Posted on 10/02/2009 8:30:41 PM PDT by se_ohio_young_conservative
First off. Our marriage is great. We love eachother so very much. My wife gave birth to twins in December 08. Obviously we stay very busy and most of our focus is on the girls.
We were both raised in a christian home. We were both christians when we met. Our faith was something that we had in common from the start and it was very important to the development of our relationship. I never had any doubt she truly believed even though she was more intellectual in her thinking.
Over time she has seemed more secular in her thinking and less intrested in going to church. She started having doubts and of course I told her there is a God and I prayed with her and encouraged her to look at scripture. She never pushed me away. But it seemed more and more like she was losing intrest in religion.
Even with all of that, I was shocked when she brought the subject up the other day. She told me that she has been afraid to tell me that she no longer believes in a God. she didn't want me to get upset with her. She told me that it is not a matter of not wanting to believe. She just could no longer believe. She went on to say there is no way the earth is 6000 years old. I did not get upset with her. I told her I still loved her. But I admit that it was very upsetting hearing my wife whom grew up in a church and has prayed with me so many times. it was upsetting to hear her make all of these typical atheist arguments against what she once believed. We had a very long conversation.
It has me upset. But I refuse let this ruin our marriage. A couple of days went by and she is still the same woman and I still love her just as much. I am just confused by all of this. and I am afraid it could hurt our marriage somehow. I don't want it too. I am afraid because I want her to go to heaven. I believe these are the end times. I don't want her left behind.
Is there anyone else out there who is in a marriage where one believes and the other does not ?
Obviously I am going to pray for her. But I don't think I can really preach or talk her back. I don't think it would work and I don't want to be a pain to her.
I just don't know exactly how to handle this. But I know that she still has a good heart. she is a wonderful and loving person. and she has good morals and values. I know that. and I know she is and will always be a great mother to our girls.
I don't want to let it hurt our marriage. How should I handle this ? i do have a lot of fear
Excellent point.
She may come back someday. You can’t force it, and you can’t present her with any reading materials that will reawaken a faith that has gone dormant. She has to find her way back to faith by herself, through grace.
Apparently you belong to a denomination that embraces views many thoughtful, educated Christians would have a hard time with. It sounds that your wife is throwing the baby out with the bathwater—that is, she is rejecting all of Christian thought because she finds the teachings of your denomination impossible and illogical. Has she considered that one can believe in God and have a close relationship with Jesus without necessarily believing that the world was created in six literal days six thousand years ago?
C.S. Lewis wrote that a young person who denies God may actually be maturing in his or her faith and may come to a stronger faith in the end. It can take time. Remember that as Paul told the Corinthians, the unbelieving spouse is sanctified by the believing one, so you can continue to be a light and a blessing to her.
My ex-husband was an atheist who lost his faith in youth, as he studied science. His mother and my mother and I all prayed for him for many, many years. He only came around again about five years ago, decades after losing his faith. I hope your wife will come back to the Lord, too.
Good for her, I say. You can't win the race when chained to the starting line.
Where we are going is far more important than where we came from!
“Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” (Hebrews 11:1)
“But without faith it is impossible to please Him(God): for he that cometh to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him.” (Hebrews 11:6)
“Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.” (Romans 5:1)
“So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.” (Romans 10:17)
“And she’s right... there is no way the earth is 6000 years old, but what that has to do with God is beyond me.”
I agree. Certain parts of the Bible cannot be taken too literally. For example, Moses was divinely inspired to write the account of creation, but he was not there. It was explained the best he could considering the inspiration God gave him, and limited communication: neither the writer nor the reader could really understand fully. The best he could do was to describe it in terms readers could learn and understand.
But there are also those who depart greatly from sound interpretation of scripture by going overboard in the opposite direction of literalism, such as Paul was a homosexual, or Jesus was married.
A couple of references that I like:
Acts 17:24-28
Hebrews 11:3 (note how consistent this verse is with the big bang theory, hundreds of years before Galileo realized that the earth revolved around the sun, and the universe did not revolve around earth)
I wish I could offer you more ... There are many good books (of course the Bible, 'Evidence that demands a verdict' by Josh McDowell; 'Sermons for the Natural Man' by W.G. Shedd; any sermonaudio sermons by Alan Cairns; etc) ... but I'd still point her towards God's promises. E.g.,
Jeremiah 29:12-13 Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.
Isaiah 55:6-7 Seek ye the LORD while he may be found, call ye upon him while he is near: Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the LORD, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.
I pray that your wife will seek the LORD... While HE is near...
God Bless...
Of course not. No one has ever accused him of omni-patience.
TaxRelief: "Excellent point."
So God wrote lies in scripture to deceive us?
Blasphemy.
“I don’t think I can really preach or talk her back. I don’t think it would work and I don’t want to be a pain to her.”
Two toddlers huh? If you don’t think listening to her will help, or that marriage counseling will work, it probably won’t.
As a divorce lawyer I can assure you that in a few years one of two things will happen: either you will wish that you had listened to her or you will get on your knees and thank God that you did.
I think not! But clearly there is an inconsistency with the "young earth" interpretation of God's time and actual truth.
You all interjected a CREVO debate into a thread about marriage problems. Drop it.
Absolutely not. no way.
I know she loves me. I just had to make sure she knows I don’t love her any less now because of this.
the last couple of days have been normal for us. she gave me a kiss before she left, called me on her lunch break, a kiss when she got home. there is nothing wrong in this area.
Once I got my head around the unbinding of time involving G_d, it made perfect sense.... just like G_d is perfect. Us humans aren't... just forgiven.
Everyone on this thread to you, except the evolution nuts who just want to goad you into responding, has some good advice.
I’ll be praying for you both. And be ready for the occasional question from her along the lines “So why do you still love me?” “Why did you do that for me”, etc. That’s the time to bring up your faith and God.
You really need to get off this thread into a CREVO thread. This is NOT the point at all in what he was asking for help with and you know it. Get out of here.
I don’t believe the earth is only 6000 years old either, but I’m still a Christian.
Maybe, she just needs to find another church that still is Christian but fits her beliefs better.
Try some other churches and see if that helps, and always pray.
There is a vein of apologetics that state when scripture contradicts what we know is fact, we need to review our understanding of scripture.
The earth isn’t 6,000 years old. Simple astronomy destroyed that long ago. Scripture isn’t faulty either, it is our understanding of it that lacks.
The problem of lack of faith is that given the contradiction you wife has let what she has perceived as fact invalidate her faith. Instead, encourage her to grow with both.
Science and reason point directly to a creator, it doesn’t dismiss Him at all. I hope you both take the blinders off and embrace what God has made.
Good luck and I’ll say a prayer for you both.
I occasionally have students who tell me they don’t believe in God. Further conversation often shows that the real problem is that they are hurt or angry—very often because of a spiritually abusive person or church in their past.
You might take a look at the links at this site:
http://pureprovender.blogspot.com/
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