Posted on 12/29/2014 6:38:35 PM PST by Kartographer
Because obviously being a lying, cheating, family abandon-er trumps anything I did to our marriage in the past decade. Right?
Wrong.
I deflected any and all culpability in the failure of my marriage for months, holding on to the picture I painted of myself as the gentle, selfless and long-suffering wife. It wasn't until I found a therapist who called me out on my bullsh*t that I was forced to take a long, hard look at my shortcomings.
It wasn't pretty.
Here's what I now know actually screwed up my marriage. May it serve as a warning to you. Before it's too late.
(Excerpt) Read more at huffingtonpost.com ...
You are very welcome! I love sharing that site because the change in our marriage was a miracle :-)
Thaks..but that is her.
I was always disappointed by the ending of Play Misty for Me. All throughout the flick, she terrorizes him and then he ends it quick at the end. I wanted to see her go through some pain for awhile before cashing it in.
The first Coen brothes movie. Very, very good and put them on the map.
My ex mother-in-law told my daughter (her granddaughter from when I was married to her daughter) that she wishes her daughter had stuck with me or found someone like me to end up with. I wasn't an angel in my first marriage, but it is nice (in a sad way) for my ex's mother to grasp that.
It was a circuitous route, but I never did have the delusion I was liberal in any way, shape or form. :)
Here it is. YourTango.com has a search function in the upper left next to login (looks like a magnifying glass) not easy to see.
http://www.yourtango.com/2014245688/4-big-mistakes-i-made-wife-psst-im-ex-wife-now#.VKK4hCfA
2. I didn’t set (or enforce) boundaries with my parents.
They were at our house frequently, sometimes arriving unannounced and walking right in. They’d “help out” around the house doing things we never asked them to, like folding our laundry (incorrectly, of course). We’d vacation with them. They’d correct our children in front of us. My own fears of upsetting my parents kept me from drawing a line in the sand and asking them not to cross it. The few times I did stand up for my family’s autonomy, I didn’t hold my parents to the same standards in future. My husband, quite literally, married my entire family
I agree with this 95%. If you(the parents) are visiting the kids in THEIR house then it is THIER rules. If they are in YOUR house then it is YOUR Rules(those who make the mortgage payment(s) set the rules)!
BULLSHIT! They will get themselves and ALL of their Family(Father, Mother, Sisters, Brothers, Aunts, Uncles(ON AND ON)) over here(The US) and THEN they will start sucking the life blood out of you AFTER they HOOK UP with ALL of the Asians that are over here(I was US Navy for 20+ years so I have seen ALL of this FIRSTHAND)!
At YOU married? You sound like s SELF-CENTERED Turd!
Their are actually Asians that are already in the USA and are citizens. Yeah really.
I have seen the same behavior in “christian” women, many times. It is a female wiring problem. They tend to pick guys they can “fix”.
Kind of sounds like we need understand priorities when we are married.... it is not about us... it is about being humble, loving and forgiving....
A man of courage and strength will strive for placing such in his day-to-day life:
- God First... He is the leader of our home
- Wife second... honor her as a gift from God
- Children... without the above two in order... your children will suffer... they are your responsibility... not your friend..
- Work... it is our obligation to do what is necessary to support our family...
Emulate Christ and His bride the Church... He did not come to be served... but to serve.
Easier said than done... but it sounds like this women has come to the similar conclusions....
I read a list, once, of the things you have to put up with even then -
like, “Hello Kitty” overload, constant calls “home”, etc.
I don't know...some of those mail-order Filipino brides can be b**l busters instead of pliant little flowers.
“It should come as no surprise when attractive young married women get hit on when they do their hubby complaining in public. It is a irresistible call for “side action” a lot of guys capitalize on....”
A lot of attractive young women act on it too, then the complaining wife’s husband goes to bed somewhere else. Seen that scenario more often than the one you mention.
Marriage is a full time investment of your lives, and when treated as such is wonderful. Took me and Mrs. BCC awhile to figure this out, with the help of a good pastor and church family. Praise God!
Here’s the video: http://youtu.be/zYGJkdJ1WG4
Respect the differences between male and female. Don't try to turn your husband into a pseudo-girlfriend.
Don't let yourself go physically. And men, this goes for YOU, too.
But these?
" We don’t remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand."
Not buying it. If after eighteen years of marriage, my husband couldn't remember my birthday or our anniversary, there would be no excuse. He has no problem doing so.
" Check your oil! Please."
Oh, heck no. Forget that. Keeping up the vehicles is his territory. Don't ask me to change the oil, and I won't expect you to do the laundry.
“Of the latter (at least), verbal abuse is mentally equal to being pushed/punched/slapped/etc. Those of the first two types may wonder what the big deal is, contending that actual physical abuse is actionable in ways verbal/emotional isn’t; they don’t understand that some brains are wired such that there isn’t a difference.”
Thanks for this. It explains a lot about who I am.
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