Posted on 07/27/2020 12:47:47 PM PDT by John Semmens
Gov. Gretchen Whitmer (D-Mich) issued an executive order cutting $115 million from the State Police budget. In addition, she also cut $392 million from the Department of Corrections. She characterized the cuts as a "crime reduction" measure.
"I got the idea from the way we are recording and reporting the coronavirus statistics," she said. "The more tests we take the more COVID-positive cases we find. This makes the pandemic look worse than it really is. Well, what if the same is true of our state's crime statistics? If we put fewer police out there fewer crimes will be uncovered. If we have fewer prisons to house convicted offenders the population of incarcerated persons will decline. This will make the state seem more law-abiding than it really is."
Whitmer defended this statistical manipulation, calling it "good for the state's economy. A lower reported crime rate will attract more businesses and residents to our state. This, in turn, will boost state tax collections. The increased revenues will enable us to fund more social programs and garner more votes for the Democratic Party in subsequent elections. It's a 'win-win' outcome for all Michiganders."
Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden called Whitmer's action "an important breakthrough that has put her back in the race to be my vice-presidential running mate. This is the kind of creative and inspired leadership this nation needs to recover from the mismanagement that has characterized the Trump Administration."
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php?topic=409395.0
I know it says “satire” in the title, but are you SURE it is?
The absurd just seems so plausible these days.
The people of Michigan will pay for this lady’s ego. If you cut the police, you get criminals rising. Just watch!
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