Posted on 08/09/2005 7:25:06 PM PDT by PJ-Comix
If you have ever seen the movie, Midnight Cowboy or seen certain denizens of Times Square late at night decked out in their urban version of what they think are Western clothes, then you have a good idea of the outfit that Pied Piper Pitt is wearing on his trip to Texas in order to grandstand for the cameras in yet another desperate attempt to draw attention to himself. Take a look at the Pitt pic modeling his tush in clothes no real cowboy would be caught dead wearing in this THREAD titled, “So do I look ready for Texas?” Um… No, Pitt. You’re not ready for Texas but you are definitely ready to sell your hiney on Times Square sometime after midnight. So let us laugh at Pied Piper Pitt’s voyeuristic fashion fantasies in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, thinking that even Ratso Rizzo, looked more manly than Pitt, is in the [brackets]:
So do I look ready for Texas?
[Yes. You do look ready to enter the bathroom of a seedy Texas bathhouse, Pitt.]
Car, hotel, flight, directions, all set. Oh...and I've got my hat, too.
[And don’t forget your jar of petroleum jelly.]
You'll need a six pack and a pistol with you as well. I think it's a state law that all drivers have these items with them at all times.
[Pitt will need that pistol to protect himself from the REAL Texans who will want to lynch him for wearing that cowboy wannabee outfit that looks like it was designed by Truman Capote.]
Don't forget your suncreen!
[SPF 69.]
Don't forget the boots
[These boots are made for stalking…]
Getcher ass over ta Shepler's and pick up some pointy boots.
[Yes. Pitt will certainly get some pointy boots in his ass.]
yankee all over, who you foolin, lol
[Apparenly no one. Pitt will be laughed at the moment he crosses the Texas state line wearing that Midnight Cowboy outfit.]
They're gonna think you're Tim McGraw. Get a long-legged blonde to go with you and you'll get more attention than you ever dreamed of.
[Since Roy is gone, Siegfried is available as a long-legged blonde.]
Not sure about Texas ...but if I were you I'd steer clear of Mississippi looking like that!
[I’d steer clear of this planet looking like that.]
Like a Mass Ave. Cowboy.
[Like an Ass Ave. Cowboy.]
Wanna borrow my spurs? They jingle jangle jingle and have very big rowels. Ohhhh, you would be so HOT!
[It sounds like you want Pitt to jingle your jangle in the George Maharis Memorial Restroom.]
the pistol sounds like a good idea too
[It sounds like you want to be around when Pied Piper Pitt’s Pistol shoots off.]
I don't know how to write it but whoo aah! I'm so happy I'm so happily married. You're a dangerous single person.
[Who performed your marriage ceremony? Mayor Newsome?]
Not bad, but lose the earing if you want to be taken seriously..
[Better yet, lose both earrings.]
or add a construction guy and a policeman...
[YMCA! YMCA!]
cute enough to kiss
[Is that you, Mayor Newsome?]
With respect to the pricky sticky stuff...I'd advise leather shoes. Opuntia and sand burrs play hell with sneakers.
[You’re gonna get Pitt all aroused talking about prickly sticky stuff.]
Now call yourself "Billy Ray Pitt" and you're all set.
[Better yet, call yoursel “Willie Sway Pitt.”]
How's your drawl!
[Not quite as good as his lisp.]
Recommend a stick of Itch-X for the Fire Ant bites…
[With that outfit, I’m sure Pitt will find a stick to scratch his itch.]
Is this for some kind of homosexual rodeo?
[And this DUmmie wins a Kewpie doll for having a brief moment of mental clarity.]
Dude, Where in the Hell is YOUR toothpick?
[Down by the seat of his pants.]
You look ready to join the Village People! Do you have chaps?
[Pitt’s Chaps are the Chaps in the Village People.]
Be still my beating heart .....you look hot WP...definitely ready!
[Is that you, Tennessee Williams?]
You should have shorts, bluejeans are to hot, a strawhat, and you don't need cowboy boots.
[Just bikini briefs and a cowboy hat along with flip-flops are all Pitt needs.]
How about this, instead:
Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Dress Up Like Gay Cowboys
Progs ain't easy to love and they're harder to hold.
They'd rather give you a screed than diamonds or gold.
Large "gay-pride" banners and tired ol' cliches,
And each night begins a new day.
If you don't understand him, an' he don't die young,
He'll prob'ly just write away.
Mamas, don't let your babies dress up like gay cowboys.
Don't let 'em write weblogs or go to teach-ins.
Let 'em be pollsters and lawyers and such.
Mamas don't let your babies dress up like gay cowboys.
'Cos they'll never stay home and they're always alone.
Even with someone they love.
Progs like smokey bathhouses and have hung-over mornings,
Little warm gerbils and minors and boys of the night.
Them that don't know him won't like him and them that do,
Sometimes won't know how to take him.
He does wrong, he's... um... "different" and his pride won't let him
Do things to make you think he can write.
Mamas, don't let your babies dress up like gay cowboys.
Don't let 'em write weblogs or go to teach-ins.
Let 'em be pollsters and lawyers and such.
Mamas don't let your babies dress up like gay cowboys.
'Cos they'll never stay home and they're always alone.
Even with someone they love.
LMAO!!!!!
Very good....
Poor pathetic Pitt.
Best...DUFU...ever!
Thanx. That is one reason why no AM DUFU today. I need to let this one run at the top a while longer.
BTW, in lieu of Chinese-made trinkets and witty birthday cards, I have arranged with my favorite charity to accept monetary donations in my name. Just make all checks and money orders payable to me and I will see to it that they are credited to the correct account.
If you can't decide on a gift, remember, Miss Manners says that pictures of dead presidents are always in good taste.
Lincoln laying in state
Here ya go.. enjoy
To quote Master Shake: This is the gayest thing since gay came to gay town...
It's not an Aussie oilskin...It looks like one of those cheapie Indiana Jones ones..
Gee, thanks a bunch. Nothing like being shown a picture of a funeral on my birthday to remind me that I'm now one year closer to that event myself. Do you also burn ants with a magnifying glass in your spare time? :-)
Most of the DUmmie threads are about Cindy Sheehan right now. Therefore nothing much in the way of fresh material. If anybody sees an interesting thread, then FreepMail me the link. Thanx.
Most all the "Cindy" threads now are just send money for any and everything.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x4306268
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x4302470
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x4306489
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