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Obama awards himself Medal of Freedom, Declares May Day National Holiday in his honor
SAT 1 Re News ^ | 5/01/2012

Posted on 05/01/2012 3:17:18 PM PDT by cll

KABUL (SAT 1 Re) - Unable to convince the Joint Chiefs of Staff to nominate him for the Medal of Honor for his actions of May 2, 2011, President Obama has decided to award himself the Presidential Medal of Freedom instead.

During his address to the Global Community from Afghanistan later tonight, Supreme Commader-in-Chief Obama will have Afghan President Karzai hold the coveted award while he runs his head through the ribbon himself.

"It is altogether fitting and appropriate that we do this", said our new National Hero. "My actions on that momentous day will forever mark a new beginning in decision making, when the elimination call of terrorist has-beens are again validated by the wisdom of the Excellency in the White House Situation Room", he added.

"I'm already envisioning the National Mausoleum that will one day grace the National Mall with the embalmed body of my First Pride, for all of posterity to see on every May 1 from that day to eternity", waxed a proud First Mother Michelle Obama.

Developing...


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: humor; obama; satire
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To: James Mott
I guess he really is an asshole.

So is your mom.

41 posted on 05/02/2012 5:13:31 AM PDT by humblegunner
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To: James Mott; Politicalmom; humblegunner; Servant of the Cross
"I guess he really is an asshole."

As a n00bie you can't be expected to know this, but humblegunner is stout-hearted, a scout, thoughful, friendly courteous and kind. He's reverent and grave. He's healthy and he's brave. He's clean in soul and body and mind.

(Or was that the Forest Ranger from "Little Mary Sunshine?")


42 posted on 05/02/2012 5:36:17 AM PDT by shibumi (Cover it with gas and set it on fire.)
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To: humblegunner

That’s it? That’s your best shot?
Go crawl back under your rock.


43 posted on 05/02/2012 7:31:48 AM PDT by James Mott
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To: All

Anyone know how to filter out the satirical/humor posts on FR? I have very limited time to peruse this Forum, so I’d like to not waste time on fictitious items.

I’ve never messed around much with the settings on MY ACCOUNT, but I would prefer to receive just straight REAL news items on my FR page. If I want humor/lampooning, I’d just like to seek that out in a separate area.

I don’t like to mix my peas and mashed potatoes.

Thanks for any help. Much appreciated.


44 posted on 05/02/2012 7:41:01 AM PDT by EyeGuy (Non-Holder person.)
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To: James Mott

My “best shot” was made to your face, unlike yours which was made behind my back.

I guess you can figure out what that makes you.


45 posted on 05/02/2012 8:25:52 AM PDT by humblegunner
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To: humblegunner

Not sure what that makes me, but I know that I would never stand in front of you in a buffet line.


46 posted on 05/03/2012 6:02:29 AM PDT by James Mott
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To: James Mott
Not sure what that makes me

Well let me help you out there, bud.

Taking shots at someone behind their back makes you a coward.

cow·ard

noun
1.
a person who lacks courage in facing danger, difficulty,
opposition, pain, etc.; a timid or easily intimidated person.

adjective
2.
lacking courage; very fearful or timid.
3.
proceeding from or expressive of fear or timidity: a coward cry.

It makes you a few other things too, but I'm watching my language today.

47 posted on 05/03/2012 6:07:40 AM PDT by humblegunner
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To: Servant of the Cross
OK ... since this thread has devolved into idiocy, an irrelevant (but not idiotic) question:

Where did the expression "Oh snap!" come from?

Seriously. I just started seeing/hearing it just over a year ago, and it meaning is far from obvious. For some reason, at least to me, the expression comes off as faintly "northeast/New England liberal" and more than just faintly gay.

48 posted on 05/03/2012 6:11:16 AM PDT by ArrogantBustard (Western Civilization is Aborting, Buggering, and Contracepting itself out of existence.)
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To: ArrogantBustard; shibumi; Allegra; Eaker; humblegunner
I honestly don't know, but since you asked seriously, I'll tell you that I saw it on FR (and I personally have not heard it said elsewhere). I confess that the whiteboard depicted on my post above was stolen ... from a Texan FReeper, who is stout-hearted, a scout, thoughtful, friendly, courteous and kind. He's reverent and grave. He's healthy and he's brave. He's clean in soul and body and mind.

However, you just might be on to something about that 'faintly gay' part ......


Pablo is very wily ... She Is A Very Freaky Girl

49 posted on 05/03/2012 6:48:02 AM PDT by Servant of the Cross (the Truth will set you free)
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To: Servant of the Cross; shibumi; Allegra; Eaker

To finally put the issue to rest.. it’s Hemingway.

http://wikilivres.info/wiki/For_Whom_the_Bell_Tolls/9

“In this war are many foolish things,” Agustín said. “In this war there is an idiocy without bounds.”

“Clearly,” said Pilar. “Otherwise we could not be here.”

“Yes,” said Agustín. “We swim within the idiocy for a year now. But Pablo is a man of much understanding. Pablo is very wily.”

“Why do you say this?”

“I say it.”

“But you must understand,” Pilar explained. “It is now too late to be saved by wiliness and he has lost the other.”


50 posted on 05/03/2012 6:58:21 AM PDT by humblegunner
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To: ArrogantBustard; Servant of the Cross; Salamander; humblegunner

I have no idea where “Oh Snap!” comes from, but a wise amphibian said it to me so I keep repeating it in the hope of one day attaining enlightenment.


51 posted on 05/03/2012 7:05:28 AM PDT by shibumi (Cover it with gas and set it on fire.)
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To: shibumi

I eat amphibians.


52 posted on 05/03/2012 7:06:13 AM PDT by ArrogantBustard (Western Civilization is Aborting, Buggering, and Contracepting itself out of existence.)
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To: humblegunner
Thanks. I had been wondering about that one, too.

Haven't read Hemingway for aeons.

53 posted on 05/03/2012 7:07:13 AM PDT by ArrogantBustard (Western Civilization is Aborting, Buggering, and Contracepting itself out of existence.)
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To: ArrogantBustard; Salamander
"I eat amphibians."

Oh, Really?!?

(Or should I say Oh, R'yleh?)



And then some days, the amphibian eats you.


54 posted on 05/03/2012 7:26:54 AM PDT by shibumi (Cover it with gas and set it on fire.)
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To: shibumi; Salamander
Oh, please ... A slimy, tentacled elephasquid against an Arrogant Bustard?

Seriously ...

Bustard wins ... claws down.

55 posted on 05/03/2012 7:30:08 AM PDT by ArrogantBustard (Western Civilization is Aborting, Buggering, and Contracepting itself out of existence.)
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To: humblegunner

You probably “summer” at Martha’s Vinyard and drink white wine.


56 posted on 05/03/2012 9:19:26 AM PDT by James Mott
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To: James Mott

Gallons of it.
Scarf a couple of lobsters to sober up then go sailing.

It’s pretty sweet.


57 posted on 05/03/2012 9:26:44 AM PDT by humblegunner
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To: shibumi

The amphibian declines to eat buzzards.

[worms are bad enough]


58 posted on 05/03/2012 9:41:37 AM PDT by Salamander (Hey blood brother, you're one of our own. You're as sharp as a razor and as hard as a stone.)
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To: ArrogantBustard; shibumi

Salamander elemental incinerates buzzard.

Game over.


59 posted on 05/03/2012 9:54:07 AM PDT by Salamander (Hey blood brother, you're one of our own. You're as sharp as a razor and as hard as a stone.)
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To: humblegunner

May have misjudged you. Any one who eats lobster to sober up can’t be all bad. But wine?


60 posted on 05/03/2012 10:13:36 AM PDT by James Mott
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