It’s just not fair. When a man talks dirty to a woman, it’s sexual harassment but when a woman talks dirty to a man it’s $3.99 a minute.
There goes all productivity — well work productivity anyway!
“I’m not drunk. Maybe YOU’RE the one who’s drunk!”
Employer's Name
Cutting onions
Job Title
Cutting onions
Description of job responsibilities
Cutting onions
I actually got this one once. “Sorry I didn’t wear a tie! It’s at the cleaners.”
Should I hire her?
Many years ago I interviewed a guy for a PC support job and he brought all these certificates that showed he was certified to work on various pieces of equipment. Most of it was old, even 15 years ago. For instance he was certified to work on Epson MX-80 dot matrix printers. The really weird thing was they were all in frames with glass and everything. No, I didn’t hire him.
I sent out resumes that said I had experience in PUBIC relations. Spell check is just not that good.
I have been tempted to say this in job interviews...but in the interest of self-preservation, I refrained.
Hilarious. I sent it to a friend of mine who is an executive headhunter.
I was calling some references for an applicant one time and found myself talking to his parole officer. “Well, uh, is he on time for his appointments?” I managed to ask. “No.”
“How easy is it to fake a work-related injury at this place, anyway?”
After plowing through a gazillion interviews when I was starting out in programming, I could well sympathize with these smart-aleck answers by some college applicants.
"What improvement in yourself have you seen in the last few months?"
The sight of blood no longer excites me.
What are your assets? (as in strengths)
I am bright, trustworthy, punctual, hard-working.
What are your weaknesses?
Sometimes I am not bright, trustworthy, punctual, hard-working.
The ones that use to tick me off were:
1) "How much did you make at your last job?"
Immaterial as the job I was applying for had more responsibilities. After that experience, I twice added $5,000 to my current wage and got the jobs at $3,000 more and $5,000 more ("We can just match that, but tell you that raises will come more often.")
2) When they thought I was a retired veteran: "Oh, you're retired military so you don't need as much." I asked them if they paid a guy who had eight kids more than a single John, since they paid on perceived need. I didn't get THAT job.
“Does ‘a diverse work environment’ mean that you hire hot Latina and Asian chicks here?”
I hate those types of questions also. Yet another indication that I just don’t fit in:)
I’m thinking (hoping) that most people have lots of traits and quirks that they wouldn’t pass on at an interview; these people in the article are just more honest.
Have you ever read the book “Idiot Letters”? It’s hilarious, basically funny letters the author sent to various companies. Some of the responses from companies were priceless too, especially the ones who got the joke.
One of the best was his cover letter to Xerox saying that he was perfect for Xerox because he did everything in duplicate. I I mean mean every every word word was was duplicated duplicated. He even duplicated the words in the address on the envelope and put two stamps on it.
