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Amy's Place ... Poetry and Potpourri ... September, 2011
9-1-2011 | JustAmy; St.Louie1; MamaBear; Billie; Meg33

Posted on 09/01/2011 1:15:08 AM PDT by JustAmy

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To: MEG33
Wonderful Psalm.

Most every day I speak this Psalm from memory as I go about the day. When I have a restless night of sleeplessness. I go over this Psalm a few times, then I pray again for all the people on my prayer list.

For some reason I have found it difficult to memorize the 91 Psalms, and I have read it hundreds of times and it contains some great promises from God.

Thank you, for posting the 23 Psalms .

181 posted on 09/05/2011 9:42:56 AM PDT by geologist (The only answer to the troubles of this life is Jesus. A decision we all must make.)
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To: The Mayor

“...
28. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.
...”
____________________________________________________________

Replenish (to fill or make complete again; add a new stock or supply to:... ) the earth

This word is puzzling, do you agree?

There will be one day a new heaven and a new earth, that will be a time to replenish. In the beginning this is a strange word to use.


182 posted on 09/05/2011 9:45:50 AM PDT by geologist (The only answer to the troubles of this life is Jesus. A decision we all must make.)
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To: geologist; The Mayor

Some scholars say the word means ‘to fill’. Others say ‘fill again’. Here’s a little breakdown - from the Bible Lexicon results:

http://www.blueletterbible.org/lang/lexicon/lexicon.cfm?Strongs=H4390&t=KJV#

Don’t know if this answers your question(s) or not, Geo. There are a lot of studies on this - as others find the word ‘replenish’ as a puzzling word, too.


183 posted on 09/05/2011 11:10:43 AM PDT by yorkie
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To: yorkie; All; JustAmy; MEG33; tiapam; jaycee; pollywog; Kitty Mittens; left that other site; ...

~~MONDAY HAS ARRIVED~~

beautiful day

~~AND A RELAXING LABOR DAY~~

184 posted on 09/05/2011 11:47:22 AM PDT by oldteen
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To: oldteen; JustAmy; Billie; GodBlessUSA; Lady Jag; yorkie; jaycee; Diver Dave; LUV W; Mama_Bear; ...


GOOD MILITARY MONDAY TO AMY’S PLACE!



The Soldier’s Code

1) I am an American fighting man. I serve in the forces which guard my country and our way of life. I am prepared to give my life in their defense.

2) I will never surrender of my own free will. If in command, I will never surrender my men while they still have the means to resist.

3) If I am captured, I will continue to resist by all means available. I will make every effort to escape and aid others to escape. I will accept neither parole nor special favors from the enemy.

4) If I become a prisoner of war, I will keep faith with my fellow prisoners. I will give no information or take part in any action which might be harmful to my comrades. If I am senior, I will take command. If not, I will obey the lawful orders of those appointed over me, and will back them up in every way.

5) When questioned, should I become a prisoner of war, I am bound to give only name, rank, service number, and date of birth. I will evade answering further questions to the utmost of my ability. I will make no oral or written statements disloyal to my country and its allies, or harmful to their cause.

6) I will never forget that I am an American fighting man, responsible for my actions, and dedicated to the principles which made my country free. I will trust in my God and in the United States of America.

President Dwight D. Eisenhower, August, 1955.





185 posted on 09/05/2011 12:02:19 PM PDT by ConorMacNessa (HM/2 USN, 3/5 Marines RVN 1969 - St. Michael the Archangel defend us in Battle!)
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To: All

A judge was instructing the jury that a witness was not necessarily to be regarded as untruthful because he changed his statement after he gave it to the police.

“For example,” he said, “when I entered my chambers today, I was positive that I had my gold watch in my pocket. But then I remembered that I left in on the nightstand in my bedroom.”

When the judge returned home that evening, his wife asked him “Why so much urgency for your watch? Isn’t sending three men to pick it up for you a bit extreme?”

“What?” said the judge, “I didn’t send anyone for my watch, let alone three people. What did you do?”

“I gave it to the first one,” said the wife, “he knew exactly where it was.”


186 posted on 09/05/2011 12:21:46 PM PDT by Dubya (JESUS SAVES)
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To: Dubya

Speaking of travels, I heard that when Marco Polo first opened the trade routes to China, he was quite impressed with their rockets. Now, these weren’t quite the fireworks we now know, but they did shoot into the air, explode and make some pretty patterns. Strangely, no matter where he went, there were people who made fireworks, but he had trouble finding someone to demonstrate them for him.

“Not here!” they said. ...very confusing. Until ol’ Marc came upon an ancient military fortification at the community of Chu’Lai. Here, fireworks were launched every night, and Marc was very impressed!

But still he wondered, “Why here?” At the end of every week, people came from great distances, bringing their own fireworks to launch. So Marco Polo asked his guide why everyone came here to launch their fireworks.

Marc’s guide replied: “Why honored Sir, ... We always set off fireworks on the Forts of Chu’Lai”


187 posted on 09/05/2011 12:25:26 PM PDT by Dubya (JESUS SAVES)
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To: Dubya

Things You Never Hear Your Dad Say

“Well how about that?.....I’m lost! Looks like we’ll have to stop for and ask for directions.

You know pumpkin, now that you are thirteen, you’ll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won’t that be fun?

Here’s a credit card and the keys to my new car-—GO CRAZY

What do you mean you want to play football? Figure skating not good enough for you, son?

Your mother and I are going away for the weekend... you might want to consider throwing a party.

Well, I don’t know what’s wrong with the car. Probably one of those doo-hickey thingies — you know — that makes it run or something. We’ll just have to have it towed to a mechanic and pay whatever he asks.

Whaddya wanna go and get a job for? I make plenty of money for you to spend.


188 posted on 09/05/2011 12:27:27 PM PDT by Dubya (JESUS SAVES)
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To: Dubya

The boss joined a group of his workers at the coffee urn and told a series of jokes he’d heard recently. Everybody laughed loudly. Everybody, that is, except Mike.

When he noticed that he was getting no reaction from Mike, the boss said, “What’s the matter, Mike? No sense of humor?”

“My sense of humor is fine,” he said. “But I don’t have to laugh. I’m quitting tomorrow.”


189 posted on 09/05/2011 12:29:57 PM PDT by Dubya (JESUS SAVES)
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To: Dubya

Seconds In a Year

The teacher said, “Now class, we know their are 60 seconds in a minute, 60 minutes in an hour, 24 hours in a day, and 365 days in a year, so who can tell me how many seconds there are in a year?”

All the kids looked baffled by the question except Buck, who raises his hand and waves it excitedly.

“Yes, Buck, how many seconds are there in a year?” the teacher asked.

Replied Buck, “Twelve, m’am. January second, February second, March second...”


190 posted on 09/05/2011 12:31:22 PM PDT by Dubya (JESUS SAVES)
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To: Dubya

Comments made in the year 1957:

“I’ll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it’s going to be impossible to buy a week’s groceries for$20.”

“Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won’t be long before $5000 will only buy a used one.”

“Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging a dime just to mail a letter?”

“If they raise the minimum wage to $1, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store.”

“When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 29 cents a gallon. Guess we’d be better off leaving the car in the garage.”

“Kids today are impossible. Those duck tail hair cuts make it impossible to stay groomed. Next thing you know, boys will be wearing their hair as long as the girls.”

“I read the other day where some scientist thinks it’s possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the of the century. They even have some fellows they call astronauts preparing for it down in Texas.”

“Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $75,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn’t surprise me if someday they’ll be making more than the president.”

“I never thought I’d see the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric . . . they are even making electric typewriters now.”

“It’s too bad things are so tough nowadays. I see where a few married women are having to work to make ends meet.”

“It won’t be long before young couples are going to have to hire someone to watch their kids so they can both work.”

“Marriage doesn’t mean a thing any more; those Hollywood stars seem to be getting divorced at the drop of a hat.”

“I’m just afraid the Volkswagen car is going to open the door to a whole lot of foreign business.”

“Thank goodness I won’t live to see the day when the Government takes half our income in taxes. I sometimes wonder if we are electing the best people to congress.”

“The drive-in restaurant is convenient in nice weather, but I seriously doubt they will ever catch on.”

“There is no sense going to Lincoln or Omaha anymore for a weekend. It costs nearly $15 a night to stay in a hotel.”

“No one can afford to be sick any more; $35 a day in the hospital is too rich for my blood.”

“If they think I’ll pay 50 cents for a hair cut, forget it.”


191 posted on 09/05/2011 12:32:56 PM PDT by Dubya (JESUS SAVES)
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To: Dubya

The Top Ten Reasons Men Should Join the Church Choir

10. Rehearsals are every Wednesday night. Which means that for those few hours, you will significantly reduce your risk of contracting tendinitis from nonstop operation of a television remote control or computer mouse.

9. Because you wear a choir robe every Sunday, you are liberated from a task many men find quite challenging: finding clothes that match properly

8. From your special vantage point every Sunday, in which you look out at the entire congregation from the choir seats, you will develop interesting new hobbies. Among these is a little guessing game called “Who’s Praying, Who’s Sleeping?”

7. On the other hand, sitting in full view of 400-500 people on a weekly basis makes it much less likely that you yourself will give in to a chronic lack of sleep. Although it has been known to happen.

6. If you think your singing in the shower sounds good now, just wait till you’ve been singing with us for a few weeks.

5. Singing in a choir is one of the few activities for men that does not require electronics equipment or expensive power tools. This could be good for the family budget.

4. For the fitness buffs, singing in the Choir is not only heart healthy, it’s soul healthy. But there are no monthly membership fees, and it’s a lot easier on the knees than jogging.

3. If you think you’ve done everything there is to do, and there are no great challenges left in life, try singing with us guys and staying on pitch.

2. Choir rehearsal lasts half as long as a professional football game, but is at least twice as satisfying. This is especially true if you are a long-suffering fan of the Washington Redskins. (Don’t worry, though, the rehearsals are on Wednesday, not Monday Nights.)

And the number 1 reason men should join the choir:

1. When people ask you whether you’ve been behaving yourself, you can say with the utmost sincerity, “Hey, I’m a Choir Boy.”


192 posted on 09/05/2011 12:49:54 PM PDT by Dubya (JESUS SAVES)
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To: Dubya

Hamlet’s Cat’s Soliloquy

To go outside, and there perchance to stay
Or to remain within: that is the question:
Whether ‘tis better for a cat to suffer
The cuffs and buffets of inclement weather
That Nature rains on those who roam abroad,
Or take a nap upon a scrap of carpet,
And so by dozing melt the solid hours
That clog the clock’s bright gears with sullen time
And stall the dinner bell.
To sit, to stare Outdoors, and by a stare to seem to state
A wish to venture forth without delay,
Then when the portal’s opened up, to stand
As if transfixed by doubt.
To prowl; to sleep;
To choose not knowing when we may once more
Our readmittance gain: aye, there’s the hairball;
For if a paw were shaped to turn a knob,
Or work a lock or slip a window-catch,
And going out and coming in were made
As simple as the breaking of a bowl,
What cat would bear the household’s petty plagues,
The cook’s well-practiced kicks, the butler’s broom,
The infant’s careless pokes, the tickled ears,
The trampled tail, and all the daily shocks
That fur is heir to, when, of his own free will,
He might his exodus or entrance make
With a mere mitten?
Who would spaniels fear,
Or strays trespassing from a neighbor’s yard,
But that the dread of our unheeded cries
And scratches at a barricaded door
No claw can open up, dispels our nerve
And makes us rather bear our humans’ faults
Than run away to unguessed miseries?
Thus caution doth make house cats of us all;
And thus the bristling hair of resolution
Is softened up with the pale brush of thought,
And since our choices hinge on weighty things,
We pause upon the threshold of decision.

~shakespaw


193 posted on 09/05/2011 12:52:01 PM PDT by Dubya (JESUS SAVES)
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To: Dubya

How to Prepare for a New Cat

1. Take cold chicken and stars soup straight from the can and splash it across the carpet and the foot of the bed and then walk in it in the dark with your socks on.

2. Set up a mouse trap at the foot of the bed each night so that if you move a toe one inch while you are sleeping, you are sure to get snapped.

3. Cover all your best suits with cat hair. Dark suits must use white hair, and light suits must use dark hair. Also, float some hair in your first cup of coffee in the morning.

4. Put everything cat-toy sized into a water bowl to marinate.

5. Practice cutting your chicken into teeny tiny bites so that when they steal, it won’t be the whole breast.

6. Tip over a basket of clean laundry, and scatter clothing all over the floor.

7. Leave your underwear on the living room floor, because that’s where the cat will drag it anyway (especially when you have company).

8. Jump out of your chair shortly before the end of your favorite TV program and run to the t.v. shouting “No! No! Don’t chew on the electric cord!” Miss the end of the program.

9. Put chocolate pudding on the carpet in the corner of the living room in the morning and don’t try to clean it up until you return from work that evening.

10. Gouge the surface of the dining room table several times with an exacto knife. It’s going to get scratched anyway.

11. Practice searching every closet and open cabinet door before you shut it.

12. Knock all small items off your kitchen counter.

13. Chew the eraser off every pencil in the house.

14. Take a fork and shred the roll of toliet paper while it’s still hanging up. Pull a few sheets off and scatter them around the bathroom.

15. Take a staple remover and punch two holes in every scrap of paper around the house.

16. Get a litter tray without a lid and mix in some tootsie rolls with cat litter and then tip it over right before the company comes. Make sure your guests get to find this before you do.

17. Buy a mixed bag of cat toys and stuff them under the refrigerator. Practice getting up at 2AM and fishing them out with a ruler or broom stick.

18. Take a warm cuddly blanket out of the dryer and immediately wrap it around yourself. This is the feeling you will get when your new cat falls asleep on your lap.


194 posted on 09/05/2011 12:58:08 PM PDT by Dubya (JESUS SAVES)
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To: All
Plan Of God

"We are God's children now; it does not yet appear what we shall be, but we know that...  we shall be like him."
1 John 3:2

On this Labor Day, know that God has a good and perfect plan for your life, and it is revealed to you as you pray for guidance. Today you take time to open your mind and heart to God's light.

Jesus recognized the plan or will of God. He said, "Not my will, but thine, be done." You also pray that it is God's will that is done in your life and career. You pray that you may be directed towards your highest good by the Spirit of God.

with you continuously, and within you. The Spirit of God fills you with inspiration and strength for your daily life. The Spirit of God knows the path to lasting success and prosperity.

You will be assured that with God by your side nothing can stop you. Not people, not the economy.

PRAYER:

Dear God,
help me to relax today and place my trust in You. I agree to think about You, and Your help instead of my problems. I think about God instead of my difficulties. I place my focus on the good instead of the seemingly bad. Thank you God for Your ever-present help.
I Jesus' name,
Amen.

195 posted on 09/05/2011 3:09:05 PM PDT by Dubya (JESUS SAVES)
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To: Dubya

Word Contest

The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its annual contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. Here are some of the selected results.

— Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

— Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

— Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

— Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

— Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

— Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

— Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

— Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

— Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

— Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with ‘Yiddishisms’.

— Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.


196 posted on 09/05/2011 3:28:45 PM PDT by Dubya (JESUS SAVES)
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To: Dubya

Waiting In Line

Here are the reasons I’d Like to thank Wal-Mart, K-Mart, Target, and my local grocer for having 25 checkout lanes and only three open at any given time.

— Waiting in long lines keeps my domestic brain from going completely idle — there’s so much to learn!

- I can catch up on my magazine reading without buying any.

- I have time to leave my cart in line and run back to get the 13 things on my list I forgot.

- I can be one of those annoying cell phone users and catch up on all my phone calls to my insurance agent, mother-in-law, and Auntie Anne.

- I can catch a quick catnap now rather than on the drive home.

- I can assess what other people have in their carts and get exciting new dinner ideas.

- I can finally apply my top coat of nail polish with plenty of drying time.

- I can run next door and pick up my dry cleaning.

- I can update my coupon organizer and leave the trash in the we-never-open-enough-checkout-lanes store instead of my purse.

- I can practice my standup comedy routines on unsuspecting fellow customers.

- I can practice some standing yoga poses and then do those isometric muscle-contracting exercises no one else in line is supposed to know you’re doing.

- I can taste test my package of the newest low-carb, zero-transfat, Splenda-saturated cookies.

- I can breathe heavily on my T-bones so they’re defrosted in time for dinner and I won’t have to leave them out on the driveway in the hot late afternoon sun as I normally do.


197 posted on 09/05/2011 3:30:08 PM PDT by Dubya (JESUS SAVES)
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To: Dubya

Cold Water Cleaning

John went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of Georgia.

After spending a great evening chatting the night away, John’s grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast. However, John noticed a film like substance on his plate, and questioned his grandfather asking, “Are these plates clean?”

His grandfather replied, “They’re as clean as cold water can get them. Just you go ahead and finish your meal, Sonny!”

For lunch the old man made hamburgers. Again, John was concerned about the plates as his appeared to have tiny specks around the edge that looked like dried egg and asked, “Are you sure these plates are clean?”

Without looking up the old man said, “I told you before, Sonny, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them. Now don’t you fret, I don’t want to hear another word about it!”

Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a nearby town and as he was leaving, his grandfather’s dog started to growl, and wouldn’t let him pass. John yelled and said, “Grandfather, your dog won’t let me get to my car”.

Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching on TV the old man shouted ...

“COLDWATER, GO LAY DOWN!!!!”


198 posted on 09/05/2011 3:33:17 PM PDT by Dubya (JESUS SAVES)
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To: Dubya

Shredded Similes, Mutilated Metaphors

For your entertainment, actual similes and metaphors found by high school English teachers from across the country in their student’s essays.

- Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

- His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances, like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

- He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

- She grew on him like she was a colony of e-coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

- She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

- Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.


199 posted on 09/05/2011 3:36:06 PM PDT by Dubya (JESUS SAVES)
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To: Dubya

How do you get a kleenex to dance?

… Put a little boogey in it.


200 posted on 09/05/2011 3:42:30 PM PDT by Dubya (JESUS SAVES)
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