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Bound, naked in a Subaru: Valentine's Day role-playing ends badly
LA Times ^ | 14 Feb 2012 | Kim Murphy

Posted on 02/15/2012 9:38:49 AM PST by Theoria

Nikolas Harbar and Stephanie Pelzner
It was Valentine's Day in Portlandia -- should anyone have been upset about a little friendly bondage action in the back of a Subaru?

Well, yes. The Portland Police Bureau was plenty upset, and the lovers, identified as Nikolas Harbar, 31, and Stephanie Pelzner, 26, are under arrest on charges of disorderly conduct in the second degree.

Portland may be a city that has always prided itself on its eccentricities, but police said the red alert that went out when Pelzner was glimpsed bound and naked in the back of the car was a Valentine too far.

It began shortly after noon on Tuesday, when someone at the New Seasons Market in north Portland reported that they had seen a naked female with duct tape on her mouth tied up in the back of a blue Subaru Legacy.

The man driving the car had told the witness they "were just having some fun," police said in their report, but the woman in the back of the car "seemed hazy."

The witness phoned in the license plate to the car, and the search was on.

Authorities in Washington state were alerted, in case the car traveled north across the state line on Interstate 5. Portland police began combing the city's streets, while a patrol car zeroed in on the address where the car was registered.

(Excerpt) Read more at latimesblogs.latimes.com ...


TOPICS: Humor; Society; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: portland; subaru; valentinesday
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Yawn...Portland...Subaru...Ducktape..
1 posted on 02/15/2012 9:38:58 AM PST by Theoria
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To: Theoria
Ain't Love Grand?
 

class=rg_hi


2 posted on 02/15/2012 9:44:50 AM PST by Responsibility2nd (NO LIBS. This mean Liberals and/or Libertarians (Same Thing) NO LIBS.))
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To: Theoria

Looks like Michelle Trachtenberg.


3 posted on 02/15/2012 9:45:57 AM PST by garyb
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To: Theoria

Looks like Michelle Trachtenberg.


4 posted on 02/15/2012 9:45:57 AM PST by garyb
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To: Theoria

Yawn...Portland...Subaru...Ducktape..
________________________________________________________

LOL! “Libtards in Luuuuuuuv”.


5 posted on 02/15/2012 9:46:38 AM PST by RushIsMyTeddyBear (A MUST WATCH: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=KeOLurcQaqI)
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To: Theoria

If they’d been gay they wouldn’t have been booked into the county jail. They would’ve received an apology from the Mayor and slobbering wet kisses from the police department....


6 posted on 02/15/2012 9:48:42 AM PST by freebilly (Obama Sings While America Sinks....)
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To: freebilly

p.s., I’d duct tape her....


7 posted on 02/15/2012 9:50:17 AM PST by freebilly (Obama Sings While America Sinks....)
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To: Theoria
First off, I'm wondering if maybe Pelzner had a bit too much Pilsner ...

But really ... WTF were they thinking?

Any normal person is going to look at that scene and think "violent crime".

8 posted on 02/15/2012 9:51:54 AM PST by ArrogantBustard (Western Civilization is Aborting, Buggering, and Contracepting itself out of existence.)
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To: freebilly

p.p.s., but he’s guilty as hell....


9 posted on 02/15/2012 9:52:09 AM PST by freebilly (Obama Sings While America Sinks....)
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To: Responsibility2nd

“I long for the touch of your lips dear/but more for the touch of your whips dear/fracture my spine and swear that you’re mine/ and be my bondage Valentine’’.


10 posted on 02/15/2012 9:53:47 AM PST by jmacusa (Political correctness is cultural Marxism. I'm not a Marxist.)
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To: Theoria

Poor reporting, no list of charges.


11 posted on 02/15/2012 9:56:50 AM PST by Ratman83
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To: Theoria
Yawn...Portland...Subaru...Ducktape..

She's another liberal being kept under control.

12 posted on 02/15/2012 9:58:05 AM PST by BerryDingle (I know how to deal with communists, I still wear their scars on my back from Hollywood-Ronald Reagan)
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To: Theoria

Sounds like more of a Curb Your Enthusiasm episode than a Portlandia.


13 posted on 02/15/2012 10:01:34 AM PST by denydenydeny (The more a system is all about equality in theory the more it's an aristocracy in practice.)
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To: Theoria
Portland may be a city that has always prided itself on its eccentricities

It actually hasn't.

Portland has been around for 160 years, but it didn't really get a reputation for being "alternative" or "weird" or "edgy" until the explosive growth in its population over the past twenty years.

In the early 90s it became a cheaper, more livable alternative to San Francisco and Seattle for internet and consulting companies. Between 1990 and today its population shot up from 350K to over 600K, a roughly 60% increase.

The too-well-documented Seattle boom of the 90s increased Seattle's population less than 20% in comparison.

Portland has seen an influx of almost 200,000 white, college-educated, wealthy hipsters in the past 15 years, which explains its current reputation for self-congratulatory eccentricity.

14 posted on 02/15/2012 10:01:45 AM PST by wideawake
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To: Theoria

I didn’t know there were any Amish in Portland.


15 posted on 02/15/2012 10:04:30 AM PST by Night Hides Not (My dream ticket for 2012 is John Galt & Dagny Taggart!)
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To: garyb
Looks like Michelle Trachtenberg.

She looks like she could be Casey Anthony's sister!

16 posted on 02/15/2012 10:09:15 AM PST by WXRGina (Further up and further in!)
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To: Theoria
Hmmmmm.


17 posted on 02/15/2012 10:14:33 AM PST by VeniVidiVici (Obama's War on Prosperity is killing me)
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To: VeniVidiVici

Decidedly NOT GUILTY.


18 posted on 02/15/2012 10:20:53 AM PST by bolobaby
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To: Theoria

****Police say they had no way of knowing they weren’t looking for a potential murder victim.

“The concern is their actions created a pretty substantial public alarm, to the point where you have a 911 caller saying she’s concerned about this person tied up naked in the back of a car,” Lt. Robert King, bureau spokesman, told the Los Angeles Times.****

Ended badly? She was ‘hazy’? Whose bright idea was this Valentine stupidity? A really good cover for murder by misadventure.

Think - Josh Powell, Drew Peterson, Scott Peterson, Ted Bundy, Jason Young and dozens of other men who disposed of their wives and lovers.

She may still not realize how close she was to a ‘disappearing’.


19 posted on 02/15/2012 10:20:53 AM PST by sodpoodle ( Newt - God has tested him for a reason...... to bring America back from the brink.)
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To: VeniVidiVici

According to her Myspace acct she list herself as bisexual.


20 posted on 02/15/2012 10:22:19 AM PST by trailhkr1
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To: VeniVidiVici

Absolutely gorgeous eyes.


21 posted on 02/15/2012 10:26:36 AM PST by trailhkr1
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To: Darksheare
Oregon?

*Ponders the meaning*

:-)

22 posted on 02/15/2012 10:32:26 AM PST by Lakeshark (NbIttoalbl,cRwIdtaa)
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To: VeniVidiVici

Oh no ya had too, bracing for Laz impact.....


23 posted on 02/15/2012 10:35:04 AM PST by taildragger (( Palin / Mulally 2012 ))
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To: trailhkr1
According to her Myspace acct she list herself as bisexual.

More like "Trisexual", as in "If it's sexual, she'll 'tri' it."

24 posted on 02/15/2012 10:37:28 AM PST by dfwgator (Don't wake up in a roadside ditch. Get rid of Romney.)
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To: Ratman83
'are under arrest on charges of disorderly conduct in the second degree'
25 posted on 02/15/2012 10:42:16 AM PST by Theoria (Rush Limbaugh: Ron Paul sounds like an Islamic terrorist)
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To: Theoria
Police confirmed from Pelzner “that she was voluntarily bound and nude in the back of the Subaru,” it said.

Sigh. Just another of our valuable inalienable rights being taken away by Big Government.
26 posted on 02/15/2012 10:45:43 AM PST by Cheburashka (If life hands you lemons, government regulations will prevent you from making lemonade.)
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To: Theoria

At least they were not in a Yugo.
They could have been killed by a produce truck while worrying about that backseat [rhymes with duck]....in a Yugo.

Apologies to Rush Limbaugh and Paul Shanklin....and the mods. :)


27 posted on 02/15/2012 10:46:41 AM PST by Protect the Bill of Rights
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To: trailhkr1

All college-educated hipster bitches in Portland list themselves as bisexual. It’s the “in” thing to do.


28 posted on 02/15/2012 10:49:33 AM PST by Rich21IE
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To: garyb
Looks like Michelle Trachtenberg.

Whoa! From a half a light year away perhaps.


29 posted on 02/15/2012 10:50:15 AM PST by Bloody Sam Roberts (Do all He commands. Receive all He promises.)
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To: trailhkr1
Absolutely gorgeous eyes.

Roger that. I was going to say the same thing. Wow... those eyes are intoxicating.

30 posted on 02/15/2012 10:51:02 AM PST by Ramius (Personally, I give us one chance in three. More tea anyone?)
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To: jmacusa
“I long for the touch of your lips dear/but more for the touch of your whips dear"

The Masochism Tango by Tom Lehrer!

31 posted on 02/15/2012 10:52:43 AM PST by Bloody Sam Roberts (Do all He commands. Receive all He promises.)
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To: Lakeshark; derllak; Borax Queen; null and void

Okay Derlly, fess up.
You inspired this one or instigated it in some way shape or form.


32 posted on 02/15/2012 10:53:27 AM PST by Darksheare (You will never defeat Bok Choy!)
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To: Theoria
Subaru Legacy....

Subaru's ads is about love your car... but I doubt this will be an ad for them....

33 posted on 02/15/2012 10:56:25 AM PST by ExCTCitizen (If we stay home in November '12, don't blame 0 for tearing up the CONSTITUTION!!)
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To: Theoria

Thanks, missed that. I think the police a streching to charge them.


34 posted on 02/15/2012 10:59:47 AM PST by Ratman83
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To: Darksheare
Making Love In A Subaru
35 posted on 02/15/2012 11:00:57 AM PST by null and void (Day 1121 of America's ObamaVacation from reality [Heroes aren't made, Frank, they're cornered...])
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To: null and void

Parking brake..
Horn honking, wipers going.. that’s the mental image.


36 posted on 02/15/2012 11:06:39 AM PST by Darksheare (You will never defeat Bok Choy!)
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To: dfwgator
More like "Trisexual", as in "If it's sexual, she'll 'tri' it."

I guy I know is bi-sexual; when he wants it, he buys it!

37 posted on 02/15/2012 11:09:40 AM PST by JimRed (Excising a cancer before it kills us waters the Tree of Liberty! TERM LIMITS, NOW AND FOREVER!)
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To: VeniVidiVici

Is that li’l Buffy, all grown up?


38 posted on 02/15/2012 11:11:21 AM PST by JimRed (Excising a cancer before it kills us waters the Tree of Liberty! TERM LIMITS, NOW AND FOREVER!)
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To: Theoria
Ok...here's an interesting find from The Seattle Times:

Mardi Gras returns to Pioneer Square

Stephanie Pelzner arrives to perform in the Fat Tuesday Seattle Erotic Ball in Pioneer Square.


39 posted on 02/15/2012 11:12:09 AM PST by Bloody Sam Roberts (Do all He commands. Receive all He promises.)
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To: Theoria

song from a few decades ago aired on Dr Demento

Making love in a Subaru, that’s what I wanna do with you
We can always feel around the steering wheel, there seems
to be so much that we can do
An alibi that I will not allow is when you tell me that you don’t know how
‘Cause it’s just like being in bed, all your clothing you
must shed—you can stick ‘em in the glovebox for now

Pigeons overhead flying high, hovering above us in the sky
Now I’m feeling ill at ease, oh my darling would you please
Close the sunroof, something just fell in my eye—yuck!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXYKVfoJ2Gs


40 posted on 02/15/2012 11:24:02 AM PST by raccoonradio
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To: Darksheare

All in the song...


41 posted on 02/15/2012 11:32:46 AM PST by null and void (Day 1121 of America's ObamaVacation from reality [Heroes aren't made, Frank, they're cornered...])
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To: null and void

Well, except for the wipers coming on and the turn signals, headlights turning on.


42 posted on 02/15/2012 11:40:45 AM PST by Darksheare (You will never defeat Bok Choy!)
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To: null and void

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LuaIJGJNbzo


43 posted on 02/15/2012 11:52:49 AM PST by Darksheare (You will never defeat Bok Choy!)
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To: Lakeshark; derllak; Borax Queen; null and void

Uh.. Derlly hasn’t chimed in yet.


44 posted on 02/15/2012 12:26:34 PM PST by Darksheare (You will never defeat Bok Choy!)
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To: Darksheare

Duct tape?


45 posted on 02/15/2012 12:35:53 PM PST by null and void (Day 1121 of America's ObamaVacation from reality [Heroes aren't made, Frank, they're cornered...])
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To: Darksheare; Borax Queen; nicmarlo; derllak
She may have gone comatose from the lack of rain this winter........

Curled up in a Subaru corner sucking her paws.

46 posted on 02/15/2012 12:37:45 PM PST by Lakeshark (NbIttoalbl,cRwIdtaa)
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To: Lakeshark; Borax Queen; nicmarlo; derllak

Nully, “Duct tape?”

Possibly.


47 posted on 02/15/2012 12:41:26 PM PST by Darksheare (You will never defeat Bok Choy!)
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To: Darksheare; Borax Queen; nicmarlo; derllak
*Hybridized sentence*

Duct taped in a Subaru corner, sucking her paws.

48 posted on 02/15/2012 12:50:00 PM PST by Lakeshark (NbIttoalbl,cRwIdtaa)
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To: Night Hides Not

The dream of the 1890's is alive in Portland....

49 posted on 02/15/2012 2:45:17 PM PST by Boogieman
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To: Bloody Sam Roberts
But can she say the magic word from Club Vandersexxx (Euro Trip)?

She's intimidating, that's for sure.

50 posted on 02/15/2012 2:51:18 PM PST by Night Hides Not (My dream ticket for 2012 is John Galt & Dagny Taggart!)
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