Frowning takes 68 muscles.
Smiling takes 6.
Pulling this trigger takes 2.
I'm lazy.
Posted on 11/27/2010 10:36:14 AM PST by John Semmens
Homeland Security Secretary Janet Nipplitaliano declared the Transportation Security Administration’s “pat downs” to be a “great success” and requested a budget increase to extend them to other venues.
“Planes aren’t the only attractive targets for terrorists,” Nipplitaliano pointed out. “Trains and buses also offer a large number of potential victims. Then there’s sporting events and shopping malls. If we’re going to be thorough we need to screen in many more places.”
The Secretary rejected complaints about the intrusiveness of the searches as “overwrought. Any woman who’s undergone a pelvic exam has had to put up with a greater invasion of her person than she normally would under our screening system. A pat here. A poke there. It just takes a minute. Just grin and bear it.”
Nipplitaliano also dismissed fears that aversion to the screening could lead to unwelcome consequences. “Look, traveling, shopping, going to a ball game—all are voluntary activities,” she said. “If travel is reduced, that will save energy and lessen pollution. You can shop via the Internet if you don’t want to be probed at the mall. And most big time sporting events can be watched on TV at home. Would it really be so bad if more people stayed home more often? It seems like that would be safer all around.”
(Excerpt) Read more at azconserv1.wordpress.com ...
Why are the libs so consistently hideous? They deliberately bring vileness to the national level where possible. The vile Janets. Janet Reno, then an eight-year break, and now this Janet.
ping
I’m wondering if this is the administrations back door way of building their “Civilian Security Force” before our very eyes.
Douchebaggery is afoot.
IMA GOING NAKED NOW WHAT?
Think of how many more people the TSA will have to hire to pat down and scan people at train and bus stations, malls, grocery stores, sports competitions (little league on up), Walmart and Target, churches and synagogues (but not mosques), and anywhere else large numbers of people congregate. The unions will be pushing for this since TSA agents can now unionize.
LOL, you perv....
“IMA GOING NAKED NOW WHAT?”
Just because yer naked doesn’t absolve you of any guilt for being a domestic extremist or some other enemy of the State.
A wink and a head shakin’ chuckle John. Thanks for the ping.
....“pat downs” to be a “great success”
What success is she talking about?
Has the new enhanced pat downs resulted in thwarting any terrorists?
NO!
Then the only success that she can possibly be referring to would be the success of violating the 4th ammendment and state sponsored rape.
FUBO and your janet reno clone.
That is my thought. They will unionize and increase the size of the TSA. Adding 16,000 IRS healthcare police.
The libs are giving away their freedom, while hoping for change.
I won’t tell. It’s more fun to read the comments.
Yikes! I gotta start looking at the poster before
blowing my basket!
But thanks, I needed that rush of adreneline!
Managed to do what 3 cups of coffee couldn’t this morning.
:)
Hey! I just figured out who the “mark of the beast” refers to. It must be Janet.
John, your satires are too close to the truth these days!
Top 20, woot!
The bureaucracy is in place, and they have money, so now they will be on a continuous quest to make work for themselves.
“Think of how many more people the TSA will have to hire to pat down and scan people”
I’m assuming that deputizing citizens to take on this growing task is just around the corner. For obvious reasons, TSAs cannot rely on people to accurately or effectively pat down their own junk. So an ethic of “you pat my junk, I’ll pat yours” is likely to develop. This will quickly morph into “my junk’s OK, your junk’s OK” as Americans realize they’ll never grow safe by sticking their hands in each other’s pants. By this time next year, the whole issue will have gone away as the American “can do” spirit tackles this problem.
Read some of the other “news” items* at the link — John draws the line between satire and reality so fine that even a news junkie like myself has a hard time discerning the difference.
*TSA’s “Pat Downs” Pose Disease Risk,
Prez Gets Fat Lip,
Global Warming Means Lower Death Rates,
Ex-Prez Carter Says Fox Distorts News,
President Says He Is “Extraordinarily Proud” of His Record Thus Far
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