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Kerry Makes Case for Global Warming as Mankind's Greatest Threat
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 15 Aug 2014 | John Semmens

Posted on 08/15/2014 8:11:52 PM PDT by John Semmens

US Secretary of State John Kerry continues to baffle observers by insisting that "global warming is, by far, the greatest threat mankind faces in the 21st century."

"The reason should be obvious from the term 'global' warming," Kerry said. "This means that it affects everyone. This has to put it ahead of dangers that afflict necessarily narrower categories of victims. The beheading of innocent children by ISIS in Iraq, for example, only affects thousands of people."

"The threat to wipe Israel off the map and exterminate the Jews, at worst, would entail the deaths of only a few million," Kerry continued. "Juxtaposed to this limited atrocity, the ecological damage from global warming is vaster by an order of magnitude. Billions will be faced with excruciatingly relentless rises in temperature. Trying to stay cool will be an endless task. The cost and discomfort of attempting to cope will easily outweigh the momentary pain of being blown apart by a suicide bomber or having your throat slit by a jihadi."

"In a way it could be said that massacres serve to ameliorate the impact of global warming," Kerry pointed out. "The fewer humans there are, the less pressure they will put on the ecosystem's carrying power. So, while it is not their intent to fight global warming groups like ISIS and Hamas are inadvertently contributing toward a brighter future for the planet. We should not overlook this mitigating factor."

While Kerry appears to imagine himself a great thinker able to see past the "minor skirmishes" that most see as the main concern of the nation's chief diplomat, a recent editorial in Investors Business Daily characterized his contention that global warming is the more serious threat as "dangerously moronic."

Kerry does appear to be at some risk of getting out of step with his boss, though. Just this week President Obama declared "conservative maximalists" to be the biggest threat. "The essence of a successful community is universal cooperation for the collective benefit of all," the President said. "This requires compromise. Yet, there is a contingent within that continues to take the extreme position that certain so-called fundamental rights are immutable. This contingent of conservative maximalists is more dangerous than any other enemy we face."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/161283-2014-08-15-semi-news-a-satire-of-recent-news-august-17-2014.htm


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: climate; climatechange; globalwarming; globalwarminghoax; islam; johnkerry; kerry; lurch; opec; satire; soskerry
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1 posted on 08/15/2014 8:11:52 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

hmm.... I wonder if global warming is just a liberal’s repressed fear of Hell.


2 posted on 08/15/2014 8:14:25 PM PDT by longfellowsmuse (last of the living nomads)
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To: John Semmens

Nice try....


3 posted on 08/15/2014 8:14:59 PM PDT by Paladin2
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To: John Semmens

Hey Jerk, it is 52 degrees here in the Detroit area on our “hot August night”.


4 posted on 08/15/2014 8:20:30 PM PDT by kempster
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To: longfellowsmuse

Great point! Lol!


5 posted on 08/15/2014 8:21:32 PM PDT by doc1019
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To: John Semmens

“Global warming killed Ho Chi Minh!”


6 posted on 08/15/2014 8:24:50 PM PDT by FlingWingFlyer (America is not a refugee camp! It's my home!)
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To: John Semmens

Mankinds Greatest Threat” is a White House run by a bunch of clueless, corrupted ideologues, that have no idea what they are doing.


7 posted on 08/15/2014 8:28:21 PM PDT by tcrlaf (Q)
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To: John Semmens
How is your post semi-news?

Kerry Promotes Climate-Change Mitigation Funding on Trip in the Pacific

8 posted on 08/15/2014 8:31:28 PM PDT by Sir Napsalot (Pravda + Useful Idiots = CCCP; JournOList + Useful Idiots = DopeyChangey!)
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To: John Semmens; WVKayaker; 2ndDivisionVet; kingattax; AlexW; laplata; melsec

Excellent John, as usual.


9 posted on 08/15/2014 8:31:54 PM PDT by Mark17 (Obama & Nero? Both Emperors. The difference is Nero played a fiddle, while Obama plays a "flute")
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To: #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 2ndDivisionVet; 3D-JOY; 43north; ...

ping


10 posted on 08/15/2014 8:35:52 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Physically abusing a deceased equine.


11 posted on 08/15/2014 8:38:29 PM PDT by ThunderSleeps (Stop obarma now! Stop the hussein - insane agenda!)
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To: John Semmens

Is it getting a little warm in here?


12 posted on 08/15/2014 8:39:42 PM PDT by marron
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To: John Semmens

We are Lurching towards Gomorrah.


13 posted on 08/15/2014 8:39:53 PM PDT by Rocky (The further a society drifts from the truth, the more it will hate those who speak it. George Orwell)
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To: John Semmens

Does the left think people don’t notice how cold this summer has been? I really hope our presidential candidate studies the facts on this and explains how this is just a get rich scheme for certain people.


14 posted on 08/15/2014 8:41:30 PM PDT by Linda Frances (Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness.)
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To: John Semmens
No border, there is. Kill millions of people in the USA terrorists will. Focus on false science Kerry does. Very evil, this is.
15 posted on 08/15/2014 8:42:43 PM PDT by GrandJediMasterYoda (Hitlery: Incarnation of evil.)
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To: John Semmens; tbw2
A serious reminder of a great global warming article on FR One engineers' perspective on global warming Long, but a must read. Other than that, you've captured the essence of the fanatic once again, John.
16 posted on 08/15/2014 8:47:17 PM PDT by JimSEA
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To: John Semmens

Uh, sorry John....it’s Muslims.


17 posted on 08/15/2014 8:57:17 PM PDT by fhayek
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To: fhayek
Not you John, the otherJohn. The one who served in Viet Nam. (I hope you didn't serve in Viet Nam). You got me again, Mr Semmens.
18 posted on 08/15/2014 9:01:52 PM PDT by fhayek
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To: longfellowsmuse

Kerry needs professional help.


19 posted on 08/15/2014 9:08:33 PM PDT by Steelfish (ui)
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To: John Semmens

No way I can add to what you have already written!


20 posted on 08/15/2014 9:12:04 PM PDT by berdie
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