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The redneck Christmas lighting contest
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Posted on 12/24/2004, 12:14:23 PM by DirtyHarryY2K

Rules and regulations

10. Lights covered with shotgun shells get a five point bonus.

9. A turn signal stuck in the on position of a car parked on the lawn does not qualify as a decoration.

8. Mounted animals may be used in nativity scene, but taxidermist's credit must be available (fish are NOT animals).

7. A maximum of three vehicles on blocks may be decorated at any one time.

6. Live babies used in nativity scene must be brought inside at night.

5. Lights that have been left up all year get 10 bonus points if still working.

4. Dogs with reindeer antlers are permitted and encouraged.

3. Beer cans strung on fishing line are not considered ornaments unless they're hung on the Christmas tree.

2. Singing fish do not count as Christmas carolers.

1. Joe Bob's red longhandle underwear wit' the flapper in th' back does not count as a Santa Suit. <


TOPICS: Cheese, Moose, Sister; Humor
KEYWORDS: redneck
ROFL.
1 posted on 12/24/2004, 12:14:23 PM by DirtyHarryY2K
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To: DirtyHarryY2K

#5 LMAO! My Grandparents left a fully decorated artificial tree up for about 5 yrs straight. The lights, ornaments anf tinsel had FUSED to the tree and held together when it was finally thrown away.


2 posted on 12/24/2004, 12:17:38 PM by SirLurkedalot (Merry Christmas and Happy Hannukah!!!)
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To: DirtyHarryY2K
Here's your sign....


3 posted on 12/24/2004, 12:20:02 PM by mhking
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To: mhking


4 posted on 12/24/2004, 12:35:09 PM by DirtyHarryY2K (Perversion is not a civil right.)
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To: DirtyHarryY2K

I've always thought that Pink Flamingos should be used to pull Santa's sleigh rather than raindeer. My wife disagrees.


5 posted on 12/24/2004, 12:43:47 PM by DugwayDuke
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To: DugwayDuke

Flamingos can't dance.

http://web.icq.com/shockwave/0,,4845,00.swf


6 posted on 12/24/2004, 12:54:21 PM by Samwise (This day does not belong to one man but to all. --Aragorn)
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To: DirtyHarryY2K
11. Dried pork rinds sprayed with chrome paint can be substituted for tree tinsel......and make good snacks after the holidays.

Leni

7 posted on 12/24/2004, 12:59:06 PM by MinuteGal
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To: SirLurkedalot

anf=and


8 posted on 12/24/2004, 1:28:02 PM by SirLurkedalot (Merry Christmas and Happy Hannukah!!!)
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To: MinuteGal

Good one! LMAO


9 posted on 12/24/2004, 2:21:38 PM by DirtyHarryY2K (Perversion is not a civil right.)
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