Posted on 06/21/2012 10:45:05 AM PDT by servo1969
Answering the age old question, Young Independent Filmmakers Jesse Budd and Patrick Romero set out to simply prove a point.
You're right, it is like talking to a wall because I would not want a man with so little self control anywhere near me, let alone as a friend.
Exactly. I got one female friend I’ve had for 15 years. She’s hot. Smokin’ hot and I tell her so alot. But I don’t want her. For some reason it stops at friends and I really don’t want to go there.
Got alot of females friends and have had so all my life. It does get tougher as you get older and they’re all married. I’ve just learned I got to be a bit cold these days and keep an extreme distance.
Being a Christian doesn't remove temptation. Not only is it simply wise to avoid any situation where you could be tempted, it is also smart to avoid any situation where a credible accusation could be made. Even if you would never be otherwise tempted, do you really know the other person isn't? Or do you know for a fact their SO or yours isn't going to jump to the wrong conclusion?
"I know what I am doing" -- famous last words.
I find this whole premise that men cannot be just friends with women as quite insulting to men. Not all men are slaves to their sexual desires, and there are many things in this life and in the life to come that are more important than sex.
Of course I know that. I won’t, so no prob. :)
Jeremiah 17:9 - The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?
"All these things are voluntary actions is it really that hard to not do them?"
Well no I suppose not but if you sat a fat kid down alone in a candy store and told him it's not that hard he would probably agree,then stuff himself 4 seconds after you turned your back.
In all honesty I have enough crap floating through between my ears to deal with without adding the (to me at least) inevitable sexual fantasies that would be bashing the doors down should I spend a little too much time with an attractive woman that isn't my wife.
Good grief what a run on sentence,I need a cold shower.
I think,in my case anyway,that "he who trusteth himself too much trusts a fool" is a wise err on the side of caution.In fact,he probably came up with that from watching me.
Bottom line is that you are fooling yourself if you think that prolonged unsupervised contact between attractive heterosexuals of the opposite sex, regardless of religious beliefs, will result in a platonic relationship. We aren't built that way.
Many people, men and women do settle for less from what they originally tried or thought they could get...I was not just saying this happens to women only. I can’t tell you how many guys I know who have scoffed at dating a 5/10 women in HS or college but are now engaged or married to them and are very happy.
A “10” with a foul/ugly soul quickly turns into a “-4.” A sweet, kind, good natured “5” quickly turns into an “11.”
A woman can have an attractive male as a friend and not want to have sex with him and just be friends..there has to be “chemistry” with many women.
Ever notice how a lot of women are absolutely not interested in a guy when he’s single, but he’s suddenly fascinating when he’s in a relationship?
No.
Agreed...I know a woman that is a true 9.5 appearance wise but she is ugly to the bone personality. She would brag and laugh how she would treat boyfriends as sh***y as possible just to see how long they would stick around and grovel at her feet.
It became a game to her how bad she would treat them.
No.
Gabz, this is a true phenomenon. Many woman will look upon a married guy as a catch because another woman found him desirable/married him so he must have good traits and they look upon as the single guy as possibly less desireable because "why is he not married..what is wrong with him that no woman wants him"
There was a thread on this on FR and many male posters said they get hit on way more after they are married.
Not true. I really don't care about money all that much.
Trust yourself isn’t about your heart, it’s about your brain. It’s all voluntary actions here, your heart doesn’t decide whether or not you doink that girl not your wife, your brain does, and that’s you. If you know it’s wrong then you have everything in your brain necessary to make the right decision.
That’s a kid. This is adult behavior. The kid often doesn’t know it’s wrong, best he knows is his parent might get upset. An adult knows it’s wrong. An adult in the candy store will generally make the right call. And if they make the wrong call it’s because they decided to.
We’ll just have to agree to disagree. I have spent plenty of “unsupervised” time with my male friends and it has always remained platonic, both before after and often during, any time any of us have been involved in a relationship.
After I left him, my ex husband went around town claiming I left him for the man who is now my husband. Of course this was extremely laughable because I didn’t meet him until well after I had left the other dork and met him at a time that another relationship was the very last thing on my mind. he enjoyed humiliating me and some of my business associates by questioning which one I was sleeping with that week - when all along he was the only one in the marriage with a track record of sleeping around.
This brings to light that we need to define "friend"
A co-worker is not a friend. Even though you spend hours with them at work you do not rely on them in your private life, you do not share intimate details of your life with them, you do not hang around with them one-on-one outside of work. They are at best acquaintences.
A "friend" (by my definition) is someone I would lay my life down for and whom I know would lay their life down for me. Most people have less than 2 or 3 real friends in their entire lives.
When I get to the point where I want to know a woman that intimately, then I'll already be married to her. Otherwsie why waste my time investing into a relationship that is going nowhere.
We are just going to have to agree to disagree. My husband actually had to find this thread to read last night because he could not believe the things I was telling him about it.
So sorry that has been your experience - it hasn't been mine.
If I read your posts correctly, you're not a guy. You wouldn't know. The temptation is always there. That doesn't mean we give into it, or even admit it most of the time, but the temptation is always there.
We could be friends if women would just get over we don’t look them in the eyes during conversation.
Google "why do women find married more more attractive" There are thousands of studies on this and it is a true happening. Is it true for all women? No, most woman don;t want anything to do with a man after he is married but not all. It does happen.
Here is what one woman wrote from google.:
Married men are more "manly." Married men seem to be more appealing to women because they appear manlier. They are also more attractive because they have shown and proven that they are not afraid of commitment and have already done so. The fact that a woman decided to tie the knot with him also makes him more attractive - because he certainly has something that made that woman marry him in the first place and single women want to find out what that is.
Married men are men are more intimate compared to single men. This is mainly because married men have sort of been screened and picked by another woman already and obviously passed. Married men also show the ability to be intimate and be one with another person, something that makes him even more attractive to single women.
Married men are already committed. This one sounds fairly simple, but the commitment a married man is in is something that is attractive to certain women who do not want something similar. To some women, knowing that the man is already married means that he has a home to go to, a family to be with, and the both of them just spend time when they want to. The married man and the single woman are under no obligation to make time for each other, and these stolen moments are what make the relationship even more exciting.
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