Federal Government Water Resource Inspector

July 28, 2008 | Jeff Head

[Jeff Head]

A federal government water resources inspector went out to a Texas ranch to investigate water use at the large Texas property.

The old rancher met him in the drive and told him that he appreciated and understood his job, but that there was one irrigated pasture that the government man simply would not be able to inspect or check out.

The government man became a little irritated and said, "What do you mean I can't inspect or check it out?"

The inspector then pulled out his official government ID and told the rancher,

"You see this ID? It says here that I represent the United States Federal Government and that in the execution of my duties for inspecting water resource use I can inspect and analyze any part of your, or anyone else's property to ensure that there are no violations.

"So I WILL be looking at that pasture...and now I'm going to make sure and look at it particularly close."

The old rancher simply said, "OK, suite yourself."

About ten minutes later the old rancher was startled by a wild yell coming from the field in question.

When he looked over towards the field, he saw the government man being chased and rapidly overtaken by the rancher's large Brahma bull.

The rancher chuckled to himself and then cupped his hands to his moutth and yelled,

"Be sure and show HIM your official government ID card. See what he thinks of it!"

[Jeff Head]

Thought a break from the seriousness of this campagn was in order. A lighter moment so to speak.

Such jokes are funny, but unfortunately represent all too closely both the attitude and the ignorance of many of the governmental regulators who are sent out to enforce the myriad of governmental regulations on hard working ranchers, farmers, and many others in rural areas of this country, and particularly in the west.

In this case, the old Brahma bull apparently wasn't too impressed by the Federal Government ID...hehehe.

As a youth, halling hay and working fields in north central Texas, I will tell you that on more than one occassion I was chased out of a field by an angry Brahma bull.

They aren't impressed by much of anything and we always gave them a very wide berth. Even then, as I said, sometimes that wasn't enough...they'd come a running at you from a quarter mile away and you'd best hope you had enouugh time and room to get out of their field.

[Jeff Head]

FYI...a little lighter reading.

[econjack]

I can remember when I had my own software company, selling mainly via mail order. Our major product was a statistics package and we had a large following in the educational market because it was so easy to use (i.e., no programming language to learn like SAS or SPSS). We also had a lot of non-profit companies (e.g. hospitals) use it. Such companies are exempt from our state sales tax. We were a small company with a maximum of 10 employees doing a couple of million in sales per year.

The State of Indiana accused us of not paying the appropriate sales taxes. When I asked the grounds for the charge, their reply was that any company with our level of sales and such a small amount of sales taxes collected was guilty of not paying sales taxes due.

An auditor came to my office and, for a period of 4 1/2 days, sat there demanding this record and that record to the point where neither me or my secretary got anything done during the period. At the end of the week, the auditor said: "You're right. You don't owe any sales taxes."

The tax collector gets away with the "you're guilty until proved innocent" approach to their business. I was so PO'ed I could have spit nails. I wish there was some way that I could bill the state for 4 1/2 days of my and my secretary's time.

[AuntB]

Wonderful! Thanks.

[Joe 6-pack]

When I first moved to Louisiana I lived in a development that was generally surrounded by pasture. I would take my German Shepherd, Timber, on walks around the network of quiet country roads. On one stretch there was a pasture occupied by a small herd of cows, accompanied by one of the biggest, bluest Brahmas I've ever seen. We were about 150 yards away from the gaggle of beef when we first approached, and as we strolled down the road, the Brahma left his harem and jogged over to check us out. My shepherd saw him coming and got into defensive posture and the bull stopped about 20 yards away, with he and my shepherd locking stares with two very, very thin strands of barbed wire between us. Of the three creatures there (Timber, me and the bull) it quickly became obvious that I was the only one that had any notion of the concept of, "fear," and while I'm confident Timber would have given his life (in a futile effort) to protect me, we made a quick exit from the area with the bull carefully watching each and every step until we were out of sight.

Had the bull felt threatened enough to come through the wire, I doubt I'd have survived the experience.

[doodad]

I used to work as a contractor for the EPA and have seen them run roughshod over people with their “badge.”

It was disgusting and I left.

[freekitty]

HA HA HA HA HA.

[Jeff Head]

If a brahma bull wants to go through the barbed wire fence...he will do so and drag whatever parts of it that cling to his hide along with him after whatever he is chasing.

[Joe 6-pack]

Oh....I’m well aware that he was perfectly capable of doing so. I’ve been in some pretty hairy situations in my life, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything quite like the electric tension in the stare-down between my dog and the bull...There was something so primal about it that I doubt very few people would have tried to walk between them. I had to repeatedly jerk his leash, and he kept turning back to keep an eye on the bull as we exfiltrated the AO.

[Jeff Head]

At least your dog had the sense not to charge in there and try and chase or go after the bull. Many dogs would not have simply stared.

[Joe 6-pack]

That dog had more common sense and intelligence than most of the people I know.

[Alamo-Girl]

Thanks for the ping!

[Countyline]

Perfect.

[editor-surveyor]

I’ll be going right out to purchase a brama bull...

[dighton]

Blade: The rodeo clown is the most DANGEROUS job, ’cause he gets CLOSEST to the BULL. He gets the BEST of the BULL! HOOK to the left! HOOK to the right! And if the bull rider’s in trouble, he’s gotta protect him, even if it means gettin’ his ribs pulled out, or bein’ freight-trained...

Harry Monroe: Freight-trained?!

Blade: Run over, just like a freight train, only with a bull, it’s worse, cause a freight train don’t BACK UP and FINISH the JOB.

— Stir Crazy.

[Jeff Head]

Well, my bet is that if you truly get run over by a freight train...it don't have to back up and finish the job. It'll get 'er done the first time over.

But, come to think of it, usually the same holds with a big mean Brahma.

[soundbits]

Jeff, thanks for the humor ping.

[Jeff Head]

You are welcome my FRiend. Hope all is well with you and yours up north there.

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

“[The King] has sent swarms of officers hither to eat out our substance...”

from The Unanimous Declaration of the Thirteen United States of America.

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

When he looked over towards the field, he saw the government man being chased and rapidly overtaken by the rancher's large Brahma bull.

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeee-haaaaaaaaaaaa! God bless Texas!