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DUmmie FUnnies 02-12-12 (DUmmies Complain About Grocery Prices)
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | February 12, 2012 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 02/12/2012 6:38:59 AM PST by PJ-Comix

Let me begin this DUFU edition with a blatant self-plug but, as I shall demonstrate, it actually does have to do with the DUFUs. First the blatant plug: My FIRST Kindle article, HOW TO EARN MONEY AT NASCAR RACES, is now available online. It is about how NASCAR fans can earn money while scoring cheap tickets at the NASCAR races. Based on my experiences of following the NASCAR circuit for two full seasons and parts of several more. As I mentioned in the article, I tested out one of the techniques provided in the article just a few weeks ago and it worked beautifully so the information is not outdated.

So how does this shameless bit of self-promotion for my Kindle ARTICLE relate to the DUmmie FUnnies? In two ways. First of all, this DUmmie THREAD, "Wait until you go to the grocery store this week,. I thought I'd faint" demonstrates that they are mostly CLUELESS about how to use coupons to drastically reduce their costs. So guess what my very next Kindle article in the next few weeks will be about? How I use coupons to score FREE/cheap groceries including how I got my Compaq Presario Laptop computer (which I'm typing on now) FREE with coupons. Yes, I will finally reveal my innermost couponing secrets. It will be like Superman revealing to the world that his secret identity is Clark Kent. Also this article will relieve the pressure on DUFU co-conspirator, Charles since I told him the secret of how I scored the FREE computer a couple of years ago and swore him to secrecy. In just a few weeks, after I reveal all in my Kindle article, he will no longer have to carry the awesome burden of carrying that secret around.

Finally my shameless self-plug relates to the DUFUs since after writing a series of Kindle of articles, I am planning on writing a voluminous Kindle book featuring the best of the DUmmie FUnnies with lots of added bonus features with the aforementioned Charles who, relieved of his terrible psychological burden of carrying my computer couponing secret after all these years, will be psychologically fit to co-author the Kindle book with me. I am figuring the book will be at least a thousand, maybe even two thousand, pages long. Hey, there is a lot of DUmmie gold that needs to be highlighted from the best of eight years of the DUFUs. And don't worry, Wee Willie, there will be a SPECIAL chapter of the book devoted to you. Hee! Hee!

Oh, and Mary Matalin...YOU'RE FIRED!!! Hard copy books in the Age of Kindle are no longer needed. As a matter of fact, hard copy books are a hindrance since it would be impossible to publish a book with the voluminous material planned for the DUFU book. I also see such a book as chock full of graphics and links to videos, etc. so it should be very entertaining.

So now that I am done with my seemingly endless self-justification for my Kindle plug (btw, you don't need a Kindle reader to read the material since Kindle software downloads are available free for your computer or other device) let us watch the DUmmies whine helplessly over rising grocery prices in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, never one to miss an opportunity for plugging, is in the [brackets]:

Wait until you go to the grocery store this week,. I thought I'd faint.

[Please don't faint on my coupon pile that allows me to buy the same stuff for FREE or for pennies on the dollar.]

This days shopping experience was the worst yet. I shop circulars and have 3 stores nearby from which I can buy sale items.

[And has it ever occurred to your tiny mine to COMBINE sale items with coupons?]

Today was the worst experience I have had yet. Prices have taken a huge jump since I last shopped. I chatted with many other shoppers and we were all upset. I am alone and buy for myself. My first thought was to wonder how a family with children can hope to put a weeks worth of food on the table.

[Simple. That family simply reads my next Kindle article on how to score all their food items FREE or unbelievably cheap. Oh, and I will also reveal how I got FREE gasoline in the same article. < /sly plug>]

I shop every 3 weeks or so, do not buy junk stuff, only things that are 'food'. I wonder if and when this ridiculous escalation of prices will slow.

[After Barack Obama with his inflationary deficits is REMOVED from office.]

I hope those who have no jobs or are on a very limited budget can find a way to cope.

[Cope and Change...Presidents.]

I live on Social Security and do not have funds to squander. For those without even this benefit, I feel for you.

[Every time you DON'T use coupons you are squandering.]

Who the heck in Washington is watching out for the 99%ers like me who have to eat in order to survive. This whole thing really stinks.

[Mark this DUmmie down for a sure vote for Obama this year despite his misery. And now on to the other clueless DUmmies...]

I think a lot has to do with weather When things were so bad last year, they told us to be prepared for rising prices.

[Warmest winter in years so I think that lame excuse is out the window. Why don't you look at the obvious inflationary cause sitting in the White House?]

I heard on the news that gas will go up here to over $4.00 gallon this summer. That will make everything else go up.

[Did I mention that my next Kindle article will reveal how I scored FREE gasoline for most of the month of this past October?]

Fruits and vegetables? Canned goods? Meats? Milk products? I did not notice anything in LA yet.

[LA? Do they still do double coupons there? That was the first place where I did coupons. One store even TRIPLED coupons a couple of times per year.]

The best I can do is shop carefully. I also make a list of things I need that are available at Dollar Tree. I go there every month or so.

[Dollar Tree? And did you ever consider the Dollar General store because twice a month they have store coupons that knock $5 off a purchase of $25 or more. That is how I scored FREE Airwick Kits with refills this year. Just yesterday I scored a FREE 33 oz can of coffee via the same method. Oh, and the other $25 worth of stuff? I also got that FREE via coupons so all free, free, FREE!!! Details will be provided in my upcoming Kindle article. < /sly plug>]

I do find their prices on things like rubbish and freezer bags to be much cheaper. Condiments, toothbrushes, some shampoo, household cleaners, Sun non-chlorine bleach(great stuff, BTW).

[A buck each. Big deal. I haven't paid a cent for toothpaste, condoms (I mean condiments), shampoo, and household cleaners in years. Even an average couponer can easily score that stuff FREE.]

Walmart is starting to carry fresh produce and it's a ripoff, also.

[Walmart changed their coupon policies almost exactly a year ago and now it is a great place for couponers to shop. Lets see... At Walmart I scored FREE Halibut and basically ANYTHING else I wanted. More to be revealed in my upcoming article. < /sly plug>]

Yeah, it's bad enough with gas at $3.50.

[Folks, you have no idea what a JOY it is to fill up your tank with FREE gasoline. I thought my overwhelming sense of joy would only be for the first time I topped off my tank but the same feeling came back whenever I repeated that back in October. FREEEEEEEE Gaaaasssss.....]

The Fed is inflating the hell out of everything

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

the peanut butter jumped significantly in price from one visit to the next.

[Would you like a bottle from my FREE stock? While you're at it, please take a free bottle of Ken's marinade from my stock as well.]

I couldn't believe over $7.00 for a jar of peanut butter.

[That's your cost DUmmie. My cost is exactly $0.00.]

I happen to be at publix last week. I noticed the JIF was BOGO free. I knew we didn't need any, so I was about to pass it up, then I saw the price $6.99 (I am not sure of the ounces, but it was the biggest one Publix offers). I put 4 of them in my cart.

[And I bet you didn't know Publix allows you to use a coupon on each BOGO item. Even better you can use a manufacturer's coupon AND a Publix coupon on each item. Of course, that might not still get your peanut butter price down to zero. To learn how to do that you will need to read my next Kindle article. < /sly plug>]

Prices are always outrageous here in Los Angeles.

[So that means you are too DUmb to take advantage of the double coupon policies there.]

$8 for Maxwell House pound can o'coffee? That IS 'spensive. I pay $8 for Starbucks at Target.

[I paid $0.00 for 2lb 1 oz of coffee yesterday. I'll toast your idiocy with a cup of that Java.]

If you can use coupons, that's great.

[Yeah, you need a special license to use coupons. Only the privileged one percenters are allowed to do so.]

I should do that more, but I get discouraged because I use so few items that have coupons. I'll check out that link you gave, though.

[Better yet, you should check out my upcoming Kindle article because, as I shall reveal, you don't need coupons for specific items to get the prices reduced. I got that 33 oz can of coffee yesterday with coupons but not specifically for that product.]

I also got my new jammies from Sam's.

[My jammies are also known as underwear.]

woodman`s liqueur store in janesville is huge!

[Did I mention that I have also scored FREE beer and wine via coupons?]

Fortunately, I am a vegetarian and do not have to spend money on meat.

[I'll remember that while eating my FREE Porterhouse steaks since I also do not have to spend money on meat.]

do stores still have the dented can bin? Haven't seen that for years.

[DUmmieland has a dented skull bin.]

I couldn't believe how much milk was the other day, jeez, milk for gods sake is now getting expensive! WTF?

[Thanx for the reminder. I got to remember to pick up a FREE gallon of milk today.]

I am buying fruits and veggies and sunflower seeds and skipping almost everything else.

[Is that you, Bugs Bunny?]

I live mostly off of dried beans, frozen veggies (many at Wegman's are just $1 a bag) and I cook just about everything from scratch.

[It sounds like a court sentenced you to that miserable diet as punishment for being a DUmmie.]

Sigh. I remember when I got my first apartment in 1975. My roommate and I loaded our shopping cart to overflowing and paid twenty-nine dollars and a few cents. And that lasted us most of the summer...

[I can still do the same thing only it costs me less that ten bucks.]

I went from Wisconsin to Illinois and the price for groceries jumped 50%

[And yet you still want Governor Scott Walker recalled, DUmmie.]

We have also noticed that things have shrunk in size but prices stayed the same.

[I'm so sad. Before I could get a 16 oz can for FREE but now I can only get a 12 oz can for FREE.]

Today's shopping list
3 boxes milk duds

[DUds for a DUd DUmmie.]

How long are we all going to take this quietly??

[Just long enough to vote for Obama this November without protest.]

I'm going to start speaking to the store manager when I see that something has jumped dramatically and unprecedentedly.

[You'd be better off speaking to the Meat Manager. I'll explain in the section of my next Kindle article titled, "Meat Managers Are Your Friends." < /sly plug>]

We have seen no big hike recently in Belgium, but I read in Greece produce is like 20% up.

[Greece: Socialist heaven.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: coupons; dummies; groceryprices
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To: PJ-Comix

Sadly coupons aren’t always available.
I spent 87 dollars on gas this last fill up and 52 dollars on a sack of dogfood, 30 pack of beer, a 20 lb sack of ice and a packet of lunch meat.

I have been bitching about the spike in the “Chef Boyardee index” for years.


21 posted on 02/12/2012 8:44:44 AM PST by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: PJ-Comix
Who the heck in Washington is watching out for the 99%ers like me who have to eat in order to survive.

Non-99%ers don't have to eat to survive? Cool! Are they Wraith?

22 posted on 02/12/2012 8:47:51 AM PST by hattend (Jesus wants me to make churches pay for abortions. - Barack Obama)
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To: Veggie Todd; PJ-Comix

I have purchased name brands with still good *best by* dates at Family Dollar. We also buy a lot of basic canned goods at Aldi’s and our only complaints have been about the mixed vegetables for not having much variety in them. Otherwise, the quality is the same as any name brand and we have had no hint of reformulations of out of date food. Any producer/processor doing that is going to risk a huge fine or loss of their business if anyone blows the whistle on them.

The produce at Aldi’s is excellant and way cheaper than even the best-priced local store. I don’t buy their meat, but make an exception for their corned beef, which is routinely 1/3 less than anywhere else.

However: I once purchased a Dollar Store brand of dish detergent, a half gallon for the price of a quart of Ajax. It was so watered down that we went though it really fast. So, no more. However, the big bottle had a removable lid, so now, when my dish detergent is down to the last few inches, I empty it into the big bottle. I manage to keep an extra quart or so around by doing that.

As for coupons: our local stores have cracked down on these, according to the signs posted everywhere. I also find that the coupons are for named brands or items I never buy and do not want or need. In store specials are one of the best buys we usually find. These aren’t advertised, so you have to be in the store to get them. Difficult when we only shop once a month or every 6 weeks.

Sam’s still has 42 ounces of coffee at $15 for whole beans and butter, 4 pounds for $8. You can’t beat them for pasta and rice, either. And we will buy whatever is the best price there on whole muscle meats and portion it ourselves. A Food Saver vacuum device is a great way to preserve anything that can be frozen. I will cook some things in quantity and freeze them in meal-sized portions, which is better than any convenience food I have tried. We grow our own salad produce and dehydrate anything that is in season and can be preserved that way. There is only the 2 of us and while food is much higher than even a year ago, it is still affordable. We see so many folks using their state debit card, that I am amazed the DUmmies are complaining. Out here, a couple can get $350 in food stamps/month.

PJ, I am awed by your dedication to FREE. MEGO when I begin to attempt your various strategies.


23 posted on 02/12/2012 9:34:24 AM PST by reformedliberal
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To: Veggie Todd; PJ-Comix

I have purchased name brands with still good *best by* dates at Family Dollar. We also buy a lot of basic canned goods at Aldi’s and our only complaints have been about the mixed vegetables for not having much variety in them. Otherwise, the quality is the same as any name brand and we have had no hint of reformulations of out of date food. Any producer/processor doing that is going to risk a huge fine or loss of their business if anyone blows the whistle on them.

The produce at Aldi’s is excellant and way cheaper than even the best-priced local store. I don’t buy their meat, but make an exception for their corned beef, which is routinely 1/3 less than anywhere else.

However: I once purchased a Dollar Store brand of dish detergent, a half gallon for the price of a quart of Ajax. It was so watered down that we went though it really fast. So, no more. However, the big bottle had a removable lid, so now, when my dish detergent is down to the last few inches, I empty it into the big bottle. I manage to keep an extra quart or so around by doing that.

As for coupons: our local stores have cracked down on these, according to the signs posted everywhere. I also find that the coupons are for named brands or items I never buy and do not want or need. In store specials are one of the best buys we usually find. These aren’t advertised, so you have to be in the store to get them. Difficult when we only shop once a month or every 6 weeks.

Sam’s still has 42 ounces of coffee at $15 for whole beans and butter, 4 pounds for $8. You can’t beat them for pasta and rice, either. And we will buy whatever is the best price there on whole muscle meats and portion it ourselves. A Food Saver vacuum device is a great way to preserve anything that can be frozen. I will cook some things in quantity and freeze them in meal-sized portions, which is better than any convenience food I have tried. We grow our own salad produce and dehydrate anything that is in season and can be preserved that way. There is only the 2 of us and while food is much higher than even a year ago, it is still affordable. We see so many folks using their state debit card, that I am amazed the DUmmies are complaining. Out here, a couple can get $350 in food stamps/month.

PJ, I am awed by your dedication to FREE. MEGO when I begin to attempt your various strategies.


24 posted on 02/12/2012 9:34:35 AM PST by reformedliberal
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To: PJ-Comix

Not into NASCAR at all, so it’s not worth the buck to me, but when the full book hits Amazon, I hope you deliver more shameless plugs and I’ll get that.


25 posted on 02/12/2012 9:53:29 AM PST by Cyber Liberty ("If the past sits in judgment on the present, the future will be lost." --Winston Churchill)
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To: reformedliberal

I’m a big fan of Aldi’s vegetables and canned goods as well. Budget prices, but really fine quality. I don’t do their meat by and large, but I will occasionally raid the frozen food section.

I kinda like the “Two Buck Chuck” wines I’ve bought there, as well.


26 posted on 02/12/2012 11:33:36 AM PST by DemforBush (Six o'clock in *Berlin*. They were having lunch in Cleveland.)
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To: PJ-Comix

I do my best to buy on sale/in bulk and I’ve worn out three pairs of scissors clipping coupons. I gotta say, though, it’s getting tougher with some things. There was an article posted on FR a couple weeks back claiming beef prices have jumped 23% in the last 12 months, and I absolutely believe it. I’m seeing pot roast cuts starting a $5 a pound in my area. Being a bachelor, I can certainly afford that, because a 2 pound roast will feed my skinny butt for 3 days, if not longer. I know folks with big families, though, that would really feel the pinch at those prices.


27 posted on 02/12/2012 11:46:24 AM PST by DemforBush (Six o'clock in *Berlin*. They were having lunch in Cleveland.)
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To: grey_whiskers
Will look out for you on kindle once I figure out how to download a Kindle reader for my Mac desktop.

You must be using Snow Leopard (10.6.7) or later to get to the Apple App Store. Once you have signed up for a free account (usually your email address) go to the free section and go to the Kindle app and download it.

Mel

28 posted on 02/12/2012 1:14:41 PM PST by grwcfl537 (No M$ products on this network.)
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To: reformedliberal
I couldn't believe over $7.00 for a jar of peanut butter.

LOL! I was just at Walgreens and they had a coupon in their flyer for 2 jars of Jif for just $5.00. I guess the DUmmies are too clueless to just check the store flyers for coupons.

29 posted on 02/12/2012 1:34:32 PM PST by PJ-Comix ("Now I am become Death, destroyer of oysters" ---from the Buffetvad Gita)
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To: DemforBush

We have pretty well stopped buying beef.
We get some ground beef and I’ll add in tofu. Back in the seventies, they actually sold ground beef enriched with soy. We liked it, it was very lean. Once people could afford pure beef again, it went away.

Well, well, well, if we aren’t in the seventies all over again. Except now it’s me, a lb of ground beef and a package of firm tofu in the food processor. Add some egg, Parmesan cheese or breadcrumbs, the mixture makes great meatballs or meatloaf.


30 posted on 02/12/2012 3:43:54 PM PST by netmilsmom (Happiness is a choice)
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To: PJ-Comix

Jif is actually a spread, w/sugar and hydrogenated oil. I think the large jar is 2#. In it’s favor, it has a longer shelf life than pure peanut butter.

We can buy 1# jars of natural peanut butter, no additives, at Walmart for under $4. So, for the same cost-per-ounce, the DUmmie could have purchased something better. We stocked up before the prices rose and have a year’s supply. If the peanut crop has a couple of good years, there could be a glut and the price will go back down.

You have a good point, though: the in-store flyers/specials are usually good deals. All the stores we shop have them at the entrance and at the shelf.


31 posted on 02/12/2012 4:23:44 PM PST by reformedliberal
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To: DemforBush

I have served the $3 Winking Owl wine to folks who were impressed and even more so with the price.

Aldi’s frozen fruit is quite good, too. Every once in a while they will have closeout supplies of something exotic, like smoked almonds, lump crab meat, balsamic vinegar. We have missed their $4 12oz bags of coffee. I still have some stashed, but it gets rotated.

Family Dollar will also sometimes have closeouts of gourmet items.

We eat quite well, IMO, and it does get tiring to do the rounds of various shops for whatever they have that is best and best price, but we do mostly the outside aisles, except for Sam’s, so it isn’t that much walking. Glad I don’t have to do a major shopping every week, though. I can see where it is difficult these days to shop for a large family.


32 posted on 02/12/2012 4:58:34 PM PST by reformedliberal
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To: GourmetDan

**** “Problem now is, if you remove ethanol from the equation, corn prices and the farm economy will collapse”****

BS

If they end the subsidies prior to planting ... no problem ... if they end it after planting the Crop Insurance Industry takes a big hit ... IF Farmers have the Insurance and didn’t read the Tea Leaves ...

Artificially Inflated Prices are a huge Gamble... as big as the Weather ... Farmers / Ranchers are Gamblers, they know the odds

JMHO

TT


33 posted on 02/12/2012 8:07:22 PM PST by TexasTransplant (Radical islam is islam. Moderate islam is the Trojan Horse.)
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To: PJ-Comix

Kindle article? Are you writing a Kindle article?

News to me! Could I have a link?

heh heh


34 posted on 02/13/2012 7:43:12 AM PST by kimmie7 (I do not think BO is the antichrist, but he may very well be 665.)
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To: PJ-Comix

Grocery prices too high? No problem! Obama can just nationalize the grocery store chains, just like his buddy, Hugo Chavez, would do.

(Is a /sarc tag REALLY necessary here?)


35 posted on 02/13/2012 8:46:40 AM PST by Purrcival (Herman Cain 2012 (*sigh*))
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To: PJ-Comix

Hey DUmmies,

You know all that “free” stuff you want? Well, this is how it is paid for. As the great Dr. Sowell would say, Stage 1 thinkers are always surprised at the outcomes of their policies.

You are all fools.


36 posted on 02/13/2012 9:31:04 AM PST by CSM (Keeper of the "Dave Ramsey Fan" ping list. FReepmail me if you want your beeber stuned.)
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To: Purrcival

BTW, I just published a NEW Kindle article partly so I can practice formatting. It mostly seemed to work this time. I have to wait a few hours until the article goes live but it is about the best UNKNOWN actor in Hollywood. I’ll give you a hint: Exeter.


37 posted on 02/13/2012 2:53:52 PM PST by PJ-Comix ("Now I am become Death, destroyer of oysters" ---from the Buffetvad Gita)
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To: GourmetDan

US Farm Report (RTD Network) reports that there will be many more fields planted in corn this year. At harvest time, the supply of corn should be up dramatically, lowering the price.


38 posted on 02/13/2012 4:54:18 PM PST by CIDKauf (No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.)
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To: Tupelo

Ron Paul is just as much a moron in foreign policy as Urkel but he would be infinitely preferable to him because his economic and financial policies are saner. I would definitely vote for Paul over the Fraud.

Does anyone know if Urkel ever even took an economics class? Why don’t we know about such things? Why don’t we ever hear from his classmates? Who is this guy, really?


39 posted on 02/15/2012 4:06:32 PM PST by arrogantsob (Obama must Go.)
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To: DemforBush

If that is the Charles Shaw wine that Trader Joe carries I have to say I had a bottle of the merlot last week and it is so bad I am only going to use it for cooking. I’ll happily pay the four bucks for a nice Italian import from TJ’s. There was another CS wine which I do not like but can’t remember which one it was but it was bad enough for me to stop buying CS. This last one was given to me. TJ has a really nice selection of wines and it and Aldi are owned by the same corporation so they may have the same wine selection. If they do, try one of the other wines you will see how much better in quality an Italian wine is.


40 posted on 02/15/2012 4:16:42 PM PST by arrogantsob (Obama must Go.)
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