DOJ Refuses to Press Charges for IRS Abuses [Satire]

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 17 Jan 2014 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

After investigating the IRS's discriminatory treatment of the President's political opponents, Barbara Bosserman, a lawyer in the Department of Justice’s civil rights division, has determined that “no charges will be filed.”

“It is clear that the individuals involved were working under a 'good faith' assumption that their actions were in concert with the President's wishes,” Bosserman said. “No civil servant should have to face criminal charges for faithfully carrying out government policy. To do otherwise would unleash a cascade of hesitancy and second-guessing throughout the ranks of the bureaucracy. Discipline would be undermined if each employee had to wonder whether what he was doing is legal instead of just following orders.”

Bosserman characterized the complaints lodged against the IRS as “a political dispute. If the critics of the policy of greater scrutiny toward so-called Tea Party and patriotic political organizations have a beef it is with the President, not his minions. The remedy for a Presidential abuse of power under our Constitution is impeachment. Rather than harassing the President's underlings they should be following the steps prescribed in this document they say they venerate.”

House oversight committee chairman Representative Darrell Issa (R-Calif) professed “profound disappointment in Ms. Bosserman's sham investigation. The Administration is basically stonewalling any inquiry. They are confident that even if the House took action on this impeachable abuse of power the Democrats in the Senate would ensure that the President suffers no consequences. The Constitution's mechanisms against tyranny are ineffective when a sufficient number of those entrusted with them acquiesce in the abuses.”

In related news, the just passed “omnibus bill” contains language that explicitly authorizes the IRS to deny tax-exempt status to “political” groups like the Tea Party under 501(c)(4) rules while simultaneously exempting “non-political” groups like unions under 501(c)(5) rules. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev) justified the distinction contending that “the Tea Party's sole purpose is to question the policies of the government. This is clearly prohibited political advocacy. Unions, on the other hand, work to support the policies of the government. This is clearly protected educational and patriotic activity.”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/148813-2014-01-17-semi-news-a-satire-of-recent-news-january-19-2014.htm

[John Semmens]

ping

[Graewoulf]

Can you say “Holder’s DOJ Coverup of IRS bullying Conservatives?”

[Cyber Liberty]

In related news, the just passed “omnibus bill” contains language that explicitly authorizes the IRS to deny tax-exempt status to “political” groups like the Tea Party under 501(c)(4) rules while simultaneously exempting “non-political” groups like unions under 501(c)(5) rules.

This part is 100% true, non-satire. This is a sad time for America.

[Tallguy]

““It is clear that the individuals involved were working under a ‘good faith’ assumption that their actions were in concert with the President’s wishes,” Bosserman said. “No civil servant should have to face criminal charges for faithfully carrying out government policy. To do otherwise would unleash a cascade of hesitancy and second-guessing throughout the ranks of the bureaucracy. Discipline would be undermined if each employee had to wonder whether what he was doing is legal instead of just following orders.””

There it is Ladies & Gentlemen: The Nuremberg Defense (I vas just following orderz!)

[chiefqc]

Does anyone expect anything less from the mac daddy administration?

[Chode]

i guess they are afraid that the IRS will make them investigate themselves...

[spawn44]

WITHOLDER is well WITHHOLDING

[Seaplaner]

Another positive cited by Figueres was the huge death toll attributed to communist regimes. “Just consider the added contribution the 90 million people killed by communist massacres, purges, and slave labor camps would have made to global warming had they lived,” Figueres observed. “Only communist governments can be counted on to make these kinds of sacrifices for the greater good of the planet.”

Satire?

Maybe not so much.

Thanks John for another good-but-scary column.

.

[cousin01]

Now if she will just testify to that fact at Obamas impeachment trial, we’ve got him!

[Chode]

yup...

[BigDaddyTX]

Tsk tsk John...

[fuzzylogic]

...it is also an admission that the directives came from the President no?

[BigDaddyTX]

Hmmm.... which ones are worth our time clicking on and which ones are satire?

[zeugma]

Discipline would be undermined if each employee had to wonder whether what he was doing is legal instead of just following orders.”

Wow. So now the Nuremberg Defence is official government policy? Words fail. Do these people even read what they write?

 

[Lazamataz]

I know you mark this as semi-satire, but it’s not. It’s hardcore reporting.

[BigDaddyTX]

It's satire, John gets a tingle up his leg when he tricks people into clicking on his post when (judging by the title they are presented with) they expect real news/info. He figures the extra clicks, time, bandwidth on your end as well as our gracious host's is worth the tingle.

[Rocky]

What part of this is satire? It all sounds true to me.

[Mmmike]

He posts countless satires but very few hard-and-fast news items, if any. In my opinion, he’s pushing it. I don’t want to wade through one fake headline after another to get to some real information.

[berdie]

Semmens is a satirist. And a darn good one at that.

Sadly, most of his articles have become truth. Like this one for instance. It IS real information. I read the news...so I can tell the difference.