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Grieving wife sliced off willy
The Sun ^
| 09/12/2006
| The Sun Staff
Posted on 09/15/2006 12:10:56 PM PDT by BJClinton
A WIFE aged 65 chopped off her dead husband’s willy in hospital — so she could keep it in a pickling jar as a souvenir.
Uta Schneider used a butcher’s knife to hack off the “treasured” manhood. She wrapped it in foil and put it in a lunchbox — next to gherkins.
But she was spotted by a nurse and arrested in Stuttgart, Germany. She is accused of mutilation.
Uta was wed to Heinrich, 68, for 35 years.
She told police: “It was his best asset and gave me so much pleasure.
“I wanted to pickle it for eternity — he would have wanted it. We called it his joystick. I wanted it to remember him by.”
TOPICS: Health/Medicine; Humor; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: bonerbegone; germanyorflorida; peen; sausagemitkraut; slickwilly; strumunddrang
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"I'm not dead yet..."
1
posted on
09/15/2006 12:10:57 PM PDT
by
BJClinton
To: Millee; martin_fierro
You can't take your physical possessions to Heaven, right?
2
posted on
09/15/2006 12:11:54 PM PDT
by
BJClinton
(What happens on Free Republic, stays on Google.)
To: BJClinton
Well, to be fair the guy wasn't going to using it any longer.
3
posted on
09/15/2006 12:12:34 PM PDT
by
Smedley
To: BJClinton
After 35 years of marriage she felt she had squatters rights to it.
4
posted on
09/15/2006 12:17:18 PM PDT
by
Sax
To: Sax
squatters
I'm not gonna say it.
5
posted on
09/15/2006 12:18:30 PM PDT
by
BJClinton
(What happens on Free Republic, stays on Google.)
To: Sax
To: BJClinton
It's detachable! (Cue King Missile)
7
posted on
09/15/2006 12:19:24 PM PDT
by
dfwgator
To: BJClinton
Yeah, figured I'd just let that one hang in the air...
8
posted on
09/15/2006 12:20:46 PM PDT
by
Sax
To: BJClinton
Uta Schneider
Bwahahahahahaha!
Schneiden is German for "to cut"
9
posted on
09/15/2006 12:23:42 PM PDT
by
stm
(Katherine Harris for US Senate!)
To: BJClinton; mikrofon; Charles Henrickson
Uta Schneider used a butcher’s knife to hack off the “treasured” manhood Ich bin ein de-loiner.
10
posted on
09/15/2006 12:23:52 PM PDT
by
martin_fierro
(Es ist eine deutsche Sache)
To: BJClinton
I would have a difficult time being a judge in this matter trying to keep a straight face. You just can't make this stuff up.
To: BJClinton
Definitely material for the
Germany or Florida? series on the Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew radio show.
Although now that I think of it, seasoned players will be pretty able to identify this one as Germany.
12
posted on
09/15/2006 12:26:52 PM PDT
by
TheMole
To: BJClinton
She just wanted to make sure he wasn't going to have any sex in the afterlife until she got there.
13
posted on
09/15/2006 12:27:05 PM PDT
by
dirtboy
(This tagline has been photoshopped)
To: BJClinton; MeekOneGOP; Conspiracy Guy; DocRock; King Prout; SandyInSeattle; Darksheare; OSHA; ...
14
posted on
09/15/2006 12:28:08 PM PDT
by
Slings and Arrows
("I've never seen so many testicles in my life.")
To: BJClinton
...and how dare she break up the 3 piece set.
(Not to be sold separately.)
15
posted on
09/15/2006 12:28:51 PM PDT
by
Sax
To: BJClinton
I guess that's better than Bobbitt. She didn't wait for him to die.
16
posted on
09/15/2006 12:31:09 PM PDT
by
pissant
To: pissant
Yeah, given the choice I'd sign up for the post-mortem harvesting.
17
posted on
09/15/2006 12:32:18 PM PDT
by
Sax
To: Slings and Arrows
Next to the gherkins?
18
posted on
09/15/2006 12:32:43 PM PDT
by
maggief
To: Sax
Reading your screanname right after that post made me laugh.
19
posted on
09/15/2006 12:34:02 PM PDT
by
Toby06
(Hydrogen is not a fuel source! Hydrogen is an energy storage method, like a battery.)
To: BJClinton
My wife was considering this after my demise...but she didn't know where she'd keep the 50-gallon drum.
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