I don’t think there is a direct connection with dementia and sleeping a lot. Indeed, some elderly people with dementia hardly sleep at all. There may be some other problem that is causing you father to sleep a lot and perhaps it would help to get this checked out.
We’ve been through this with three parents between us. One of the best pieces of advice we got was from a nurse who noticed that it was a little upsetting to talk with Mom and, for example, have her going on about having had lunch with “Joe,” who had passed away decades ago, or many other experiences that had not actually occurred, at least “yesterday.”
I asked the nurse if she had any advice on how to handle these things. She told us to simply go along and not challenge Mom’s reality. She said that telling a person she hadn’t had lunch with Joe because Joe was dead — which we hadn’t done, but still — just ended up frightening the person. They apparently think they really did have lunch with Joe, so it’s very unsettling to be told that they did not (much less to be told that Joe was dead).
The nurse’s advice was to say “how nice, I’ll bet you enjoyed that.” Which, of course, on some level, in her mind, Mom did! So responding like that would actually make Mom beam and light up — sometimes she would begin telling us all about what they had for lunch and so on. And she would really enjoy the “memory” as she told it. So she was happy, we were happier, and no harm was done. For all we know, maybe Mom really was remembering a long-ago lunch with Joe and just pegging it as having happened yesterday.
This brought a lot more joy and peacefulness to our conversations.
Also if Mom came up with something that upset her — such as “last night there was a man at the window holding a knife in his mouth” (real example) — the nurse suggested also accepting that as Mom’s reality, but being calm and matter-of-fact about it. So our response was something like, “It’s nice to have windows that have such thick, strong glass, isn’t it?.” Worked for Mom. And then we’d be on to the next thing.
Doesn’t sound like much, but this understanding of how to approach things that Mom expressed that were only happening in her head was really, really helpful.
Does he enjoy coffee? Google coffee and Alzheimer’s. If he likes drinking it, and you notice no ill effects (such as jitters), then that might give him a greater sense of well-being, help with the daytime sleeping situation, and help with memory function.
When my dad was 80, he asked his doctor if he should stop drinking coffee and some other stuff he’d heard was “bad” for him. His doctor said, “Good Lord, man, you’re 80 years old. Eat and drink whatever the hell you want.”
Music worked well with my Mom. I bought some oldies (from her generation, not mine) and when I played them, she perked up and really enjoyed it. If your folks are in their 80s now, look for stuff that was popular when they were in their late teens and early 20s.
What struck me about dementia patients was that they seldom moved their heads.
If they are still responsive, get them to move their heads as far to the left as possible, and then to the right, preferably to effect a 360 degree head movement while standing, or 180 degree range of movement lying, and something between 360 and 180 if done seated.
The other plane of movement is up and down, for 180 degrees or more, for a 50 count.
Maintaining full range head movement, engages and implies the effective control of all the muscles and movement in the body.
Preferably, they should do that as soon as they awaken and get out of bed, and I’ve seen people with very little movement recover virtually all movement, starting in this fashion.
Full range movement left to right, up and down, and then as they recover, fists, palmward and then knuckeword, foot movement, toe raise and heel raise — and if one can maintain and increase the range at those parts of the body, prognosis is good for recovery and improvement.
With full range movement, one will noticed the contraction and relaxation that produces a blood flow to/out of that area, which all the usual “mental” or thinking only exercises cannot effect.
This similar atrophying of the neck muscles and circulation occurs with most people wo do not exhibit full range head movement — which is the distinguishing quality of vibrant, healthy people. It is movement specifically at the extremities, that are the markers of health — and all that conventional exercise, does little good — for increasing the circulation and functioning at these vital parts of the human body.
As long as they are responsive and can maintain those movements with increasing range as their objective, the prognosis is good, for recovery from strokes, and other impairment of movement, atrophy, and dysfunction.
That is the base level of responsiveness to determine if they are still responsive and capable of willful movement and action.
You must make time for yourself. If you can, find an adult daycare you can use. There are online support groups, as well as the Alzheimer’s Association. They can help.
Good luck and God bless you and your parents.
Research any prescription meds he’s on and make sure the problem isn’t being caused by contraindications or side effects. Such was the case with my FIL, who was also suffering from dementia, but he got much better when we straightened out his meds. That’s all I’ve got for you except prayers.
I moved her to an assisted living facility specifically for dementia/Alzheimer's. Every day I feel guilty that she is not in my home but that is another story. She unfortunately has what they call “word salad” where she knows exactly what she is saying but you can barely understand. However, when she is agitated or angry, it's as plain as day! She was unable to take Aricept (many times the GI side effects are too hard to cope with) but does take the Exelon patch and Namenda. Drs.are recommending combining several of the Alz. drugs because on works on the tangles in the brain and the other on the plaque. Do they work? You don't know, but she is still in the moderate stage after I would say 5 years. This disease kind of stair steps, and we have been on a nice plateau but you are always waiting for the next drop.
Sorry to go on so, I could write a book. Here is what I've learned and some suggestions:
Contact the Alzheimers Association. They have a caregivers class that is wonderful. They also have lists of daycare, and other info like support groups. One of the groups meets at mom's place and we have our families and anyone in the community come. I have seen the group change peoples lives.
In the Dallas area is a place called Friends Place. It is a “daycare” but very highly regarded. They have a website and might know of others nationwide.
If you do end up at any facility, be a presence! I am their worst nightmare.
Medic Alert bracelets and Safe Return bracelets have combined. I did not put a bracelet on mom UNTIL she was in the assisted living facility and had 2 coded secure doors. She has gotten out 3 times, the worst was when another family member thought she was a visitor and held the door for her! She got a half a mile up the road (great shape!) till the nurse caught up. This bracelet has an 800 number that anyone can call. Just google it or tag it off the Alz. Assoc. website.
Locally, we have a teaching hospital which is doing research and has many study groups doing clinical trials. They also encourage children of dementia patients to join a study group and be followed which I have not had the nerve to do. This is a frightening disease. See if your dad qualifies for a clinical trial.
A geriatric specialist is a good idea, and some areas have geriatric managers who oversee someone with a complicated disease/diseases. Many Alz patients are diagnosed and followed by a neurologist. From others in our support group, some internists and primary care physicians just aren't specialized enough. Frontal temporal lobe dementia is usually characterized by more aggressive and volatile behavior. You need to know what you are dealing with.
Sundowners is real! I call after about 5pm the “witching hour”. Drs. think that the brain knows that at that time of day, the person is supposed to be doing something, being busy. It's when the family would be home, dinner would need to be made, etc. Depending on the day, mom gets more confused, sometimes agitated, and will walk and walk, and try to get outside “to get her car”. Distract, try a new activity, or just walk with them.
Yes, you do end up lying. But if it puts their mind to rest, why upset them. You will be onto another subject in a minute. Sometimes mom will tell me she has to get home to mother. Another time, she will look at me at say “my mothers dead isn't she?”Go with the flow.
Alz is a regression in age. To my distress as an only child, my mother does not remember my father who she married at 23. But like I said above, she needs to get home because her mother needs help. I would say she is about 18 to 20 in her mind. That is why end stage Alz is so difficult, where the brain forgets how to swallow or hold the head up like a newborn. That was a shock to see, I don't care how many books you read.
Please, please take care of all the legal work. Make sure you have both power of attorney and medical power of attorney.
If your father was a veteran, there is a benefit for assisted living, home health care and even for a surviving spouse. Check the Dept. of VA website.
Mom and I played card, Crazy Eights. She is not able to do that anymore, so we play different solitaire games together and she does participate and have to work. We also look at family photo albums, and since she moved here started an art class. I continued that by bringing her art teacher there for a weekly private lesson. It is well worth it. She focuses for that hour and really gets into it.
Any simple chores are great or anything charitable that they can participate in and have a sense of purpose and worth. After a while I had to assist with all the chores because she could not really follow directions or find the dryer that she had used for years. That causes frustration and you just have to adapt each day. If they can't do it do it together, which can be hard on you and stressful.
I hope I didn't overwhelm you, obviously mom and I are in the middle of the battle. My prayers are with you and your family. Please seek support for yourself, too. It is both an outlet and a source of info and new ideas and ways to cope.
There are a lot of helpful books which because it's so late I can't remember, but Freepmail me if you want anymore info, names or books or just questions.
Check for depression and any possible medication interactions.
My father passed away from this last year. It is hard, but caring for him is the best possible thing you could be doing with your time. There is no more honorable activity than honoring your parents.
Good luck, tough position.
Remember, at some point there is just nothing you can do and it is not your fault.