Posted on 08/23/2016 8:34:16 AM PDT by John Semmens
Writing for Wonkette, Rebecca Schoenkopf expressed her opinion that Bill Clinton probably did rape Juanita Broaddrick back in 1978, but that this doesn't necessarily make him an "evil person."
"Let's look at the facts of that particular case," Schoenkopf argued. "First, Bill showed he cared by advising Juanita to put some ice on her lip that he bit. Second, he called her later to apologize. This is a level of concern that most rapists don't show. Third, while there has been a string of alleged improprieties involving indecent exposure, molestation, and sexual indiscretions since then there haven't been anymore rapes."
"Against this inappropriate abuse of women we need to weigh the good he has done for America," Schoenkopf insisted. "He served two successful terms as president. He introduced his wonderful wife Hillary to a nation starved for genuine female heroes. He raised his family out of bankruptcy after leaving the White House via a series of fabulous speeches and crafty business deals that built the Clinton Foundation into a multimillion dollar charity juggernaut. So, I think the pluses outweigh the minuses."
Schoenkopf said she trusts Bill Clinton's promise "to cease his pay-for-play efforts if Hillary is elected by stepping down from his job as head of the Clinton Foundation. The media spotlight on the first female president will be too bright for any of that type of skulduggery to go unnoticed. And I think Bill is too decrepit to woo any interns inside the White House. Any shenanigans would, I'm sure, involve professional women and take place in more discreet locations."
In related news, a new NBC News|SurveyMonkey Weekly Election Tracking poll found that only 12% of Democrats see their Party's presidential candidate as honest and trustworthy. Clinton supporter Gov. Maggie Hassan (D-NH) brushed this finding aside saying that "choosing a dishonest person over an unfit person should be an easy one for voters to make. Isn't a liar who can get the job done preferable to a politically inexperienced naif?"
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php/topic,221323.0.html
As usual, so close to the truth that it is on the edge of being humorous.
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