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Gangway Or Sickbay. You Decide.
Alan Levy's Brain | 02/16/13 | Alan Levy, Gun Owner

Posted on 02/16/2013 3:35:33 PM PST by Absolutely Nobama

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1 posted on 02/16/2013 3:35:41 PM PST by Absolutely Nobama
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To: Old Sarge; azishot; little jeremiah; dead; shibumi; MestaMachine; narses; erod; mnehring; ...

Short-story-with-a-point ping!

Hat tip to TheOldLady for her valuable proofreading and help!


2 posted on 02/16/2013 3:42:10 PM PST by Absolutely Nobama (The Doomsday Clock is at 11:59:00......tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.....)
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Comment #3 Removed by Moderator

To: Absolutely Nobama; WXRGina

Really good! I think you may have started something.


4 posted on 02/16/2013 4:03:49 PM PST by logitech (Who's here so vile, that will not love his country? If any speak, for him I have offended)
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To: Absolutely Nobama

I like the way Alan Levy thinks. Absolutely prestidigious.


5 posted on 02/16/2013 4:03:57 PM PST by philman_36 (Pride breakfasted with plenty, dined with poverty, and supped with infamy. Benjamin Franklin)
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

True, but that wasn’t in Jack’s character.

I envisioned Jack as someone who was apolitical. I envisioned him as an ordinary Joe living a ho-hum life until his family was crushed by the Authoritarian Left.


6 posted on 02/16/2013 4:04:29 PM PST by Absolutely Nobama (The Doomsday Clock is at 11:59:00......tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.....)
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To: logitech

Gosh, thank you FRiend!


7 posted on 02/16/2013 4:06:06 PM PST by Absolutely Nobama (The Doomsday Clock is at 11:59:00......tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.....)
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To: Absolutely Nobama

Wow Absolutely, an absolutely stunning story. Completely believable as well. Thanks for sharing.


8 posted on 02/16/2013 4:10:03 PM PST by davisfh
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To: Absolutely Nobama
I envisioned Jack as someone who was apolitical. I envisioned him as an ordinary Joe living a ho-hum life until his family was crushed by the Authoritarian Left.

Why would anybody want to read something so depressing?

Is your purpose to inspire people with hope, or make them want to off themselves?

9 posted on 02/16/2013 4:10:33 PM PST by E. Pluribus Unum ("Somebody has to be courageous enough to stand up to the bullies." --Dr. Ben Carson)
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To: philman_36

Alan Levy is my alter-ego.....I’m a salesman of middling worth by day and Right-Wing Avenger by night.....

All kidding aside, thanks for the kind words, FRiend!


10 posted on 02/16/2013 4:11:20 PM PST by Absolutely Nobama (The Doomsday Clock is at 11:59:00......tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.....)
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To: davisfh

Gosh, I don’t know what to say other than thank you.


11 posted on 02/16/2013 4:14:20 PM PST by Absolutely Nobama (The Doomsday Clock is at 11:59:00......tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.....)
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To: Absolutely Nobama

Too bad Tyler couldn’t overcome the trauma of what these government hags did to him. A more satisfactory ending, for me, would be him as an adult delivering some payback, and letting them know why, not that they would get a real clue as to the error of their ways anyway.


12 posted on 02/16/2013 4:15:21 PM PST by coydog (Time to feed the pigs!)
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

My purpose was to make people think. Nothing more, nothing less.


13 posted on 02/16/2013 4:19:47 PM PST by Absolutely Nobama (The Doomsday Clock is at 11:59:00......tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.....)
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To: Absolutely Nobama
Of a similar vein and always worthy reading... Sundown at Coffin Rock
14 posted on 02/16/2013 4:20:13 PM PST by philman_36 (Pride breakfasted with plenty, dined with poverty, and supped with infamy. Benjamin Franklin)
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To: Absolutely Nobama
Everybody here already knows where we're headed.

What we're trying to figure out is how to stop it.

15 posted on 02/16/2013 4:24:58 PM PST by E. Pluribus Unum ("Somebody has to be courageous enough to stand up to the bullies." --Dr. Ben Carson)
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To: Absolutely Nobama

I like this ending better:

Jack, recognizing from his military training he was behind enemy lines, played the poor traumatized soldier for the principal and doctor, agreeing with everything they said. He left the school that day with orders to attend sensitivity training along with anger management counseling, which he did for the next several weeks.

Surprisingly, after the school’s ‘Winter Solstice’ break, neither the principal nor the school’s psychologist returned for work. They had both gone away on vacation and nobody ever heard from them again. Jack ran for local office and won several elections, which eventually led to a successful run for Congress. He was always known as a very calculating, intelligent person, and he was instrumental in overturning several years’ worth of poor legislation.

The End.


16 posted on 02/16/2013 4:25:41 PM PST by GreyHoundSailor
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To: Absolutely Nobama
Damn impressive


17 posted on 02/16/2013 4:26:42 PM PST by darkwing104 (Let's get dangerous)
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To: Absolutely Nobama

That is very believable, unfortunately


18 posted on 02/16/2013 4:27:06 PM PST by GeronL (http://asspos.blogspot.com)
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To: coydog

In the original version of this story, Tyler grows up and runs for the Senate with intention to have the “Freedom From Violence Act of 2015” repealed.

I changed the ending because I wanted to illustrate just how insidiously evil liberalism and how it destroys those it claims to help.

Is it an unhappy ending ? Yes. Does liberalism ever create happy endings ? No.


19 posted on 02/16/2013 4:27:19 PM PST by Absolutely Nobama (The Doomsday Clock is at 11:59:00......tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.....)
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

“Everybody here already knows where we’re headed.”

True, but reminders never hurt.


20 posted on 02/16/2013 4:31:52 PM PST by Absolutely Nobama (The Doomsday Clock is at 11:59:00......tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.....)
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To: Absolutely Nobama
I decided. Way too wordy, too much needless conversation, and too long.

I suspect you made a good point, but couldn't read the thing. Brevity is the soul of wit; this runs some 2,260 words -- give or take.

The usual newspaper editorial is limited to 600-700 words.

Rewrite!

21 posted on 02/16/2013 4:32:37 PM PST by BfloGuy (Money, like chocolate on a hot oven, was melting in the pockets of the people.)
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To: philman_36

Bookmarked for a later read. Thank you!


22 posted on 02/16/2013 4:34:17 PM PST by Absolutely Nobama (The Doomsday Clock is at 11:59:00......tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.....)
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To: Absolutely Nobama

Very well written and “readable”. And sadly could be a look into our not to distant future.


23 posted on 02/16/2013 4:36:04 PM PST by berdie
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To: darkwing104

Greatly appreciated! Thank you, FRiend!


24 posted on 02/16/2013 4:36:25 PM PST by Absolutely Nobama (The Doomsday Clock is at 11:59:00......tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.....)
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To: Absolutely Nobama; Travis McGee

It’s pretty short. I guess it could be just one small part of a book showing how this country ends up in a civil war or something.

Well done!

Travis McGee would..er... will be proud.


25 posted on 02/16/2013 4:38:11 PM PST by GeronL (http://asspos.blogspot.com)
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To: GreyHoundSailor

As I stated earlier, I envisioned Jack as your everyday Joe. That wouldn’t be in his character.


26 posted on 02/16/2013 4:38:58 PM PST by Absolutely Nobama (The Doomsday Clock is at 11:59:00......tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.....)
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To: Absolutely Nobama; navymom1; Pat4ever; RIghtwardHo; Reaganite Republican; ...
+

Freep-mail me to get on or off my pro-life and Catholic List:

Add me / Remove me

Please ping me to note-worthy Pro-Life or Catholic threads, or other threads of general interest.

27 posted on 02/16/2013 4:40:41 PM PST by narses
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To: GeronL

I have this odd feeling we’ll see how realistic it is rather soon. I don’t see Boehner or McConnell stepping up to the plate and fighting the intrigues of the Evil Left anytime soon.


28 posted on 02/16/2013 4:43:03 PM PST by Absolutely Nobama (The Doomsday Clock is at 11:59:00......tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.....)
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To: Absolutely Nobama
Bttt.

5.56mm

29 posted on 02/16/2013 4:43:44 PM PST by M Kehoe
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To: Absolutely Nobama

No they won’t and pointing it out will just make them sad. :p


30 posted on 02/16/2013 4:44:41 PM PST by GeronL (http://asspos.blogspot.com)
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To: BfloGuy

It’s a short story, not an editorial. I don’t usually write fiction. It’s too time consuming.


31 posted on 02/16/2013 4:45:12 PM PST by Absolutely Nobama (The Doomsday Clock is at 11:59:00......tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.....)
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To: berdie

Thanks for the kind words, FRiend!


32 posted on 02/16/2013 4:47:01 PM PST by Absolutely Nobama (The Doomsday Clock is at 11:59:00......tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.....)
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To: Absolutely Nobama

I do appreciate that, but I have many ‘everyday Joe’ neighbors who were also former trigger pullers. They all think very differently than your everyday Simpleton.


33 posted on 02/16/2013 4:48:26 PM PST by GreyHoundSailor
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To: GeronL

My beautiful wife, Mrs. Absolutely Nobama, wants me to turn this into a script for one of those Lifetime Original Movies. While I certainly appreciate her vote of confidence, I don’t think it would ever see the light of day as a book or a screenplay, unless I made Jack “Jackie” and turned him into an angry LGBT loon striking back at a religious school....


34 posted on 02/16/2013 4:55:32 PM PST by Absolutely Nobama (The Doomsday Clock is at 11:59:00......tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.....)
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To: narses

Greatly appreciated, FRiend!


35 posted on 02/16/2013 4:56:42 PM PST by Absolutely Nobama (The Doomsday Clock is at 11:59:00......tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.....)
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To: M Kehoe

Thank you, FRiend!


36 posted on 02/16/2013 4:59:11 PM PST by Absolutely Nobama (The Doomsday Clock is at 11:59:00......tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.....)
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To: GreyHoundSailor

>>They had both gone away on vacation and nobody ever heard from them again.<<

I really LOL at that!

I like your ending.


37 posted on 02/16/2013 4:59:43 PM PST by freedumb2003 (I learned everything I needed to know about racism from Colin Powell)
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To: GeronL

You got that right! LOL!!


38 posted on 02/16/2013 5:01:00 PM PST by Absolutely Nobama (The Doomsday Clock is at 11:59:00......tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.....)
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To: Absolutely Nobama

I actually had the same thought as your better half re:movie script. So that is two votes.

It would be a labor of love to expand the story line..but I think it could sell.

Maybe not to Lifetime. Not enough emotional drama, i.e. wife poisons husband, husband has multiple wives, or pregnant teen etc.


39 posted on 02/16/2013 5:04:45 PM PST by berdie
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To: Absolutely Nobama

I agree with you, they’d never make it “our” way


40 posted on 02/16/2013 5:06:10 PM PST by GeronL (http://asspos.blogspot.com)
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To: GreyHoundSailor

As do I. But like I said, it just wasn’t in Jack’s character. We’re all individuals.


41 posted on 02/16/2013 5:14:24 PM PST by Absolutely Nobama (The Doomsday Clock is at 11:59:00......tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.....)
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To: berdie

Maybe. One never knows....

Thanks once again!


42 posted on 02/16/2013 5:16:39 PM PST by Absolutely Nobama (The Doomsday Clock is at 11:59:00......tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.....)
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To: GeronL

Yep......


43 posted on 02/16/2013 5:17:59 PM PST by Absolutely Nobama (The Doomsday Clock is at 11:59:00......tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.....)
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To: Absolutely Nobama

I’ve written stories, I never seem to finish them


44 posted on 02/16/2013 5:24:55 PM PST by GeronL (http://asspos.blogspot.com)
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To: GeronL

I did finish this one:

http://libertyfic.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=scifi&action=display&thread=215


45 posted on 02/16/2013 5:29:13 PM PST by GeronL (http://asspos.blogspot.com)
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To: Absolutely Nobama

Good psychological portrait of the characters in the coming American tragedy.

I wish the outcome were different for Jack and Tyler, but this is the true one. Nothing to add or subtract.


46 posted on 02/16/2013 5:29:36 PM PST by annalex (fear them not)
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To: Absolutely Nobama

Oh great, some quarterwit from DU will read this and get ideas.


47 posted on 02/16/2013 5:42:17 PM PST by mountn man (ATTITUDE- The Pleasure You Get From Life, Is Equal To The Attitude You Put Into It.)
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To: GeronL

I bookmarked that link for a later read. Looks good!


48 posted on 02/16/2013 5:44:42 PM PST by Absolutely Nobama (The Doomsday Clock is at 11:59:00......tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.....)
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To: annalex

Thanks for the kind words, FRiend!


49 posted on 02/16/2013 5:46:24 PM PST by Absolutely Nobama (The Doomsday Clock is at 11:59:00......tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.....)
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To: Absolutely Nobama
My purpose was to make people think. Nothing more, nothing less.

It did and I'm thinking about YOUR mental health......just sayin

50 posted on 02/16/2013 5:50:27 PM PST by Hot Tabasco (Jab her with a harpoon or just throw her from the train......)
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