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(-:(-:(-:THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD:-):-):-)
Posted on 12/16/2011 4:39:41 AM PST by Lucky9teen
There....my lights are hung
Now to come up with some Christmas Tree ideas:
1) This is a true story about John Porter, from New York State, USA, whose pipes in his home froze one winter. Anxious to unfreeze them, Mr Porter backed his car up to an open window so that the exhaust would warm up the house.
A little while later and Porter, his wife and their three children had to be rushed to hospital suffering from carbon monoxide poisoning.
2) George Gibbs, from Columbus, Ohio, suffered second-degree burns on his head. This is what happened one freezing cold winter morning. Unable to start his car, George diagnosed the problem as a frozen fuel line which he thought he could correct by running warm petrol through it. He then tried to heat a two-gallon can of petrol on his gas stove in the kitchen. Ah.....
Just before Xmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and Santa Claus all got into the lift (elevator) at the Ritz Hotel in London. As the lift travelled from the 5th floor down to the ground level, one-by-one they noticed a £50 note lying on the lift's floor.
Which one picked up the £50 note, and handed it in at reception?
Santa of course, the other two don't actually exist!
Grandpa decided that shopping for Christmas presents had become too difficult. All his grandchildren had everything they needed, so he decided to send them each a cheque (check).
On each card he wrote:
'Happy Christmas Grandpa'
P.S. 'Buy your own present!'
Conclusion:
Now, while Grandpa enjoyed the family festivities, he thought that his grandchildren were just slightly distant. It preyed on his mind into the New Year. Then one day he was sorting out his study and under a pile of magazines, he found a little pile of cheques (checks) for his grandchildren. He had completely forgotten to put them in with the Christmas cards.
Why We Put Angels On Top Of Christmas Trees
One Christmas, a long time ago, Santa Claus was getting ready for his annual trip; butthere were problems
everywhere.Four of his elves were away sick and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast asthe regular ones. So, Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.Then, Mrs. Claus popped in to tell Santa that her mother was coming to stay for Christmas; which stressed him even more.After a while, he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about togive birth and two had jumped the fence and run away, heaven knows where to.
Then, when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards broke and several large toy- bags fell to the ground, scattering their contents all over the place. Needless to say, Santawas not in the best of moods.Suddenly, the doorbell rang and he went to the door expecting another problem. Butwhen he opened it, there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree that she had brought especially to cheer him up.The angel greeted him very cheerfully, Merry Christmas Santa Claus. Isnt it just awonderful day? I have a beautiful tree for you. See, isnt it just the loveliest Christmastree youve ever seen? Where would you like me to put it?Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: christmas; ofst; silliness; tree
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To: 2111USMC; 21stCenturion; 2ndDivisionVet; 3AngelaD; 4mycountry; 5Madman2; 66-442hot; 6amgelsmama; ...
2
posted on
12/16/2011 4:41:50 AM PST
by
Lucky9teen
(Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
To: Lucky9teen
3
posted on
12/16/2011 4:42:23 AM PST
by
justlurking
(The only remedy for a bad guy with a gun is a good WOMAN (Sgt. Kimberly Munley) with a gun)
To: justlurking
4
posted on
12/16/2011 4:44:53 AM PST
by
Lucky9teen
(Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
To: Lucky9teen
To: Larry Lucido
Good Morning! ;)
6
posted on
12/16/2011 4:51:26 AM PST
by
Lucky9teen
(Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
To: Lucky9teen
TOP TEN!!!!
7
posted on
12/16/2011 4:57:47 AM PST
by
Rummyfan
(Iraq: it's not about Iraq anymore, it's about the USA!)
To: Lucky9teen
Top ten.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
To: Lucky9teen
Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year to you Lucky! Thanks for doing the thread throughout the year.
9
posted on
12/16/2011 5:09:07 AM PST
by
Rummyfan
(Iraq: it's not about Iraq anymore, it's about the USA!)
To: Lucky9teen
I have hard copies of these somewhere. Loooooove these!!
To: Lucky9teen
11
posted on
12/16/2011 5:31:01 AM PST
by
JRios1968
(I'm guttery and trashy, with a hint of lemon. - Laz)
To: Lucky9teen
Enjoy your Vacation Lucky!!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you as well!!
12
posted on
12/16/2011 5:53:39 AM PST
by
Rightly Biased
(Do you know how awkward it is to have a political argument with a naked man?)
To: Rightly Biased
13
posted on
12/16/2011 6:12:22 AM PST
by
Shimmer1
(I haven't even started to procrastinate.)
To: Lucky9teen
2-2-2012
In the coming New Year, 2012, both Groundhog Day and the State of the Union address will occur on the same day.
This is an ironic juxtaposition of events.
One involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to an insignificant creature of little intelligence for prognostication.
The other involves a groundhog.
14
posted on
12/16/2011 6:13:49 AM PST
by
Arrowhead1952
(Dear God, thanks for the rain, but please let it rain more in Texas. Amen.)
To: Lucky9teen
15
posted on
12/16/2011 6:35:05 AM PST
by
Currentriverrat
(People are calling our President the Fresh Prince of Bill Ayers, that's not allowed is it?)
To: Lucky9teen
16
posted on
12/16/2011 6:50:59 AM PST
by
dayglored
(Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!)
To: Lucky9teen
Have a great vacation, Lucky!!
17
posted on
12/16/2011 7:10:31 AM PST
by
ErnBatavia
(Obama Voters: Jose Baez wants YOU for his next jury pool.......)
To: Lucky9teen; waterhill; ixtl
(((ping))) to post 4. LOL!
18
posted on
12/16/2011 7:11:50 AM PST
by
Envisioning
( Call me a racist................, one more time......................)
To: Lucky9teen
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year Lucky! Thank you so much for the OFST. I can’t remember what Fridays at work were like without it. Wait, I remember—they were friggin dull! And not very silly.
19
posted on
12/16/2011 7:14:41 AM PST
by
NietzschesJoker
(Silence, exile, cunning--a few of my favorite things.)
To: NietzschesJoker
20
posted on
12/16/2011 7:20:00 AM PST
by
freebird5850
(Of course Obama loves his country...it's just that Cain loves mine!)
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