43 weird things said in job interviews

cnn ^ | July 22, 2009 | Rachel Zupek

[JoeProBono]

"I'm not wanted in this state."

"How many young women work here?"

"I didn't steal it; I just borrowed it."

"You touch somebody and they call it sexual harassment!"

"I've never heard such a stupid question."

Believe it or not, the above statements weren't overhead in bars or random conversations -- they were said in job interviews.

Maybe you were nervous, you thought the employer would appreciate your honesty, or maybe you just have no boundaries. Whatever the reason, you can be certain that you shouldn't tell an interviewer that it's probably best if they don't do a background check on you. (And yes, the hiring manager remembered you said that.)....

[JoeProBono]

[ZirconEncrustedTweezers]

It’s just not fair. When a man talks dirty to a woman, it’s sexual harassment but when a woman talks dirty to a man it’s $3.99 a minute.

[freedumb2003]

There goes all productivity — well work productivity anyway!

[End Times Sentinel]

“I’m not drunk. Maybe YOU’RE the one who’s drunk!”

[real saxophonist]

Not from a job interview, but I saw this on a job application:

Employer's Name
Cutting onions

Job Title
Cutting onions

Description of job responsibilities
Cutting onions

[indianaconservative]

I actually got this one once. “Sorry I didn’t wear a tie! It’s at the cleaners.”

[Dysart]

I swear to you by all that is holy I just received a resume from an applicant and her reply address - without revealing the exact address- is: badchick****@email.com

Should I hire her?

[cripplecreek]

"I'm not wanted in this state."

Best one right off the bat.

[TomOnTheRun]

'Well, as you can see, I'm a young, virile man and I'm single -- if you ladies know what I'm saying.' Then he looked at one of the fair-haired board members and said, 'I particularly like blondes.'

No. Just ... No. I'm not sure I understand why he thought that would be a good idea. I've had beer poured in my lap for being less aggressive than that in a singles bar much less a job interview.

[Drew68]

There goes all productivity — well work productivity anyway!

On the flip side, absenteeism goes way down. Hot chicks at the office have always made it a little less painful to show up for work in the morning.

[Jaxter]

Many years ago I interviewed a guy for a PC support job and he brought all these certificates that showed he was certified to work on various pieces of equipment. Most of it was old, even 15 years ago. For instance he was certified to work on Epson MX-80 dot matrix printers. The really weird thing was they were all in frames with glass and everything. No, I didn’t hire him.

[Joe 6-pack]

LOL....I once received a resume with a cover letter in which the applicant declared his willingess to negotiate a celery.

[Drew68]

“I’m not drunk. Maybe YOU’RE the one who’s drunk!”

I used to sit in on interviews and you'd be surprised at the number of people who show up for professional positions reeking of alcohol. Happened on several occasions. Needless to say, they were real quick interviews.

[OldCorps]

bump for a good thread

[DarkSavant]

I work with a company that does defense contracts.

In an interview one of my co-workers was administering, he asked the applicant if he had any questions. The applicant response was, "Yeah, how dows it feel to make weapons that kill people?" Nope, he didn't get the job.

[Dysart]

willingess to negotiate a celery

Careful. Sounds like a stalker.

[Jaxter]

"..negotiate a celery."

LOL. You should have countered with an offer of peanuts.

[justkate]

I once received a resume with a cover letter in which the applicant declared his willingess to negotiate a celery.

Bean there, done that

[Responsibility2nd]

If you don’t then Laz will.

[colorcountry]

I sent out resumes that said I had experience in PUBIC relations. Spell check is just not that good.