withdrawn) …Elmination of the Electorial College is proposed and ratified by at least 48 states so that we can have proportional government!

2016 Barack Obama/Brian Schweitzer ticket takes the presidency. And, I am the new Senator from Montana, plus I've already won a Pulitzer and a Best Screenplay Academy Award too.

[Did you win the Pulitzer for writing an article explaining to the public just who the hell Brian Schweitzer is?]

President Pelosi. I like how that sounds! My fantasy is that we win the House and Senate in 06 with big majorities and then in 08 win alot of states with Hillary Clinton as President and a black VP.

[Bill Clinton as our first black VP? Not sure if the public could handle a wife and husband team running the country. Oh wait! They already did!]

I awake from a horrible nightmare.....I've only dreamed the past 4 and 1/2 years. It's really January 20, 2001 and President Gore's inauguration is on the television......

Progressive legislation is passed. Marijuana is legalized, and the War on Drugs is cut. Missile Defense is cancelled. Bush's tax cuts are rolled back for the wealthy. The environmental and corporate regulations that Bush weakened are restored and tightened. Corporations who outsource lose every subsidy they have, and tariffs are slapped on their products. DOMA is repealed, and the state anti gay amendments are ruled unconstitutional. Gay marriage is legalized. Foreign aid is increased. Sensible Homeland Security measures are taken, and Nunn-Lugar is flooded with funding to lock down loose nukes in Russia, and new anti-nuke initiatives are created. Comprehensive sex ed is instituted and pre- and post-natal care are free. Roe v. Wade is still the law of the land, but the abortion rate drops to nearly nil.(This would be my platform if I were running for office). John Paul Stevens retires after a inhuman effort to survive Bush and is replaced by Hillary Clinton. Ginsburg also leaves while the leaving is good, and Generic Progressive Legal Scholar is appointed in her place.

[Crack is sold on the White House lawn, the Rainbow Flag flies over the Capitol, Rosie O’Donnell appointed head of the ATF, Al-Qaeda terrorists are allowed entry into airline cockpits…]

Bush, Cheney, Rice, Rumsfeld, et al., are all sent to the Hague and convicted of war crimes and given life sentences. Rove and whoever the second leaker is (if not one of the Hague crowd) are convicted of high treason and executed. DeLay goes to prison. Jeff Gannon writes a tell all book outing all of the neocons as self-hating gays, reveals himself to be Johnny Gosch and blows the lid off of the neocons' child prostitution ring. The Christian Right recoils in horror and has to eat a lot of self-righteous crow. Megachurches shut down all over the country due to people waking up and seeing them for the brainwashing evil that they are. The truth of the election fraud is finally released and President Kerry is at last sworn in. His first act of office is to end the Iraq war and withdraw all US troops. The owners of Diebold & ES&S, as well as Nathan Sproul, Kenneth Blackwell, Jeb Bush and everyone else associated with the election fraud are tried and convicted. The series of scandals pretty much destroys the Republican Party. Millions defect to the Democratic party and demand an end to corruption and corporate welfare. The Andy Stephenson Voting Rights Protection Act is passed soon thereafter. With voter verified voting and paper ballots in place in all 50 states, the will of the people is once again served, and the 2006 elections result in landslide victories for Democratic candidates in every state. Democrats gain resounding majorities in both houses, and as an added bonus, several red states turn blue. John Conyers is given the Medal of Freedom. Robert Byrd speaks at the ceremony, reading from his beloved Constitution. Rehnquist and O'Connor stay until President Kerry is inaugurated, so he gets to appoint three Supreme Court justices. Campaign reform laws are enacted and the corrupt lobbying structure in Washington collapses. Conservative think tanks close up shop and slink out of town. New laws are passed prohibiting large blocks of media ownership, and the fairness doctrine is reinstated. Fox News loses most of its viewership and sponsors and fades from the public consciousness. Its eventual shutdown is barely noted on page 35 of the Wall Street Journal. Hannity, Coulter and their ilk are all revealed to have been paid shills of the Bush administration and are forced from the journalism profession in disgrace. Limbaugh is sent to prison on drug charges and his show is canceled.

[…America apologizes for existing and surrenders its sovereignty to Pyonyang…]

me looking straight into his eyes. my breasts heaving in anticipation of the excitement... of knowing what is soon to come. Placing my hands on his body, they begin slowly searching. Hearing his simpering moans as my fingers meticulously explore every area. I turn to walk behind him... so close he can feel my hot breath on his neck.....

They had their fun, with THEIR fantasy NOW-- it's My turn::

Any day now-- a HUGE(as in large warehouse sized, ), cache of WMD's including chemical and biological weapons and agents, and even some nuclear components, is uncovered somewhere in Iraq. ALL of this is shown on National Tv, and that ONE event would ripple through the Dem headquarters like a shock wave. think of it-- ALL of the current hopes they have(Rove Rumsfield ,et al, going to prison), are based on the "Bush Lied" song. If such a find was uncovered, their WHOLE world would collapse.

Bush appoints THREE true conservatives, to the SC, in the next 2 years.

Then, in '06, we gain 10 seats in the house, and 6 in the senate, INCLUDING some REAL conservatives.

After all of this, sick laws like Roe v. Wade, are repealed, by a national VOTE. Marriage is FOREVER set in stone, as ONE man ONE woman. Pedophiles are no longer protected by the ACLU, that organization is disbanded, its assets seized, and its leaders jailed, for crimes against morality. The Rainbow /push cabal is likewise deep-sixed, and Jackson is jailed for major tax fraud, and Rape. These are replaced by decent organizations like BOND, CWA, etc.

With no ACLU or other liberal organizations to protect them pedophiles and rapists are now rounded up, and those who have molested children are quickly executed. New laws are enacted allowing any decent citizen to carry a firearm, nationwide, after a check and training course.

Terrorists are no longer coddled. After a set of ultimatums goes unheeded, the US decides to "get serious" on the WOT. The Sunni triangle is reduced to ashes, and Iraq bbecomes a free nation. Our troops no longer needed there(aside from a "peace keeping force), they return home. Iran, after seeing this, decides to "come clean, " and admits to its nuclear program. All nuclear sites and materials are destroyed, and free elections are held there. Iran becomes free like Iraq. Then the UN is disbanded, and some of its corrupt leaders are sent to prison.

North Korea decided that it is no match for the US, now that it no longer listens to the "peacenicks' . NK gives up its nuclear devices, and hands over all of its fissionable material. Kim Jong Ill resigns, and here, too, free elections are held. Korea once again becomes one free nation, like Germany is now.

On the homefront, God is no longer seen as an "outcast" with interlopers like the ACLU out of the way, wonderful things happen, such as the ten commandments posted everywhere, in all courtrooms, schools, and other public places. Not only is prayer now allowed in public schools, it is encouraged(but NOT required). Then, a strange thing happens. Instead of the pagan -style courses now being taught in schools, including homosexual teaching, these are abolished, replaced by TRUE abstinence programs, and voluntary bible studies. as the evil; leaves the schools, students once again become controllable. Discipline is re-instituted in schools, and is welcome by students and parents alike.

Homosexual teachings are stopped. No longer will people be told "it is a choice", but they are told" it is a SIN, and a CRIME, to attempt to coerce another to accept this demonic lifestyle. All gay groups, like GLSEN, GLAAD< NOW, etc, are forever abolished.

A REAL war on drugs is declared. ANY person or group attempting to smuggle drugs is stopped. If in a plane, they are met Ty fighters and asked to land, if they do not surrender, they are dropped in the ocean. The same for ships; they are stopped by the coast guard, and if a ship attempts to evade them, after a couple of warning shots, they are sent to the ocean floor. After a few major incidents such as these, drug lords will decide it is hopeless to smuggle drugs into this country. The drug trade dries up. All pushers are likewise rounded up, and given serious time.

Now that things like drugs, terrorism, the gay agenda, etc are out of the way, Church attendance reaches an all time high. No longer do churches have to beg for people to attend, rather, they find themselves needing to expand, to hold all of those now attending, several times a week.

On the border front, a real fence is built around the US, between it and Mexico. NO illegals enter, they are stopped by force. This force comes from more than 200,000 troops , permanently assigned there.

And in '08, Ken Blackwell becomes the first black president, with James Dobson as his VP. The Dem's lose 20 more seats in the house, and 8 more in the Senate. Now, with little power on the Dems side, the conservative message is the rule of the land. Tax levels are reduced for all, now that many of the "special interests" have gone away.

The price of oil continues to fall, now around $21 dollars a barrel, with all of the cooperation between the US and the now-free middle East, and with new drilling in the ANWR. Still, alternative sources like fuel-cells, nuclear, and Fusion power are becoming a reality, with funding from both the government and private industries, now free of so many tax and environmental burdens.

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