Posted on 04/06/2010 4:19:52 PM PDT by Ms. Petite
Weird stuff seems to go with major comets. When a comet appeared in A.D. 60, the people of Rome assumed it meant the impending death of their still new emperor, Nero. He responded by exiling a potential rival. When another comet turned up just 4 years later, ancient historians say he ordered the execution of dozens of nobles. It is said that Moctezuma II saw a comet in 1517 that foreshadowed the downfall of Aztec empire. In 1910, a wave of hysteria swept over the United States amid reports that Earth was about to pass through Halley's tail.
HEY!!! We’re over here! Happy May Day!
“Comet inbound”
The nasty scraggly looking nucleus wasn’t much to look at the way comets go.
A mass of dirt, volitiles, and various space garbage, it was a spacegoing hobos shopping cart.
“Calculations complete?”
“Affirmative, ninety-nine point nine repeating probability of impact with Earth.”
“Target points scanned and locked?”
“Lock on points two through eight. Point one is obscured by random gas jet activity.”
“Use active scanning on point one.”
“Point one is the site of the active jet.”
“Use alternate points.”
Systems powered up as the device presently being brought to bear on the comet began the process of being brought ‘in battery’ for use.
“Are the eggheads back in Houston sure this will work? I mean, really.. we have the teleFRAG, we can obliterate the comet or alter the orbit that way.”
“They SAY they are sure, the computer backs them up.. so we’re going to shine the pretty lights on the comet and hope it doesn’t act different from their calcs.”
“It’s better to just push it rather than force cometary jets to form because the jets aren’t themselves a contollable variable. We CAN control how much impulse we add or remove from the comet speed wise.”
“I know what you’re saying, we’re likely to obliterate something o earth with this thing. I’m hoping for a nice solid hit on Was-” a tone alert interupted him.
“That’s our signal.”
“Powering up particle beam cannons.”
Four heavy beam cannons locked onto the main target locations as several secondary battery emplacements locked onto the remaining target points.
The surface of the comet melted, boiled, and explosively vented as all hell broke loose and the comet began moving in unpredictable ways.
Just as the crew had predicted.
Boom, in fact.
I’ve been out gardening most of the morning. Planted the last of the annuals, weeded this and that, watered the other thing, and mutilated a lugustrum that was eating the lavender rose bush.
I need to find the long-handled clippers and really attack the lugustrum. It didn’t get done last year, and they’ve grown threatening.
“..attack the lugustrum. It didn’t get done last year, and they’ve grown threatening.”
“Hey, you! Gimme your money!”
The lugustrum shoved over the passerby and ripped the wallet from their pocket!
A couple seconds later it beat up the neighbors dog!
That rustling we hear at night is the lugustrum in a life-and-death struggle with the parsley-monsters.
And the banging I heard at 4:00 a.m. was the snake trying to break out of her cage. Fortunately, she didn’t succeed.
Snake: “This is MADNESS! I’m out of here! No Parsley Zombie or Lugustrum’s gonna get ME!”
Susan is a local reptile, while the lugustrum is an Invasive Species. Not a pretty picture.
The byos are demanding lunch ... and unlike the lugustrum, they’re indoors ...
Yeah, that would be a fine sight to behold.
Ah, lunch being demanded.
I’ll let you get to that.
“The lugustrum shoved over the passerby and ripped the wallet from their pocket!
A couple seconds later it beat up the neighbors dog!”
Now I call that a might unfriendly......
Shortly afterwards, the lugustrum were overheard plotting invasion of the petunia beds while chanting lugustrus propaganda and promoting lugustrum superiority.
The Parsley Monsters next door also have expansionist designs, apparently.
“the lugustrum were overheard plotting invasion of the petunia beds while chanting lugustrus propaganda”
I have heard their propaganda before. I didn’t buy into it then, and not today either!
Ivy is almost as bad:
The vines twisted around slightly and hissed. The dog had just gone by and ... used the ground in an offensive manner! The ivy shuddered, mammals.. such disgusting creatures! The mailman came up the stoop humming to himself at the same moment that the ivy couldn’t take it anymore.
Tendrils shot outward! Tearing and rending bone and sinew! Roots took hold and amid the crackle of bone, the ivy ate. A sudden thirst for the blood of moving creatures filled the ivy with rage. First, though, the dog must pay...
Yes, the dog must pay..
Fortunately, the nonsense that started this thread has been dealt with, and we can now get down to discussing serious matters.
Yes, how to deal with deathly expansionist lugustrum, parsley monsters, and killer english ivy.
“Killer English Ivy” claimed my great grandpappy!!
“Fortunately, the nonsense that started this thread has been dealt with, and we can now get down to discussing serious matters. “
Do Moose really eat cheese?
Wait a Minute vines got my uncle.
Dunno what they are called for real, but they have thorns that start out yellow and go to a black tip.
They burn like crazy when they poke you.
And they are a medium green vine with broad leaves.
I narrowly escaped with my skin intact.
You were just one of the fortunate ones. Many others have suffered....even more just disappeared.
I have been fortunate not ot have come face to face with threatening lugustrum.
TC has, and we’re waiting for her to check back in.
I’m on the side of the parsley-monsters, because we can eat them. Lugustrum just sits there, snortling to itself and tapping on the windows.
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