Operation removes lightbulb from Mohammed's anus

Reuters ^

[Diggler]

MULTAN, Pakistan (Reuters) - Fateh Mohammad, a prison inmate in Pakistan, says he woke up last weekend with a glass lightbulb in his anus.

Wednesday night, doctors brought Mohammad's misery to an end after a one-and-a-half hour operation to remove the object.

"Thanks Allah, now I feel comfort. Today, I had my breakfast. I was just drinking water, nothing else," Mohammad, a grey-beared man in his mid-40s, told Reuters from a hospital bed in the southern central city of Multan.

"We had to take it out intact," said Dr. Farrukh Aftab at Nishtar Hospital. "Had it been broken inside, it would be a very very complicated situation."

Mohammad, who is serving a four-year sentence for making liquor, prohibited for Muslims, said he was shocked when he was first told the cause of his discomfort. He swears he didn't know the bulb was there.

"When I woke up I felt a pain in my lower abdomen, but later in hospital, they told me this," Mohammad said.

"I don't know who did this to me. Police or other prisoners."

The doctor treating Mohammad said he'd never encountered anything like it before, and doubted the felon's story that someone had drugged him and inserted the bulb while he was comatose.

[Diggler]

Crazy kids.

[atomicpossum]

One to hold the lightbulb, and three to rotate Mohammed.

[x1stcav]

I guess Mohammed doesn't have a place where the sun doesn't shine to put his head afterall.

[csvset]

Operation removes lightbulb from Mohammed's anus

I nominate that for Headline Of The Day.

"I don't know who did this to me. Police or other prisoners."

Oh, he knows. He just isn't telling.

[hflynn]

Thanks to Mohammad we now know how to determine when a Muslim comes up with 1 of their a-hole ideas.

[wideawake]

"It was a million-to-one shot, doc! A million-to-one!"

[Coop]

Alternate energy source?

[tractorman]

No! I said I wanted a BUD lite.

[Dog]

Check your Freepmail..

[theDentist]

When his cheeks close, does the light turn off?

[gov_bean_ counter]

No, slap on, slap off.

[sageb1]

geez

[COUNTrecount]

He must be a sound sleeper.

[RSmithOpt]

ROP person, boredom, Pakistan, accepted perversion in his culture, mental derangement, looking for virgins??? Which is it?? Or is it a combination of something? Or was he just trying to come up with a better idea, as another poster put it. Well, guess he'll have no objects in his cell anymore. Didn't know how? Yeah, right.

[satchmodog9]

I love how Reuters needs to show us what a light bulb looks like.

[RSmithOpt]

LOL!! Good one!!

[martin_fierro]

[processing please hold]

When I read the title, I looked to see if it was from Scrappleface.

[processing please hold]

You're kidding...right?

[HuntsvilleTxVeteran]

One sect of this CULT says the new prophet will be born by a man.
They examine their feces for lumps to see if it is their new prophet.
Maybe he was a member and was just trying to put a little light on their new prophet?

[martin_fierro]

Of course.

Old, old internet joke.

[processing please hold]

Thank goodness. What a strange site. Thank you.

[Constitution Day]

whiner

[zerosix]

Durn, beat me to it!

[zerosix]

If the "little blue pills" confiscated in PB in a shaving kit belonging to RUSH, what will Leno and O'Brian come up with on this one - oops, nope, it would be "offensive against 'diversity' to ridicule this perfectly normal Muslim, who was 'genetically' programed to enjoy lighting up."

[HOTTIEBOY]

What a strange religion.

Liquor will get you thrown in jail. But perverted foreign object insertion is OK.

[admiralsn]

The editors had a choice: the light buld or the anus. I am glad they stuck with the choice they made.

[N. Theknow]

Always be a glowworm,
A glowworm's never glum.
'Cause how can you be grumpy,
When the sun shines out your bum?

[PBRSTREETGANG]

[Xenalyte]

This might top yesterday's Best Headline Ever.

[martin_fierro]

I don't know who did this to me.

[humblegunner]

"There is no god but Allah, and Mohammed lights the way"

[johnny7]

“The way Fateh Mohammad looked at it, that light bulb was his sons birthright. And he'd be damned if the infidels were gonna put their lily, white hands on his boy's birthright. So he hid it in the one place he knew he could hide somethin'. His a$$.”

[PBRSTREETGANG]

That Mohammed has ideas coming out of his a$$ !

[Xenalyte]

OMG, I am laughing so hard people in the hall are looking at me.

That was the funniest five minutes of a kick-ass movie. Christopher Walken rules the world.

[sully777]

Afternoon THING.

[Mikey_1962]

Those Wacky Wacky Muslims!!!

What Imps!

[Clemenza]

Tailor-made for your commentary. ;-)

[Mikey_1962]

Oh, he knows. He just isn't telling.

The thought of what might be found the next time will keep his mouth shut... Think of a broken bulb...

[presidio9]

I actually reposted this thread this morning.

[Mr. Brightside]

Good thing he is not a real tight-ass.

[Mr. Brightside]

Lighten up.

If you don't like the article, don't click on it.

[sageb1]

"If you don't like the article, don't click on it."

Then I will pretend I'm not here answering you. ;) I have a problem with vulgarity. I will freely admit that. The title of the thread is rather vulgar. I didn't have to click on it to think it was inappropriate.

Evidently, it passed muster with the mods, so I will say no more.

[Mr. Brightside]

I don't think you will find the word "anus" in any vulgarity dictionary.

Maybe some biology books, but that's about it.

It even rhymes with a planet in our solar system.

What more could you ask for?

[sageb1]

I use the preferred pronunciation of Uranus.

"What more could you ask for?"

The end of this conversation?

[JoeSixPack1]

SO the guy's not too bright.
He had a glow problem.

Now was it a tear drop bulb or a standard 3-way?

Tapping Bio-electrical energy too hard can cause severe immersion.

Their prayer position leaves little protection from intrusion of this sort.

Did he look before backing?

Gerbels are harder to sterilize before entry.

[CougarGA7]

Maybe he put it there so he would have a reading light.

[kaktuskid]

Because Gerbils are not halal!

[JoeSixPack1]

But he got permission for the light bulb? LOL!! :-)

[Bacon Man]

ROTFL!